get this!

I mean we all know that the prices of food ranges from place to place, just as any item on sale. And in particular, food from any convenience store always costs more than it does from a supermarket.

Due to my obsession with twisties, this is what I have observed....
a sudden inflation (pretty exaggerating..) of prices at various places.

The best place to buy twisties is of course at NTUC where it simply costs $1 (and if you didn't know, they do taste crispier too haha).

Then there's the mamashop at the mrt station, which charges $1.20 per packet. Well, still not too bad...

A packet of twisties placed in a convenience store seems to have elavated status as compared to its compatriot placed in a supermarket. Because it costs $1.55 at the 7-11 near my house. Buying 2 packets from here, means I could get 3 packets from NTUC! and have 10cents left over.

As if that isn't expensive enough... the winner of all inflations is.... (*drumroll*) the 7-11 at the mrt station!! Guess how much??

A whopping $1.80. Yes, just add 20 cents and I can get 2 packets from NTUC. It certainly killed my temptation for twisties when I saw the price. (But probably good for me, coz it keeps me from snacking haha).

Well, the whole point of this, isn't truly about twisties. but as they say, Caveat Emptor (buyer beware)... know what you are buying and what you are being charged for. Yes, even if its just a mundane packet of junk food.

Very soon, there'll be an increase in the price of coffee. So will everyone turn to coke instead?

4 days for 2 pieces of A2 boards

Today, as he showed me the pieces of his work he had finally printed out and mounted nicely on compressed boards, I couldn't help feeling tempted to ask, "Is this all?" Considering the fact that we spent days.. nights, and 4 consecutive days of intensive work on finishing it up. And all it boils down to are these 2 pieces of A2 boards.

But ain't it all the same for university? You go through 3 or 4.. some 5 to 6 years of slogging, pressure, intense competition, stress and at times depression or loss, just to finally hold on to one tangible piece of A4 or if you are lucky, A3 paper (laminated). Just to make yourself feel better, you would of course glorify that piece of paper by framing it on the most expensive acrylic or wooden plates. W

Well, then again, we can start a whole new arguement on how studying should be more for a learning experience and not just a paper chase... but its not what I'm going to carry on about here =)

In the last 4 days, admist trying to do up his work, I arranged with hx and yj to transform my room into our mini jamming place. Wouldn't call it a studio because its totally lack of equipment. We wanted to go buy new amps but things cropped up, and we just made do with yj's cute toaster amp for hx, while she lugged her own bass and amp over, and I just made do with my acoustic.

So we gathered around my computer, turned on gtp for the drums, and played along. It made me feel like we were that 3 person band without a drummer all of a sudden =P (that I don't wanna be). How I wish, we can find a new and suitable drummer. Nothing beats live drums really.... but if we were to wait for that right drummer to come along, we'll never move ahead. Is there any commited drummer out there?!?!

Now with 3, we work better and more efficiently. Soon, we'll get new amps (with a bit of strain on the pocket...) but it will definitely be better than constantly trying to book jamming studios. Got the new song going a little. Hope we can keep it going.

Another weird thing that happened... I don't know if I should have told the guy what my job is. So now he keeps msging me, asking me about what I studied, how he should go about gaining experience in this field and even asking when he can come see my workplace. Of course, I just told him that there ain't much to see there haha.

SH said I should be careful.. but I seriously think that the guy is so eager because he's keen on trying to get into this field more than any other thoughts that SH is imagining (I never do think that highly of myself).

But I'll have to admit, each time he msgs me, I do get a little scared... why msg me goodnight when i just sign onto msn (which of course I didn't reply)? Maybe he just doesn't have many friends? Maybe he just hasn't met someone who has done a course that he is interested in doing? Maybe I should learn from yj, and start using my 'block' function on msn... =P

A slow start

There hasn't been alot for me to do since I started working, because renovations are still going on. I kinda like it easy going, yet I somehow wish it can be busy like how it was in my previous company (rushing here and there, in and out of the office). I believe things will pick up eventually, otherwise why would they even bother hiring me?

