maydaymayday.net is CLOSED

Yes, I want to resign, I should concentrate on my own life instead.
Why do I do so much for? I lose sleep, I use up alot of my own private time, I even use up my time with my boyfriend, and I sacrifice my own schoolwork for doing all these Mayday stuff. Does Mayday know it? I guess not, coz we never bothered to tell them and we didn't want to make a big fuss out of telling them either. Maybe its our own fault for never wanting to tell them upfront that, Hey! We made a web just for you guys! Come see ok? Leave us a message too! Write something for us to put up on our web please!
(But then again... I just don't like to do such things...)

We shall close the website.
Goodbye to mdmd.net.
No more tons of news to translate.
No more radio interviews to record and edit.
No need to hunt for any more chords & tabs.
No need to update any profiles or links.
No need to worry about people not being able to download files and answer all their queries or solve their individual download/computer problems
No need for Sh to convert any more OK La episodes either and fight with his siblings for the use of the com
No need to answer to anyone anymore
No need to feel as though we owe everyone out there something
No need to face any fansite politics either
No more stress

From now on, I shall have enough beauty sleep, less wrinkles, less eyebags, less pimples. I shall have more time for my schoolwork and I won't miss deadlines. We can even catch a movie all the time, rather than sit at home or at sh's home doing the website.

Isn't this such a wonderful dream.

But its a dream............
Maydaymayday.net is still OPEN.
It remains open because it is our dream. Our dream to want to bring the joy of Mayday and their music to other people. We never made it for the sake of Mayday, but only with Mayday fans in mind, Mayday fans just like ourselves.

We want to do it just because it makes other people happy. But hey, allow me to let off some steam here in my blog, because I've got a bunch of radio interviews yet to put up, plenty of news not translated, somemore photos to put up, queries (sometimes unreasonable ones) to answer.

As I try to do my sch work, I worry about pple wanting the ufm or 933 interviews soon. I can just hear shir or nic telling me to not bother and just concentrate on my work, but then all these are constantly at the back of my mind. Simply because I want mdmd.net to be a success (and I'm a extreme perfectionist.. wouldn't put up stuff if its not up to my own expectations), not for the sake of people knowing us, but for the sake of giving mayday fans what they want. Giving many out there who are unable to access chinese sites, a better opportunity to know mayday.

I never wanted to be high profile. I just like to be simple old me, doing what I like most, music and making people happy. Just like what sh told me before, when he started the forum in the past, he never expected it to become what it is today. And neither would we expect that our website could clock a number of up to 90000 people to date.

It is an achievement. But what for? I ask myself sometimes. Can it feed us? Can it help us gain access to Mayday's studio? Can we have special priviledges when it comes to Mayday events? Can it even lead Mayday coming to visit us at our homes? The simple answer.. of course.... is NO.

I do wonder at times how long we can hang on, but we are hanging on tight. So long as both of us are together and Mayday plays on and we know there are people who enjoy the things at our website,
Maydaymayday.net remains OPENED.

Everything's changing

Everything's changing

out of what I know

Everywhere I go I'm a mobile

I'm a mobile

Hanging from the ceiling

Life's a mobile

Spinning 'round with mixed feelings

Crazy and wild

Sometimes I wanna scream out loud

(avril lavigne)

Change. Its something we really can't control. Things happen when we don't expect them too and good things happen when you don't try too hard instead.

I've seen, I've experienced, I've learnt.

That while its good to have dreams, we shouldn't be too greedy and over enthusiastic. When something should happen, it will happen when the time comes.

Memories. Sweet ones, sad ones, all alike. The details fade away over time, but those touching moments never disappear. I want to remember them, and I know I will remember them. We just don't have to try that hard too because memories are just like footprints in the sand, they get washed away by the changing tide of time, but their imprint is left deep in our hearts.

Time. Its relentless, its the father or all change. Just a week ago, I was at squashed in a crowd of many including good friends, friends, aquaintances whom i've know over these 3 years, at Mayday's miniconcert and that day was the day of my life. It may never be like before again but I am satisfied for what I have. My heart has been warmed, truly warmed.

Dreams. I have a dream, everyone does. My dream is probably unattainable but there is no rule in dreaming right? I just want to perform together with Mayday, work with them in their studio and live gigs, yup, thats my ultimate dream. If only I can become one of their engineers... *pls don't burst my bubble*

Friendship. Its what I've gained the most in these 3 years, from people I've never expected and from people who just came into my life as though we were all meant to meet some day. Friendship can change too? It definitely can... I miss my friends from secondary school, jc, uni.. perhaps when you win some, you truly do lose some. But maybe I have never lost them, because they have always been in my heart. We may not always meet up, but their faces, their actions, their mannerisms are still etched in my mind.

I can't live without friends. Having another friend is always better than having another enemy.

Let time not wash away any of the wonderful friendships that I've got now.

Me. I want to change. I want to become a stronger and braver person. I want to excel in music. Let me change, but let my heart not change. I want to be who I am, the taurus that everyone likes me to be. It may be tiring living for others, but if I don't live for others, who do I live for?

I don't just want to be a mobile spinning round and round, I want to move forward. And in this journey, I want to always have friends beside me. I want to keep my dreams strong and memories forever tucked in my mind, as a constant reminder to myself that I am fortunate and there are many people supporting me out there.

Everything's changing, everything's moving. We can't stop this from happening, but may all these changes be for the better

三年了

一眨眼﹐三年就這麼過去了

這三年來﹐我老了也憔悴了
這三年來﹐我經歷了風風雨雨﹐有快樂的時光﹐也有沮喪的時候
但就在這三年﹐我有你在我身旁﹐陪伴我笑﹐也陪伴我落淚.

你的笑容﹐你的脾氣﹐你的一舉一動我都背得一清而楚
但總是還會害怕有一天失去你﹐一切都會淡忘。
所以每一天我都很珍惜﹐希望能把每個細節都記在心裡.

三年前﹐我不怕寂寞﹐不懂瘋狂
三年後﹐我好害怕一個人﹐而我的瘋狂也只因有你。
我的堅持﹐我的勇氣﹐都因你的鼓勵.

三年前的我﹐或許是比較堅強獨立﹐可是我不願放開有你的我。

你帶給我幸福﹐也帶給我悲傷
你讓我微笑﹐也讓我哭泣
我又愛你﹐又恨你
就這麼愛愛恨恨地過了三年.

我常覺得我們不像情人﹐而是知己﹐一對超好的朋友。

無聊的話題我們有﹐嚴肅的話題我們也有。
有時候就會挑起一些社會或政治時間來聊﹐偶而而會因此意見不合而開始辯論。
有事沒事更會談起五月天﹐怎麼搞好網站﹐不知他們情況如何。
相信這三年以來﹐我們之間所用過最多的字﹐應該是五月天吧!