But, some interesting things did happen among the mundane =)

2 days ago, I was handed a printed email to handle some matters, and as I read through it and reached the end of the page... it was signed off by a very familiar name starting with the letter P. Curious, I looked towards the email and it was truly just as I expected... a company name that I couldn't have ever been more than familiar with.

Who was to know that when she called the next day, I would pick up the phone to speak to her. If only she knows who I am hahah... but I shall remain a mystery for the time being. I knew we would cross paths one day and this is only the beginning.

And if you didn't know, shredding old company documents can be a very informative learning experience, especially if you look at what you are holding before you shred it! They certainly have tons of history in those files, that are finally to be thrown away. But in the process, I've seen the projects they've handled in the past (many familiar to me from childhood), the people they've worked with in the past (even my previous company.. heh heh) and even a CV from a friend of mine to the company 7 years ago!

Yesterday, just to escape from all the paper shredding for a while, I went off with my colleague to play the piano.. (more of watching him play the piano, because I totally suck compared to him). And he played me his new composition, which really impressed me.

It later inspired me to pick up on my song writing, which I did when I came home, and now I do have a new song! but yj, I'm depending on you for the lyrics =P. Its made me quite resolved that I should keep up on composing, whether or not the song is good, or whether or not I can fill in lyrics myself, and whether or not yj can keep up with the lyrics filling hahah. I shall just keep on writing...

There'll be a project coming up if things fall through with the guy who was planned to release his stuff in april. Then, there will definitely be more exciting things to do and observe for me. I want to be busy.. I want to feel like I can contribute more to the company.

But I'm already pretty happy now for all the nice and funny people working around me =)

oh yeah, all the bosses are away... next week will be fun heh heh heh

Have you ever wondered?

When you get onto the backseat of a cab at night, and you can't really see the driver's face. I mean of course you can't see if he/she doesn't turn back to look at you (which most of them don't do), have you ever fallen into the dilemma of whether to speak in mandarin or english?

Then do you start to look for tell tale signs, like trying to squint through the darkness at the driver (not too obviously of course, otherwise he'll think you're either trying to size him up or making eyes at him) to try and guess his racial group.

And if you really can't figure it out, you'll try looking at the driver's name plate. It becomes easy when the plate has 1 name or 2 names of the same racial group. But what if the 2 names are different? That'll be a challenge. But then at times.. although the name is maybe of that of a Malay, but then the driver may look a little Chinese from behind.. then you start to wonder if this is really the driver registered for the cab. I think too much? Ya, I think so!

Well if all that doesn't work, you try for the last method of identifying if the driver understands english or mandarin. If you haven't guessed it till now, its the radio channel! But then again, it confuses you when you see a Chinese name on the plate but he's listening to english songs. But then again, if he's listening to english songs, means using english is fine =D

Is it just me, or does anybody also wonder about stuff like these too?

...

what's scarier than physical abuse?

emotional and verbal abuse....
why am I always so dumb? whats the point of giving almost everything i have?

i never ask for material things, but can't I at least have gentle words and kindness?


Torn (Natalie Imbruglia)

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn’t be that man I adored
You don’t seem to know, don’t seem to care what your heart is for
But I don’t know him anymore

There’s nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That’s what’s going on, nothing’s fine I’m torn

I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something realI
’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You’re a little late, I’m already torn

So I guess the fortune teller’s right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now

I don’t care, I have no luck,
I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things that
I can’t touch, I’m torn

Today

so many things to blog about within one day

but i'll do it with one huff.. and a puff (hahah, yeah yeah.. i'm being stupid again but excuse me, because it happens when my brain feels tired).

ok! what happened today? lets start backwards shall we?

STORY ONE

As I was walking home, I caught sight of something I see quite often... a man walking his dog on a leash. A collie (the lassie type of dog). What's special about this? Its because I see them quite often downstairs and each time, I would pat the dog and smile at the owner.