我真的很慶幸找到這個傻男孩﹐一個能陪伴我追著五個大男生的傻男孩。

有時候我都會用阿信來鬥你 (你真以為我抱著你卻喊著阿信時﹐是真的嗎? 哈哈﹐我還清醒得很呢!)
就象你最愛惹我﹐看我假生氣的樣子這也就是我們一直以來最快樂最舒服的生活方式.

我曾說過﹐你快樂所以我快樂
我只想看著你每天都開開心心的過。
這樣的要求﹐算不算太高?

三週年快樂﹗
有了我們大恩人的祝福﹐我相信我們能手牽著手地向前走
明年﹐後年﹐五年後﹐十年後﹐我希望能有機會在和他們說一聲﹐我們還在一起!

或許有一天﹐紅色炸彈能成現實﹐
但讓我們先好好的珍惜彼此﹐珍惜我們週圍的好朋友﹐我們身邊的家人﹐
和我們活在這世界上的每一天。

謝謝你當我的志明﹐也謝謝你心甘情願地擔當了我的垃圾車。
讓我照顧你﹐讓你未來放在我肩上

瘋狂世界

一個瘋狂的世界
一個瘋狂的週末
一群瘋狂的朋友

一個不可思議的經驗
一個意想不到的問題
一陣又一陣的笑聲

我愛的人問我什麼時候結婚﹐奇怪吧? 其實並非那麼奇怪﹐因為我愛的人讓我找到愛我的人。

出了事﹐我也不用怕﹐因為還有人要負責嘛 =P. 你說真的嗎? 我不介意噢! 哈哈... 除非.... 你是要對他負責.. 嗯... 嗯.... 沒話說了...

其實我也沒想到這個問題啦﹐似乎還很遙遠似的﹐結婚前真的真的要想清楚。而目前﹐結婚這兩個字對我來說﹐其實還蠻陌生的﹐我們各自都還有夢想要實現。但如果真的在演唱會求婚﹐我想我可能會真的受不了噢 ...

目前我們都很好﹐未來再說吧。哈哈



上個週末我聽到了很多經典的名言, 就在這記錄下來吧

1) 帥噢﹗你不要我要 (嗯... 真的嗎?)
2) 需要幫忙嗎? 我是男人
3) 好奇寶寶
4) kaypoh 寶寶
5) Airport 要關了
6) 印度放假啊?
7) 前凸後翹
8) 晚安! 歡迎光臨!
9) 錢嘛!...... 錢leh!
10) 很像尼姑﹗
11) 一千塊噢!

我會再想想看﹐然後再補上這個List

The Beatels

It was an amazing experience, even though I was already really tired out and feeling real oily from runing around the entire day.

It was almost as good as the Beatles themselves. At that time, i just wished Mayday was there because they would have been able to appreciate it much better and how happy they would have been.

Listening to the Beatels talk, I just thought of the only Beatles album I have, Let it be (Naked), and the way they talked, its just such a striking resemblence to the music icons themselves. Whats more, the Beatels played the Beatles to almost perfection and you could really see the chemistry between the 4 of them. Most importantly, they just looked like they enjoyed themselves truly (especially 'Ringo' who I've gotta take my hat off too, for being able to shake his head, nod his head constantly while playing the drums... I was kinda worried his wig would fall off. It was either well attached or it was his real hair haha)

One thing I thought was really great was the vocals, all of them could sing and they harmonized just like the Beatles would. 'John Lennon' was really practically John Lennon singing live to us and Paul McCartney's screaming vocals in Hey Jude, was replicated superbly by 'Paul McCartney'. At that time, I felt myself in love with the Beatles or the Beatels... suddenly I didn't know which it was anymore, and I thought about all I've read about the Beatles ever since I embarked on my very long assignment.

They were the fab 4, 4 guys who had great dreams, great talent, great charisma and great minds. It became completely unsurprising how they could have been so succesful in their lifetime and till today, remain such iconic figures in music. I've never watched the Beatles while they were alive before, and John Lennon was shot on the fateful year that I was born, but yesterday I had that chance again, to imagine how people in the past would be watching the Beatles themselves perform.

It was great, simply great (pardon me for repeating this word so many times). It only cost $25 for the ticket but the performance, the showmanship, the talent and the entire setup was worth much more than that. It was not as large a turnout as compared to Jay's concert just next door, where we could hear roaring screams as Jay ended each number. But the Beatels gave us a new chance to experience the Beatles at this time when it is no longer possible to have the Beatles as they are. They gave us a wonderful night of music and a grown interest in the fab 4.

眼神 (Part 2)

眼神

作词Lyricist : 姚若龙 作曲Composer : 孙燕姿

被现实推挤 梦想会变形
执着让人 觉得好吃力
我只是看着你 了解的神情
微笑扬起 又能继~~~续

有时候爱是一种眼神 赶走所有苦闷
是你让我记得自己不是一个人
有你在什么都有可能 因为彼此信任
真的爱情不需要保证(会恒温)

你从不劝我 别逆风飞行
牵手陪我 向梦前~~~进

I am tired

So so burnt out.. after this weekend of Mayday, i've gotta get back to my school work, I've got to work for money to cover what i've spent this weekend.

I am lack of sleep, my body is tired, but I am without doubt,
HAPPY.

I am currently running through all that has happened in my head all over again. And I am hoping that I will never ever forget this weekend, never ever....

眼神

So much happened in the last 5 days, that its become so difficult to put things out in words.

I'm thankful for the bunch of good friend's I've made, a whole bunch of siao char bors but unreserved, caring, true friends that I have to thank Mayday for. In this bunch of friends, we've got different talents, different personalities but one thing in common... madness, which of course, I think is what makes us always so happy when we are all together, regardless of whether Mayday is around. This is the Mayday Mafia, with a da jie da, a mamasan, a no.5 mei nu (booked by me apparently hahhaha), a paparazzi, a loanshark and experts in different areas, so much so that we really run like an organized mafia network. And I just love this mafia network! heheh, coz it allows me to just be crazy and mad without feeling as though I am mad because they are more mad than me!