But its not just one collie, it was always 2 collies - one younger, more agile and with a glint in its eyes; the other one older, slower and walks with a slight limp. Today and another day sometime back, I only saw one collie with the man. It was the younger one left.

What happened to the older one? Why was the younger one on a leash now, when the 2 dogs used to roam freely in the past?

To decipher this, we have to go back to a day before cny when I came home. It was like any other night, and I saw the older collie near the lift. It wasn't anything weird because they do hang around the lift area at times. I approached to give it a pat as it looked at me. It then dawned on me that things felt a little odd.. because I didn't see the younger collie nor its owner nearby, as they usually would. Although at times, the older collie would be left trailing behind because it couldn't move as fast. And so.. I thought that it was the same case right now.

So I headed into the lift and pressed the 'close' button. That was when the older collie tried to also come into the lift. But the door closed just before he was able to poke his nose in. At that moment, I so wished I pressed the 'open' button to wait around to see if its owner would come by. But, I didn't..........

I came back home and told my parents about the older collie. They too are familiar with these 2 dogs of our block. Thats when dad told me, one of the collie is missing. I had the shock of my life to hear that, then I began an anxious inquiry about which one and how he knew about it.. but didn't get very concrete answers. I was really worried by then... afraid that the dog I saw, was the one that had gone missing.

I decided to head back downstairs, together wtih pepper, to look around for the older collie. But as I scanned the area, I didn't see it around anymore. I truly regretted not opening the lift door to just spend some time waiting with it. All I could wish for, was that it had found its way back to its owner.

But this scene bothers me each time I see the man and his younger collie taking walks, ever since this incident. I wish I know what happened to the dog.. but yet, i'm afraid to know. If something bad happened to it, I don't think I can ever forgive myself for closing the door on that sweet dog. I truthfully just hope... that I'm thinking too much.


STORY TWO

Today, we tried things out with a new drummer, a guy, who's younger than all of us. My old band.. yeah, we've decided to go our separate ways for the better of everyone.

Things were a little unstable. He was unfamiliar with the songs but could tell that he was seriously trying hard and I give him credit for that. Quiet guy, and nice too.. he even said sorry for not playing well. But we want more than just a nice drummer.. we want one who is steady enough and committed as well.

Oh yeah, I'm trying to take on the rhythm guitar while singing too.. which is really quite tiring to keep up, especially doing fast rock numbers. But just as I was unable to play the keyboards while singing last time, I believe that it will also be the same on the guitar... it just takes time and practice.

And one more thing... sheer determination.

But now, we need the luck to find the right drummer. If it does come through, then we can consider having another guitarist.


STORY THREE

At work.. I spent my day shredding paper and fixing the damn shredding machine which is really weak. Until later in the day when I was finally called to help out in laying out cables. How happy I was, because I love to get my hands dirty (not that the paper wasn't dirty) and my butt off the chair.

So happily I went along to the studios. We were then soon on our fours and all sort of weird positions trying to pull and push cables underneath the floor boards into the adjacent rooms. It was nice to see the boss himself also rolling up his pants (leg hair.. eek), sitting on the floor like a kid, pulling cables and smiling so happily.

We kinda thought like we were catching mice under the floor boards. Sticking our hands in and looking under, talking to each other across rooms through the holes in the floors. It was fun.. I'll probably never have the chance to see a studio setup from scratch again soon.

Wished I could stay on to help when they took a break for dinner. but had to go off for jamming, so my boss had to let me off =P

And yeah, I like my boss. Quirky fellow with weird thoughts and plans in his mind. I even banged his car door on the railing when we went out for lunch haha, but its a good thing it wasn't scratched, otherwise my pay would be gone. The other bosses are nice too, just that they aren't as quirky. One of them went out to get me a new computer today and the other bought us fruits.

The people are all really fun to be with... corny and always laughing all the time. Alot like my old company, yet less tensed up. I hope this feeling lasts. But I also hope for more responsibilities to come my way.

Can I become what I wanted to become years ago when people asked me what I wanted to do in the future? I never thought that it might even be minutely possible... but its not entirely impossible too, now that I have stepped into this line.

what the future holds, I really don't know. But I'm waiting to embrace whatever comes.

Da Niu has gone back to the land of the cows

It didn't feel as though he had been back for so long, but i was glad i was jobless at some time during that period, to be able to have had more time to interact with him.

as he walked past the immigration and waved goodbye to us, my aunt, uncle and his friends, I didn't feel a sadness. it was as though he was going out and he'll be back again eventually, like he does when he goes out every other day.

but the realisation dawned on me, as i was in the shower just now. weird place you must think... to suddenly miss my brother. but its the bathroom that he always nags at me about.. not to make the floor all wet or leave my clothes inside, or that i shower with water that is too hot, steaming up all the mirrors. i realised, that the bathroom was all mine to use once again, that i didn't have to share it or wait for him to finish using it on sundays when we prepared to go to church. but it wasn't a realisation of 'yay, i get a bathroom all to myself!'... it wasn't.

pep will definitey be scratching on his door thinking that he's hiding inside as usual. i know she'll miss him as well.

how can i not miss a brother who is always so caring and full of silliness?

2008.. he says he'll be back only then.

but right now, i feel happy too for him because in a while he'll be able to meet da niu sao again, after 2 long months apart. my sweet bro has prepared so many surprises for her =). Just hope they'll be happy there, all else doesn't really matter. after a while, i'll just have to get used to quiet nights again.

we have moved

to my mum's old office, the place which used to be all white and old with its creaky shutter windows but is now totally red and artsy with glass panels covering the once-open air corridoors; where i spent many hours of my childhood sitting in the non airconditioned room, swinging my legs as I sat on the chair (which were still too short to touch the ground) happily chopping away on her official files and documents or fiddling with the old fashioned type writer which I was often fascinated with.. so much so that I'll get my fingers caught in between the
type and have letters printed onto my fingers instead; where I remember making my way into that old building with her, up the dark stairs and always hoping I don't have to use the toilet which was so dark and scary to me.

its a really interesting feeling stepping into that place once again after so many years. its one place that i've been at more than anywhere else in my mum's working life of that industry. its a place that i really feel something for.

maybe its meant to be... this new beginning, back at somewhere that i am so comfortable with, but with a new look and a new feel.

in case anyone is feeling confused. yes, my new company has moved its office now to combine with its subsidiary company. we now occupy about half of the entire floor, so much so that my colleague says we can soon call ourselves a 'corporation' haha. And that new office, just so happens to be where my mum worked at years ago =)

was there at the old office at about 1030am today but knocked on the door and didn't get a response, so off I went to have tea and some toilet business before I went back again at 11am and true enough, I knocked, the door opened.

soon more of them arrived but we had to wait till about 2pm before the movers would come to our office to start moving our stuff. this was because they were moving the other subsidiary company first.... that really took ages. by then, we were already quite 'seh' and sleepy from the waiting.

But when the movers finally came, I walked over to the new office to join Y and SZ where we embarked on another wait for the movers to arrive... which they did in about an hour plus. things happened very fast from there... box after box, item after item, we directed the movers... "first room", "second room", "conference room", "store", "follow her"... and within just 1 and a half hours we were done. talk about effieciency =)

oh yeah, and my new table. its in a corner (the one behind, in the photo).. away from the window but i'll have space to keep the stuff and files that i have taken over. i'm already deciding i should put up some elements of md around, to spur me =P, so long as i don't get killed for doing so.

well, its truly a new beginning, a new career and a new environment.

now that we have 'expanded', i've got to slowly get to know the other colleagues as well from the subsidiary company. i think i'll be happy in this company.. at least the people allow me to believe this for now. always happy to get my hands dirty if they give me the chance to help them setup things. although i've forgotten quite a bit of what i learnt last time, i'll remember as i go along, IF i get the chance to help out.

won't have a computer for a while, so i'll be without msn at work for a couple of days, until they get me a new com =). in the meanwhile, i've got quite a lot of sorting to do.