But thank you guys for everything!!!
Da Jie Da for helping me run abt at the airport ;)
Mamasan for your liang cha and loaning me your no.5 mei nu
Loanshark for all the taxi fare loans haha
Chris for educating me in how to differentiate between peanuts and chilli
Qianhui for being the best paparrazi
Jean for not admitting you are drunk when you seem to be drunk hehe
Jac for being always Mayday lucky :P
The above 7 for always drinking so much tiger beer and going mad
no.5 mei nu for secretly serving me XO at home

Yup, the last weekend was not just one of Mayday, but one for friendship. I'm also grateful for the friendship that Mayday has given to me. Some things need not be put out in words or actions, but a simple look can say everything. The eyes are the windows to a person's soul, and I've seen the deepest of souls so many times this weekend, so much that it has made me feel so warm and significant.

我們都是神的孩子 眼神可以互相了解
神的孩子們再熱情再瘋狂都很可愛

The Lost World

I am weak, I feel empty, its as though a typhoon came back and hit me, as tough i'm suffering from the withdrawal symptoms of a drug addiction... of an addiction called Mayday.

They've left Singapore, and a part of me has also left. That spark of light and that endless energy that seems to burn in me whenever they are around, has left. Its a weird thing, but its true. As I woke up just now, I felt sapped of energy, my body felt tired and my heart just felt sore. It always happens after Mayday leaves, not to mention that they've really gave me the best weekend of my life, the best weekend that I could never imagine in my life.

Thank you Ashin, Monster, Stone, Masa and Ming. Thank you all for making me this unimportant person feel important. Thank you for giving me hope and all the sweet words that you have said to me. I will go on, I will get over this period. Then I'll wait again for the day when I see them again, and that day I'll make sure I have some achievements to make them proud of me again.

Today is the day!

In less than 10 hours, I will be reduced to a little girl again, with a shaking body, thumping heartbeat, short breathing and a total state of disbelief.. then once again, these 5 guys will appear and walk past me like nobody's business and like I didn't even exist, even though I woke up early just to go there to wait for a glimpse of them. Sounds like the Beatles ya? but its not hahaha

But still I'm gonna set my alarm to wake up and make it down to the airport at 11, for their flight arrival. I want to be there, to see my 5 friends again, these 5 friends I haven't met up in such a long time but I read abt their news all the time, I watch them on television. These 5 friends who have made such a difference to my life and gave me such happiness each time they visit. How could I not go down to greet them for making the trip here?

Everyday we work and we work, just waiting for days like these to come. they come and they go, then we work and we work then they come again. It sounds mundane but without these 5 crazy guys as a part of my life, I probably won't even be able to find that energy to work. Every assignment I do at school is about them. My classmate once asked me what website I was going to do for my Dreamweaver assignment, he only gave me one second to turn around but without answering, he answered for me "Wu Yue Tian". That just says it all, I am all Mayday, I wish I could say I am Mayday but alot of people will come hounding after me hahaha.

Yes, I am very happy right now. I even smiled broadly to myself while walking home today listening to my discman play the songs from their 5th album, as I fantasized and imagined how their concert would be like and what I would say to them at their autograph session. Its all so nice and rosy, these huge bubble of dreams... but then on the actual day, I''ll just be dumbstruck again, but it all becomes sweet again when they give you that hand squeeze of assurance as though they are telling you that 'hey, nice to see you again'. It doesn't have to be all in words, its all in the heart and all they want to tell us or what we want to tell them, dissolves into that single handshake.

I'm looking forward to the next few days, even though my work will be at a standstill. Its already overdue anyway, so just let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be........

神的孩子都在跳舞 Album Description

神的孩子都在跳舞
Falling Angels with a Flying Soul

An album which took Mayday back to the studio at Kawaguchi-ko and tested the band's tacit understanding of one another's skills.It fully exemplifies Mayday's passion towards music and goes as far as their imagination takes them, in trying to acheive that 'band-sound' of their past as an underground band. With all the members trying their hand at song writing, expect to be surprised by what Mayday can offer. It is one truly experimental album that brings you on a musical journey of soundscapes, colourful characters, social issues and dreams. Mayday's 5th anniversary, 5th album, is a Mayday that was never like before.

Visit http://www.maydaymayday.net for more of Mayday :)

---

Just doing a little advertisement for mayday here =P and since I wrote the description for the web, might as well paste it here too (don't waste hahah)

Countdown of 2 days more to Mayday's arrival!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(exclaimations copyrighted to wonfu's xiaomin, have to be careful now, after reading trenix's post on copyrighting her ming yan haha)

Life is tough when you have to make choices

What do you do when your left hand is holding onto something important but your right hand wants to go somewhere else. Answer, you chop off your left hand!!

Ok, I don't mean to be disgusting... but my point is, sometimes its so hard to make choices. Do you make a choice for yourself, or for the good of others? Do you do something that you really want, or do you stick by your word because others need you? How can you ever make a choice between your religion against your passion, when both sides have to do with the heart, you can't just tear your heart into 2.

If I go to HK, I will be disappointing a lot of pple who need me and we've practiced and gone through so much for the carolling. If I stay, I don't get to go to HK or see Mayday at the concert... but then again, its not a full concert. I guess, just by reading these 2 lines, you can sort of tell which side of the scale I'm more inclined to.

I can't give up the carolling obligation that I have. I have to be there, its CHIJMES, so many pple will be watching, how could I leave and not support my choir? And I have to play the keyboard too, i mean, just my luck that the real organists and keyboardists are all tied up that day. I've recorded for keyboard before but I never tried playing live before.. don't even know if i can pull it off =P. Well, doesn't help too that I'm in the committee this time for carolling planning and one of the section leaders. With all these on my shoulders, how could I leave, even if the other side of my heart is leaning towards mayday and hk.

My only chance of getting thru this is to shut off the fact that there is such a concert in HK. This is the ultimate act of self-deception, the only way to survive this! Its all boh's fault... why did he left me know about this (hahaha).

Goodbye HK, Hello CHIJMES

Mainstream... what's that?

Yesterday, I finally experienced what its like to sing with a live band. Not to a minus-one VCD and not to just an organ or a piano, and not to a recorded band either. It was exciting because I've always wanted to sing to a live band but in the end, it wasn't a very high feeling.... sadly.. coz for one, the song wasn't very high, and the bassist seemed to have a very black face all the while, and the audience weren't very courteous while I was singing because they and their friends have already finished singing.. I was the last up, not to mention 撞歌 (!!!)

I actually chose 葉子 because I was asked to select a more主流song after my so called 另類songs like 靜止and 我給的愛we rejected because people won't dedicate these songs at 民歌餐廳 (!!!). Well, I would :P. The best part was when I got there, I realised somebody would be singing the same song, so I wanted to change to "Fly Away" but they didn't know how to play the song (!!!). So I just gave up and went ahead anyway. But who would like listening to a slow song twice... so that was my fate, a noisy audience. Whats more, they were only there to really support their friends. I didn't care, I just sang.