Looking forward to my new table

We'll be moving on Sunday and I'll be getting my own table at last. Today they were deciding where I should sit, especially since I'll be 'shared' between 2 departments. A window view with less storage space or an aisleside table with more storage?

At the mention of window view, it reminded me of my table at my previous company. One that I really loved because I could look out to greenery =)

This is it...

I miss that view, but I don't miss the work (well maybe part of it, but it was the work that was out of the office that I loved). Neither do I miss the rats that start running above the ceiling boards at 7pm each day... reminder to us not to do OT? =P

I hope my new table at the new office would be a nice place. Coincidentally, its in a building where I spent quite a bit of my childhood at, because my mum worked there hehe and its now refurbished and revamped.

Will take a photo of it when we've settled in =)

The ups and downs of life

At times when you feel despondent, hope comes along.

And it works the other way too.. when you are hopeful and looking forward to things happening, but then you just realise its not really working out the way you hope it will.

I'm not a person who likes to drag things. Just to raise an example.. if the one i love, loves another girl, i'll much rather he let me know, and i'll let him go.

Just as it is now with them... we knew it wasn't really working, chemistry isn't really there, working styles are different, communication levels are different. We tried to make it work of course, through compromise, but too much compromise over time is the ultimate test of patience. And patience has a limit.

Its not that I don't treasure having them, but when things have reached a dead end, its time to leave for another direction. A direction that I've always wanted to head for from the start. Is it that hard and impossible to achieve? Is it hard to find the right people?

I still believe the right people and right things always come along when they should. But I never believe that I should hang on to anything that is dying while waiting for that miracle to happen. Just as I do... for my job hunts. It will be a pity of course to give it up, but all along, I can just feel that things keep going downhill. Commitment isn't really there (maybe i'm guilty of it too.. and so i shouldn't point my fingers around)... but i know that i've always put in lots of effort each time to prepare myself, even though my responsibility seems lighter than what they have.

I want to end it, I really do. It wasn't about being cool anyway. It was about being serious about what we love.

I guess you guys know what I'm talking about. If not, i'm always on msn ;)

And to the curious onlookers, this ain't about my lovelife nor my job. Guess anything else if you want, there's freedom of thought at least, in this little island...

4 more days...

and we'll be moving.. so I've been spending the last 3 days as a full time packer. No wonder he was so happy I could start work this week (*shake head* =P).

but its also a good thing... i'm getting plenty of exercise, stretching here and there, carrying boxes, going up and down the stairs. plus my new diet of reduced carb, hopefully I can cut down on some weight hehe. sorry for digressing from the topic haha... (because I am feeling a little hungry now, just as I have been for the past couple of days since I tried to eat less).

well, as of now there doesn't seem to be much that I have to do (thats supposed to be within my job scope), but i hope things come to me after we move. I'm always more afraid of having nothing to do, rather than being given difficult tasks. Guess I'm impatient too because i hope to be able to learn fast.. and to learn fast, i'll need to have different tasks allocated to me.

feel a little old to be inexperienced in this area, especially when the girl i'm learning from is only turning 21. And my friend who introduced me this job has been in this line for over 10 years.. get this, she's just 29. So, i've got alot of catching up to do. And hopefully learn more than what's within my job scope, so that i'll have the chance to take on other tasks as well in the other departments.

adopting a new lifestyle now.. thats even 'later' (literally) than my previous job. going to work at 11am.. having lunch at 2plus and dinner at 8plus, then sleeping at about 3am. but its a lifestyle closer to my own anyway. I know, i'll never survive working years in a 8am to 5pm job... just having to wake up so early will make me dissatisfied with my job =P

now, for the kaypohs who want to know what we did for vday? what could we do? but our favourite past time... EAT. haha... and since I wanted to cut down on carb.. we went for steamboat near my office. The service was really bad, it was pretty hot.. but the food turned out quite good. Unfortunately when we were happily eating, the entire shop blacked out. Yes.. aircon, fans, lights... were all out, except for the bubbling soup which was powered by the gas stove haha. Wasn't a very nice feeling, and while we were counting down to walking out if the electricity wasn't restored soon... the lights came back on. Then we just hurried to finish up the meal and left. (not a place we would return to anymore)

And so, that was our vday. No flowers, no presents, no vday cliches, not any different from any other day. Why do you need a day to signify anything, when everyday can be special? today, we eat, on vday we eat too, and tomorrow, we still eat! yeah! heheh

first day, first day, today.... at work =)

ok pardon the stupid title, but was quite caught up with listening to "first day" these days =P

i'm sure quite a few people are waiting for me to blog about my first day at work because I've got the same question asked to me many times today already. "How's your first day at work?" These include my ex-manager (who for the first time msged me on msn!) and my new boss who sms-ed me from overseas (it was sweet of him to do so but it also made me feel that I shouldn't skive haha).

So, how are things? In a short summary, its alot to learn, new faces and names to remember, new culture to be part of, and most of all.... refreshing.

For the first time in my life, I'm placed in an all chinese working environment. its a big change, but i'm still able to manage because of all the chinese i've been using all the time because of our dear md. but its going to take me a bit of adjusting to be using my chinese name more than my english name for the sake of making things easy for our overseas counterparts. the last time when everyone called me by my chinese name, was in primary school =_=

didn't have alot to do today, but tried my best to get familiar with things but looking through documents and trying to find out the industry lingo that i've always seen around but never really bothered to find out what they all mean.

the office, its real convenient for me now to get to, but won't be after next week, because we're gonna be shifting office.. well, to somewhere not too far from where we are now. so at the moment, the office is full of boxes, things are messy and i don't really have my own seat. bunking in at my friend's seat now, but hopefully i get my own place at the new office. we'll be moving on sunday, hope i get to go help out because it'll be a good chance for me to gel with the rest of them better.

couldn't help thinking of my old company and excolleagues today too.. miss them, but then i don't regret leaving. if i never left, i wouldn't have found this opportunity to be where i am right now. the industry is small as it is, i know that i'm lucky to have found my way in.

looking forward to actually getting more work to do, so that i can understand the processes better. don't want to disappoint my new boss too when he comes back next week. at least for now, i haven't heard people grumbling about the bosses yet (unlike my previous company)... so lets hope i can stay on for a long period here =)

Stubborn is me

Today, I got attacked 3 ways.. being told
1) Get a proper job with medical benefits, high pay, cpf, bonus (by my dad)
2) Don't regret in future that you won't have enough money (by my bro)
3) That I'm lowering my dignity by taking such low pay (by my mum)

They tried, they really tried to talk me through it all. I know they care, I know they want the best for me. They want me to be able to support myself, and also them in due time. I want to do so as well. But there's only one thing on my mind right now...

I want to live without regrets of not living my dream.

Yes, money is important and so are savings but when an opportunity of a lifetime comes along, wouldn't you pounce on it? Dreams versus dough, I'll choose dreams at any time. When I have that credibility and experience, then can I increase the dough. Its a very silly decision to make, I know.... but I have to take this risk.

If I reach 30, and these risks take me nowhere.. then probably I'll settle in for that 'proper' job my dad would love me to do. But for now, I'm really sorry to them... that I got to stay resolved about what I love to do.

Its hard to convert anyone to understand your passions, so the only way is to prove to them through hard work.

I always have new job pre first day jitters... its not about learning the job.. its about having to meet new people and to blend in. I just want to be happy, thats all I want.

a night to remember

after a few days of tuning and fine tuning of stuff here and there, a little bit of messiness and uncertainty... we have finally successfully pulled the show off, very smoothly i must say.

and there's just one way to describe it. memorable.