I actually contemplated whether I should go yesterday because each time I go for an audition there, I had to pay the 'entrance' fee, for sitting in there plus a drink. It wasn't cheap and it was only right to pay for whoever accompanied me there as well, not a very good thing for me at a time when my bank account has reached an all time low. But I just wanted to go challenge myself.... if I do get in, at least I can earn some money too.

The only thing I really hope, is that all these were not just gimmicks to draw customers into their restaurant. If it were, then I would be such a fool, having lost my senses to my own love for singing. I should just open my own restaurant haha or find myself a real band!

We stayed on to listen to their own singers perform. We picked 溫柔and 浪人情歌, waited and waited, but our songs weren't chosen to be sung, so we just left. Interestingly, someone dedicated 燕尾蝶which I just knew they wouldn't sing, and they proved me right :P. Well, so much for 主流!

Singaporean Tragedy

I would really like to learn to be proud of my country sometimes, but so many times I just end up sighing and shaking my head when I look at how our whole society functions. Its a system that is really hard to break out of, given the politics scene and the whole way all Singaporeans have been socialized.

We'll like very much to think that we are middle class and civilised but just a trip on the MRT sometimes, you hear and observe things that all hopes and beliefs that we really are who we think we are, all burst like a soap bubble. Maybe I grew up in a pristine environment, in schools that are so called within the upper echelons of the education system, in conditions where I never really understood many vulgarities. Don't be surprised that till today, there are alot of vulgarities that I still don't really know what they mean. Maybe it was such a world for me, that the world I see now seems a little of a culture shock.

Why do I say this? I believe many of us have seen groups of teenagers in shopping malls or buses for example, talking out aloud, scolding vulgarities and even scolding and challenging the poor bus driver who is just doing his job. Is it the fault of our supposedly great and perfect educational system that inevitably created such a personality in our teenagers today? To tell the truth, I have no idea how the primary or secondary education is carried out these days, but something has to be wrong for this change (unless its really only perceived by me). Why can't teenagers speak with discretion or think carefully before they speak or do something?

I think it all boils down to the need for attention. Why else would a child do weird actions or talk out loud, or use vulgarities, or even make worthless comments at times? This I believe, is all in the bid for grabbing the attention of people around them, the attention that they never really seem to get at home.

They do this anywhere, even online... like here,
http://forums.hardwarezone.com/showthread.php?p=11939209&posted=1#post11939209
(To my dear Mayday friends reading this, don't be chong dong hahaha)

These people have definitely succeeded I would say, they got my attention. I don't even go to hardwarezone. If not for boh, I wouldn't have gone to reply there =P.
But attention they have got, they haven't got much respect, they make me sigh harder and heavier at how our next generation of youths and breadwinners are turning out.

Maybe the 'garmen' should do something, maybe we ourselves who are the next in line as educators of the next generation should step out ourselves and make a difference to society, possibly transforming this tragedy into a happy ending

Falling Angels with a Flying Soul

Been working on my assignment and trying to analyze Mayday's new song John Lennon. Read alot on the Beatles too and about how they were such an influence on youth culture at that period of time - a time of change in lifestyles towards one of great affluence, one that would allow rock music to permeate the lives of many.

Its not a mystery as to how the Beatles could become such a music legend, with their great music melodies, the use of simple yet complex arrangments, thought provoking and touching lyrics that talk about their society in the mid 1960s. But while reading these writings done on the Beatles, its made me realise that even the most glamourous Beatles had weaknesses.. John who had initially relunctantly married his pregnant girlfriend only ended up divorcing her; the Beatles almost split up at their height when George Harrison just wanted to quit all of a sudden; they ousted their former drummer for Ringo; and all of them experimented with drugs.

It was just like a lightbulb that suddenly lit in my head, how this idea of human weaknesses linked up to the the themes of many songs in Mayday's new album. Even the greatest legendary characters like Sun Wu Kong was defeated by loneliness and the all powerful Superman can't be as succesful in love, needless to say, even John Lennon lost his life that was precious to the hearts of many fans, to a gunshot wound - they were after all, very much human (although Sun Wu Kong is really a monkey.... well, you know what I mean haha)

Also related to the theme of human weakness, is the idea of war and conflict. That for many years, no matter through any time and space, this remains the same. The message is clearly put across in both "John Lennon" and "Wan An Di Qiu Ren".

Admist this bath of harsh reality, Mayday also does not forget to shower its listeners with songs of hope, like "Jue Jiang" where overcoming difficulties is very much a personal endeavour (even the idea of turning a negative human trait of stubborness to one of perserverance), or in "Le Se Che" and "Rang Wo Zhao Gu Ni" where friends and loved ones can help see us through all hard times and be there to cover up for our own weaknesses.

The whole album just seems to convey a sort of positivity in negativity, a sort of uprising after downfall caused by the inevitability of human weaknesses, and its probably why the english translation of "Falling Angels with a Flying Soul" has been chosen for the title of the album.

What is happiness?

Happiness can be biting into your favourite icecream. It can be just having a lazy day in bed or out partying with friends. Sometimes it can be more complex, to the extent of having tons of money or having a dream holiday at a dream location.

But to me, happiness simply means seeing those I care for happy, cheery and healthy. I don't ask for much, but why is it that I still can't find total happiness sometimes?

I hate upsetting people and disappointing friends or family. I hate seeing anyone I care unhappy because of things I have said, whether through misunderstandings, or as a result of things I have done and unwittingly hurt them in the process. You may not believe it, but I have never argued with my friends in my life because wherever I can, I always give way. A friend once described me as very 隨和 (easy-going) because I have no temper.

I DO have a temper.. I just keep it inside me sometimes, bubbling like a dormant volcano deep beneath the earth. I simply don't erupt... if I do, its almost once in a very blue moon.

I always try to keep myself calm and compliant to whatever my friends want to do. They wanna go shopping, I go along, even though I may be bored stiff. Another friend once told me in Secondary school that I should learn to be more fierce so that I will not be easily bullied. But I believe, till this day, I am being 'bullied' some way or another in my life... all because I am always an "OK" person who knows not how to say "No", even if I'm already on the edge of a cliff.

I know that I should learn to be more firm sometimes but then I know too that I have gained many close friendships simply because of this personality that I have developed. A personality that does not ask for much, goes with what everybody else wants, gives in and relaxes whatever expectations and requests that I may have inside, just so that everybody can be H.A.P.P.Y.

I really don't care about myself sometimes. Forget the dreams, forget the aspirations, forget whatever material belongings or expectations. All these don't matter if my friends and loved ones aren't happy. People may hurt me but I usually forget in a matter of minutes, or rather, I choose to forget...

My happiness may be unhealthily built and dependent on others' happiness. So much so that I am lost at times as to what I am really doing for myself that makes me happy.

Damn! if people in war torn countries or poverty stricken regions can find happiness in their lives, why can't we, these urban, so called modern, (un)civilised, thought-to-be-sophisticated and complex creatures, also just be happy?!?

Chill out! What cha yelling for?

Lay back! It's all been done before

And if you could only let it be you will see

I like you the way you are

When we're driving in your car

And you're talking to me one-on-one

But you become Somebody else, round everyone else

You're watching your back like you can't relax

You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me

Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated

And life's like this youand you fall and you crawl

and you break and you take what you get

(Avril Lavigne - Complicated)

I'm in love...

Don't faint yet.. because I'm actually talking about Mayday =P. You're probably just gonna be reading mostly about Mayday in my blog, because that is what I am about, Mayday hahaha.
You see, I'm also lack of sleep now, so a little cranky.

The more I listen to this album the more gaga i become, erm.. let me correct myself, the more awestruck I become. Yes, thats it. Nothing makes my heart beat faster than listening to a new song by Mayday. Nothing makes me listen closer. It may be pleasing to my ears, it may be not. I have disliked a few songs by them before, I still skip these tracks when listening to them on my player but when its performed live, I still love it simply because its live! There, I contradicted myself! hahah... Hey, people won't go about saying that love is blind, if it wasn't true, won't they ;)

Their latest album, I don't think there is a single bad song in it. Of course, what is good or bad is purely based on persective. But now, I'm judging based on the point that nothing is bad because so much attention has been paid into details like the fantastic soundscape of sound effects, guitar, drums and orchestra which acts as a prelude to "Sun Wu Kong"; or the very cool hollow snare sound to simulate the sound of an engine starting in "Le Se Che"; or the use of chromatic chords to mark the intro of a song that would talk to us about a music legend "John Lennon", accented throughout by sizzling hats and a walking bass, giving it a very 60s rock and roll feel; or the humour of recording a metronome with a recorder, a trombone as a elephant kind of bass, with bells to create the song that is to be the name of their album "Shen De Hai Zi Dou Zai Tiao Wu".

Then there is "Wan An Di Qiu Ren" which is such a surprise, another intriguing soundscape of tribal chants and congo drums, paving way for pounding toms that I have to admit, in the beginning I thought was a timpani, real cool! And the best part of this, I am too in love with the way Ashin's voice sounds here which has improved tremendously after their 2 year hiatus (floating away~~).

Don't ask me why ;) must be the toms.... I have to add that this song is as a whole a very fantastic listening experience, excellent arrangment, lots of different instruments, even if a Chinese drum (at abt 1.50) if I'm not wrong, used and very appropriate sound effects like the sound of horses to accent climaxes. I'm gonna rave on about this song, because of its lyrics too.. its always been something I've been very concerned about and blogged about too - war, conflict and violence. These are my 2 favourite lines from the song:

大人 在冷氣房 作戰 小孩 在太陽下 逃難

多害怕 在未來 人類對一切習慣 拿起字典一頁頁的翻 始終找不到的字是不是愛

I'll just have to go aaaaaaaaaaaah as I listen through this album which is so full of surprises and such a pleasure to listen to because of its many nooks and crevices still left to be discovered each time I listen again. This is just why I love Mayday so much and I have fallen in love with them all over again. They haven't disappointed me so far, and right now, they haven't either, with their 5th album.

Blacklisted Speakers

Creative Intrigue 2.1 3300
(CONDITION: DYING)

They sounded pretty good in the beginning.. can't remember how much they cost me, not very cheap really! Its not even a year since I bought them and now the remote control has gone cranky.. don't ever buy this!

Not to mention that they speakers with their high centre of gravity keep toppling over easily.

I can barely control the volume properly now, having a hard time listening to songs... the most important part of my life... sheesh

Take a chance on me!

I just received a mail that I thought I would never see again. My heart skipped when I saw it, and till now its all light and feathery. Especially after I gave up my chance the previous time.... We all know that opportunity only knocks once, but now, it has come knocking again the 2nd time! Unbelievable!

I have just been given the chance to go for my 2nd audition one more time! I know I should just believe in myself and just go for it. Especially after watching wonfu perform at muchuan today on tv and I recall the stage, I recall singing on that same stage and my heart starts to itch again. I know my good friend who didn't make it the first round was very encouraging and hoped I got signed on even if she wasn't. But can I imagine singing there alone without her?

The first audition, she was there with me, we were singing out of pure fun before the actual audition. If I go this time, I would have to stand strong on my own. I know I can't always have the company of others if I want to go ahead to achieve my own dreams. I know that if I go for it and I do make it, she will be proud of me too. Yes, I should go...

I just hope that the last time when I gave up this chance and my nose went mad, causing me a bad night's sleep, won't happen again next wed. I know I should just go and see how things go.. I should just do my best and just be my usual self. Maybe this will be a new springboard for me, for my dreams and for the support that I my friends have always given me all this while.

I will reply the email... I will go.... next wed... I can only pray for the very best!

讓我照顧你

Its weird that the english title for this song is 'enrich your life'. It totally takes the romanticness out of the song, the touching lyrics and the way it seems to speak to me. The arrangment of the song is simple, its rhythm changing, flowing and moving along as the emotions of the lyrics unfolds itself. But all hitting the right notes at the right time that it strikes a chord in me.

Why is it that when I listen and sing to this song quietly and alone, it always almost drives me to tears?

This is probably one of the more "Mayday" songs in this album, the Mayday that I have gotten used to over these 4 years. It is also probably the reason why I could comfortably engulf myself in what the song is really trying to convey. So much so that each time I sing to the song, I feel myself become the protagonist of the song..

坐在我身旁 你的心傷 不懂 我也不想 但你的眼淚 下在我心臟
回家的太陽 紅著眼框 心疼 妳的模樣 影子的悲傷 也變的更長

So many times I see him upset beside me but unwilling to open up his thoughts. I can't understand his frustrations but I feel his pain as much as he does.

昨天誰讓你 受過傷 今天想要讓你 都遺忘

Whatever or whoever hurt him yesterday, even if it was me, I hope to take away that pain today.

是你 愛你讓我變的更強 為你戰鬥永不投降
讓我照顧你 我要讓雨停出太陽

With him, I can do more things, I become stronger than I really am. I want to shelter him from any storm, to take away all hurt, disappointments and fears.

我超越我自己的想像 風雨刀槍能為你擋
讓我照顧你 讓你未來放在我肩上

I find strength in him to do for him and myself, things that I never thought I could do before. And even if it meant tiring myself out, I am happy and I will always help him carry his burdens every step of the way.

新的冷笑話 巧克力糖 開始 為你收藏 最近連睡覺 手機也在手上

To make him happy, I'll get the things and food that he loves. To always be there for him when he's not there beside me, I go to sleep with my handphone clasped in the palm of my hand.

幻想著未來 滿頭白髮 公園 的長椅上 你也許會說 一聲謝謝我
如果這一生 到盡頭 換你這句話 很足夠

There's nothing I really want in return for all that I am doing. Even a simple thank you satisfies me, and just as seeing him happy also makes me happy in return. Life can be as simple as this.


Maybe Ashin really does knows what he's talking about in his lyrics. Or maybe its a story he imagined that happened to be mine. There is no complexity in this song - its melody, lyrics nor arrangment. It not only speaks to me, I feel that I am speaking for it.

I hope I didn't raise the goosebumps of those reading my blog :). But I'm sure that there are others out there whose own life stories fit into this one that Ashin has drawn, and maybe his own too?

Oops I did it again!

I know I'm a bad kid. I don't look bad, but trust me, I am.

Today I had a free meal, a free sushi meal.. that of course was legal (its true!), given the food voucher that we had. But I had to pay nothing despite the meal costing over the voucher's amount :P. The weird auntie with the 2 ponytails forgot to count in our extra order... so we had a curry oyako don on the house! Serious I didn't realise it until I walked out of the restaurant. We both wondered why we tallyed the total amount wrongly on our own earlier on and thought we had to pay the balance amount hahah. Of course, when we didn't have to, we walked away quickly at that instant of realisation!

This then made me remember the time when I cheated (hmm, cheat is a little harsh...) a particular restaurant that I now don't go to anymore, of a cheesecake. Once again, we just didn't mean to. The waiter just forgot to add it into the tab. That time too, we just walked away as quick as we could hehe.

I somehow think that there's a deviant child in every one of us. The excitement and pulsating fear of doing something wrong without other's realising and it seems to be alright because it was not done on purpose. It was something that happened out of the other person's mistake. Maybe thats why some people just steal for the thrill of stealing.

This is not the end of it of course. There was the time when I went to karaoke with another 3 friends and we only had to pay for 2 pple because of the waiter's mistake in billing. Or the time when a certain refund of a cd and then buying it back as on open copy saved me 90cts, thanks to some friends of mine haha.

All these boil down to dishonesty in a way. Its a bad thing to do but there is a thrill in it. I think it lives deep in everyone of us. We just have to think hard into our lives to realise how we are guilty of such little actions ourselves, usually as a result of other pple's mistakes.

It is human to seek the excitment of doing harmless wrong, as much as it is human to make mistakes.

Hmm, so I guess I do deserve the retribution of having to pay an extra 16.90 or 18.90 for a singapore version of Mayday's album... :(

The long and winding road

Everyday I dream. A dream of hoping to do music with a bunch of great friends... yup, just like Mayday. I dream of being able to live, breathe, eat, drink, talk, sleep, walk, jump, and even be music itself. I want to bring music to others, I want to drown in the beauty and the serenity, the drive and the power, the bizarre and explosiveness of music. What is it about music that captivates me? I have no idea really. But its music that makes me for who I am.

Maybe I'm just greedy. I've got chances to sing solo and conduct at church but I want more, much more. I want to bring my music to more people. And again, just like Mayday, touch the hearts of many people, bringing about meaning to their lives and my own life. I don't wanna be a superstar, I can't even imagine myself to be one and I doubt I'm even close to the template of one anyway! :P

After having tried working days and nights in the studio with a bunch of pple who love music and are there to do music (even though I haven't stepped into the studio for a long time, because it gets more pathetic the longer I stay there), it made me even hungrier for a life like Mayday's. To just enclose myself someplace experimenting with music and to suddenly step out to the world with something I can be proud of.

But I want to do this with friends who can stick with me in this crazy drive towards making music. Maybe that was what made me relunctant to go for the 2nd audition at muchuan when my good friend and best singing partner didn't make it through the 1st round. Subconsciously and in fact very consciously, I could only envision myself singing there, if she was there with me. Just like how we joined the choir together. I guess I'm just too much a person who can't live or exist without friends around me, especially in this journey of music.

Mayday has talked about dreams alot in their songs and I significantly remember that they said their drive was to achieve something before they turned 24, like Luo Da You. That sparked something in me and made me finally go take up audio engineering. It wasn't a course I really wanted but it was to me, a different path and a possibility of leading me somewhere that I may want to go.

Through this journey, I've met more pple involved in the industry and its helped me see things better. I know now that all I need is to put in more effort. I just need to finish all my unfinished songs. I need that determination and a greater belief in myself that I actually can complete a song. Maybe I'm finding an excuse for myself, but if I had a band, it would help so much... then I wouldn't be just stuck with melodies.

So much that I want to do, so little energy. Is it because I'm really trying to do too much? Should I just be less greedy?

Listening to Mayday always gives me mixed feelings. The happiness and joy of hearing them create great music and as a representative that dreams can come true and on the other hand, a disappointment and dismay that comes upon realising that they have moved forward while I have not, even though I'll think I have already tried so hard.

I know dreams can come true, I just have to keep believing no matter how many obstacles I meet and how long it takes! All I'm afraid of is the misty road ahead of me when I finish this course, afraid that I'll be stuck in a dead-end job just to earn that important $$. But even if I do, I hope that my love and passion for music never dies with it no matter what.

For now, I just have to start by completing my first song!

If I have really tried, at the end of the day, at least I can still say 最後沒成功 也作過最美的夢

Play on!

Listening to Mayday's album (mp3 though, coz i'm still waiting for my album to arrive from taiwan), through my very best investment so far, my Sony MDR 7506 headphones. And everything sounds so fantastic! Lucky for me, its all VBR mp3s, so I'm hearing what I'm still meant to hear, and I do hear Mayday's effort within it, especially all the super fantastic drum sounds that I'll never be able to get with the 2 broken drumsets and very sad studio setting in school. The very best that I can get would be what I got in my gorbachev recording, and that was really by pure luck, everything just sounded so good that day :).

I'm sticking to listening now through my headphones, so I can really hear what all the effort that Mayday has put in to getting the right sound for each song, the true bandsound and the warmness of all the recordings. I definitely hear it more than on my failing and ailing creative speakers. had suspected that it was the remote control was falling apart but seems that its the speakers coz my headphones plugged to the control doesn't have the same problem. I should love to get some real monitors soon then blast Mayday out loud on them. haha that will be the life. But happy with my little investment so far.

How I wish I could own a manual with all of Mayday's recording methods, song writing and band arrangment methods. How I wish... but which band would give away their secrets readily? How I wish too... that I could work there in the studio with them, to know what they do in order to get such sounds and what goes into discussions with regards to instrumentation. They aren't just great people, they are great musicians and also great engineers.

It is just no wonder that I love them so much. Gonna listen with greater scrutiny at this album that is just suddenly not the usual Mayday that I recognise. It seems that they are suddenly shouting out loud to everyone that they are a really a band which has got it all, that they do not depend on just one person to keep the band alive. It comes just when discussions of Ashin going solo have surfaced and many have began to take for granted that the sound of songs written by Ashin are the defining elements of how Mayday should sound. It is sure to make many wonder at a first listening if what they hear is really Mayday. It is bound to throw many off balance. It is truly experimental. It is truly the Mayday spirit of music making. And I love it!

Right now, I'm totally in love with all the different drum sounds in each song that I so wish to recreate.....

There's a danger in loving somebody too much

Out of love for them, I have gone through so much, given up some things and found others, but one thing's for sure, for them, I have lost a lot of money just throughout these 4 over years.

I've got every single one of their cds and vcds/dvds (except 1 or 2 foreign compilations)

I've also gone through the effort of hunting down local and taiwan auctions for all their posters (with the exception of advertisement posters) and having them shipped to me, only to sit quietly as a poster collection in my dark closet, in the hope of seeing daylight someday when I own my own house and can afford to have them all displayed.

I've got their 2nd album to 5th album and also concert Tshirts, and a number of different merchandises along the way. Was more stupid in the past so I bought more useless stuff last time and these days, I only buy tshirts :P, which are wearable (you can't eat keychains or wear a musicbox anyway).

For them, I've purchased tickets to their concerts, flown to Taiwan to attend their concert, spent money on taxis to and from the airport to see them off. I've even dug out money to pay for a webspace and then put in work tirelessly for free, creating and maintaining a website for them that they probably may not even know about.

I've even been cheated before, buying a cd in the hope of getting a poster only to be given a slip of paper and told that it could be exchanged for the poster after a certain time. But after that certain time, the slip of paper was not a sure exchange, it was based on a self-deteremined limit to the number of posters given. This particular record store at PS has since closed its doors but eventually opened again at a different level.

Then I've been cheated again when I bought merchandise online and one of it got lost because of the very conincidental typhoon that hit taiwan at that period and affected the ordering systems while flooding the warehouses. I never got that piece of merchandise till today even after querying a number of times.

Whoever said love was smooth sailing? i just know that love is blind, and its just so so true..

Just a few days ago, I realise that because of these 5 pple whom I love so much, I am to become a victim of capitalism once again. I'm choosing right now not to be, but I don't know how long I can resist the system. They can simply just choose to ignore my mail and not respond, by then I'll be really left with no choice but to fall prey to their intentions and hand over my precious hard earned money obediently.

I'm trying hard not to succumb because this time, it is simply too much. To begin with, there isn't much logic in owning 2 same albums, simply of different versions. I'm not gonna play one on my hi-fi and the other on my computer then synchronize the moment both start playing, just for that stereo effect. Its that twisted capitalist logic once again.

They believe that they are providing something of greater value and we, the proletariats who have no control over the entire production system, have to bow down to this belief too. All just coz, we wanna be closer up with this very fantastic band. But then again, if they weren't under this company, any other record company would utilize other money making tactics, whether or not we like it.

Yes, the record company is the king, but it doesn't mean that consumers should just be taken for suckers. They put in the big bucks and take the biggest risks when signing up artistes, but isn't the money of consumers also earned through hard work? Put on a weighing scale of practicality, effort definitely does not outweigh the value of risk; but put on a weighin scale of rationality, risk and effort certainly balance out - one is not inferior to the other.

I don't know how this war will turn out. I love email wars but then this time I've already lost half the battle coz the darn company doesn't have an email address. I'm not a phone person, I'll never win by talking verbally. I'll just have to hope that they receive the fax and email back! At least I'll still have more of a chance then.

Its not just raining bananas, but I'm going bananas~~~

Five is such a wonderful number

At this moment, at the dawn of 5th November 2004, marks the release of Mayday's 5th anniversary and 5th album in their career. Nothing can really describe how I'm feeling right now, especially after hearing Mayday's radio interview and a preview of all their new songs! Everytime I hear a new song by Mayday, there is just a feeling of joy inside my heart, a very simple kind of joy.

To some, this is just some crazy fan blogging about her idol, crazy about chasing after some guys. But Mayday is not just a regular bunch of guys, they are a bunch of serious musicians, dedicated towards making music, friendly and warm, a very good bunch of friends, and always striving to make music that touches the hearts of others. It has managed to touch my heart for sure.

You just have to listen hard to their music and their lyrics to know that their music encourages while it urges you to keep believing in your own dreams. At the same time, it speaks aloud the hearts of everyone of us, acting as our spokespersons.

Throughout these 4 years plus, Mayday has done so much for me. It doesn't really matter if they really know who I am or how much they have done for me, I just want to show them someday when I achieve my dreams that their dedication towards music has rubbed off on me. I want to make them proud, as much as I want to make myself proud. I will do my best too... as I have decided, I will form a band no matter what, after I graduate. How could I not, with such a good role model like Mayday?

Truly, five has become a special number for me ever since I got to know about Mayday and they have become such an important part of my life. I am very glad that they have become a part of my life too, because they have made it so much happier and made me feel so blessed :)

I won't say that I will support Mayday forever, because, what is forever? I will simply support them for as long as I can and as long as they are there, constantly trying to produce good music, constantly putting their best into what they do best. After all, it is because of Mayday, that I have come to become a strong believer that dreams can and do come true, so long as you keep believing and keep striving, not afraid to fall. Dreams do have wings, let them take off from this night on...

Inhumane Humane

Sometimes, it can be real saddening when reading or watching the news in the world or just around us each day. The cruelty, the violence, the lack of sympathy, the lack of conscience, or rather, inhumanity.

Its really ironic that the word inhumanity comes from the word human, because it is the human who is commiting such inhumane acts. If so, what is human then? I believe, it is not about being humane or inhumane, its about emotions and love. If everyone can see another person as though he/she is the son/daughter or father/mother or brother/sister or husband/wife or even the best friend of somebody else, just like the very person who is commiting the cruel act, he would realise too that his victim is very much as human and as fragile and as significant as he is.

No one is really less important than another person.

In reality, we are all the same. Just varying in skin colour, gender, language, body size, religion, culture, history and beliefs. The list goes on, but it should be clear that categories like race, country and social class are not inherent differences but differences that man himself has created. These have sadly caused greater delineation to the human species and resulted in the many wars and violence that we see in the world today.

We often criticize ancient societies for being uncivilized in the way that human sacrifice was practiced or for the cruelty of slavetrade. But, I'll have to say that human society simply hasn't changed much or evolved psychologically since then. For aren't we still as uncivilised as before? I'll have to apologize to Mr Darwin here.

Don't we all know about WWII and its atrocities? (which I have just commented on in the visual-journal) Don't we see the killings of hostages taking place in Iraq as though it were a daily ritual? Haven't we read about the recent illtreatment of detainees in Thailand suffocating to death because they were stacked as though they were sheets of paper? Didn't we also hear about how Huang Na died a very tragic death being cramped into a box less than half her body size?

How then dare we say that we are civilised?

Of course, I may say that I am, just as you yourself might. Because I was not part of all these. But then again, we are all responsible for how the world is because we all exist as part of a society. Truly, no man is an island. And no man should play God as well.

Well put by a Discovery Channel trailer I saw yesterday for a documentary on Flight 11 (the fateful flight which crashed into the 1st twin tower),

"The most terrifying weapon is not man-made, but man himself"

I want a band!

Everytime I listen to bands play, there is just an itch inside me. Yes, this song is great to jam, that song would be fantastic to have a band to sing to, but I have NO BAND...

The closest I've come to actually forming a band was last year, when my dear drummer friend and classmate Ryan asked me to go look for guitarists and bassists, which I did through forums and irc (it wasn't easy to find pple who were influenced by Mayday =P), but had to tell them to wait because we were towards the end of our diploma and the workload was heavy.

The best part was, he went back to Malaysia without continuing with the degree, so with him gone, there goes my possible band. Maybe this band is just not meant to be...

The next possible band, is my pact with yingshan to form an all girls mayday influenced band. haha but I have no idea where to find the guitarists nor the bassist. I'm just hoping that in time to come, it will all just come together. Maybe I haven't really tried hard enough yet, just maybe... maybe because this is Singapore, where Mayday is less hot than in Taiwan, it explains why its so hard for me to get a band together all this while.

So OK, here's an advertisement (hehehe)


CALLING FOR GUITARIST & BASSIST
- if you are a girl (or guy who doesn't mind being in a band with more girls)
- if you listen to both english and chinese pop/rock/blues/r&b (anything but heavy metal)
- if you are also inspired by Mayday's music
- if you just want to jam & you love music
Then just leave me a message here :)


Nic, come sign up as my bassist!! hahaha, go take your bass lessons! =P

Man's best friend

Its a title that we are all so familiar with, a title that we have attributed to a very special animal called a dog. So many times I watch on tv about how dogs save the lives of their owners, how they may have jobs that are often of such help to us and how they are simply faithful, true companions who do not talk back (except bark), who do not judge us nor turn away from us when we need them most.

Of course, everyone who knows me now, knows I love dogs haha.
It might be surprising to some people, but I used to be very afraid of dogs =P. When I was maybe 7 years old , I ran into my house's toilet to hide when my neighbour's little sized dog came running into our house. I don't really know what dispelled my fear of dogs either. It was probably my mum's beautiful stories of her faithful and brave dog, Rover, who was a black crossbreed. I remember the photo she showed me, the only photo she ever had of him.

This was a dog who would run out into the dark, to greet my mum when she was on her way back to her kampong and he would be there to protect her during that great distance and dangerous path. He was my mum's best friend. They had other dogs too in the kampong but Rover was the most attached to her. His life was happy but it ended in a very cruel way. He was just doing what he had to do, protect the territory of his owners...when my mum's neighbours came to steal fruits from their garden, they poured the poor dog with scalding hot water to get him out of the way. That was how his life ended. I know my mum must have felt so greived.

But it was Rover's heroism that has him etched in my memory and possibly changed my whole idea about what dogs were like. That was when I asked my mum to get me a dog, a docile, gentle white female crossbreed puppy, called Jessie =D. She was the most faithful friend to me, always by my side when I was happy or sad. When I cried, she seemed to understand because she would be quiet too. She taught me that from then on, my life would be one that would only exist with dogs.

Jessie was about 7 when Snowie came along. We took her in because she had been passed on from family to family for almost 4 times and she was only 1 year old. She was a special dog but the possible abuses of her puppyhoood were rather evident too. We wanted to give her a happy life despite her weird habits and behaviourism but it did not last long too. She was too fragile, we wondered why she was always so small. She died of a slip disc problem. I remember that heartbreaking day. Yup, it was exactly 4 years ago from today.

That was the first time i felt the pain of losing my dog. It took a while to get over the grief and I even thought I would never have another dog again, because it was too much to bear to have to see your dog go. That was when it started to feel quite empty around the house, even though Jessie was still around. We decided this time to get a tougher dog, one that could withstand jumps and falls better, so that history would not repeat itself. The answer, was a schnaunzer, and we found pepper, the craziest wildest dog I've ever had =)

Jessie left us last year of old age (she was 14 years old) and now I still have Pepper but something in me still feels an emptiness since she left. It seems to be a cycle... the pain is great and the memories of my previous dogs are never erasable but I know, I will never be able to live without dogs. I will have another dog, but probably not now because my workload is too much for me to care for a young puppy.

Each time you care for a puppy, you relive the joy of watching it grow up, learning new tricks, learning its name and where it belongs. And you also bask in the joy of feeling them love you more and more day after day.

I can never imagine a house to return to, without a faithful friend greeting me with a happy smile no matter how bad my day may have been. Nor can I imagine an empty house with no one else around. Neither can I imagine not having someone to hug and have by my side at any time I need most.

Dogs are truly our bestest of best friends. If you have a dog, you will understand what I mean =)

Food.. er.. Sleep for the Brain - 011104

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation. ~Author Unknown


Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. ~Author Unknown

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake. ~Author Unknown

(this is me right now hahah)

Sleeplessness is a desert without vegetation or inhabitants. ~Jessamyn West

Found these, coz I want to sleep but can't go sleep! :~(
http://www.quotegarden.com/sleep.html

The Assignment Song

左手redbull 右手twisties
Trying hard to finish my work



(thanks to Masa for the inspiration for this song hehehe)
thats all for today hahaha... coz I really have to continue typing my work.. writing abt a lame tv programme i thought of =P, I will blog again tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, its only a day away!! Tomorrow and I'll be one assignment down.
(I'm absolutely cranky when deadlines come ~~~~~~)