Seeing all these people for the past 4 days, has left so many memories in my mind, that I just blank out at times recalling different moments, different things that happen... that I'll even smile to myself.

At times, there have been awkwardness, even frustration or confusion, but there have also been lots of happy and interesting times.

Getting to work with and observe the 2 main people behind so much that I grew up with, has already been really wonderful to me. what else can i ask for?

Then finally got to meet her as well.. sweet person. But too bad, it was short =P.

And as usual, my favourite.. ahlian hehe.. always very nice to me.

i love doing this job (without the other 'office' responsibilities) and i'll still want to keep doing it. Although J says that this will be my last.. because i probably wouldn't have time to come back to help her out anymore, I hope it won't be. There's nothing like doing a job like this... that gives you such a satisfaction after everything is completed.

It was sweet of her to toast me with champagne, despite her being a slave driver at work.. i've always known that she's really a great person by nature. i know i'll have more opportunities with them, so long as i maintain good relations.. and who knows, that one day will come when i finally get to meet the ones i've always been dreaming to meet =). when that day comes, i'll look for her to ask for work to do, before she even asks me hehe.

i love working with these guys. i hope my new colleagues would be a great bunch too.

Monday.... just 2 days away and i'll find out.

how did i get here?

i wish i could just blog every detail of what happened in my job with M. Everything I did, every person I met, and especially this show that I'm doing now. People I'll never ever imagine meeting, I met in the last 3 days. One more whom I'll love to meet, I'll get to meet tomorrow =).

i have my reasons for not writing all these out. I prefer not to let the world know every vivid detail of my life or my job. Because there really isn't much of a need to. But those I'm close to, you'll know ;)

but having seen what i have, having done what i have, having experienced what i have, and having met so many people (from all walks of life, all professions, and many whom i admire)... i really appreciate all the opportunities that i have been given all this while.

i'll never deny that working with them has been great for me.
how did i get there? just a passion that took me somewhere, and met someone who then helped me. and in that company, i got to know another person who helped me to get my new job now.
this is what i call networking... its really so important.

i know i'm not PR enough at times, but i'll prefer not to be.. because i simply don't know how to be overly PR, unless I get to be more familiar with the person, or if I know that the person is super nice and easy for me to feel comfortable with.

i don't know if i regret not staying to coordinate this project, because it would have built me a stronger network. but then, if i didn't leave, i wouldn't have gotten to the next step of finding a job ever closer to my passion. you can never have the best of every world.

right now, i'm already having the best of 2 worlds. freelancing for my previous company, doing the best project we have ever done since I joined & waiting to start work at the new company on monday.

won't put too much expectations into the new job and i'll rather not try to imagine where it will take me because overexpectations only lead to disappointment. Shall take things as they come and be happy every step of the way =)

how the tides change

its really amazing what surprises life can bring. And just last night I was telling myself.. maybe there's a reason for all these happening (or rather not happening).

today felt like a dream. from the phonecall i received this morning from Y, asking if I was interested in becoming her colleague. Instantly, I asked her if she was sure.. because previously i interviewd for a subsidiory of her company but it wasn't suitable, so I didn't get the job. But this time, its closer to the type of work I would love to do.

Even more than the stupid pr one i tried for. Why the heck did I apply for 2 pr jobs anyway? Well, I never got them.. but I managed to get this one today =). And so, here I announce that I am back into the employed world once again!

2 jobs i applied with resume and proper certs, I dressed properly, went for proper interviews, and they never fell through.

2 jobs i got to know about through recommendations..
- the 1st one only saw my resume, never looked at my certs, didn't talk to me face to face, no interview, and asked me to start work right away outside of the office. This was the job that i gave up.
- the 2nd one, never asked me for resume or certs, only got me to fill in a brief form with my particulars, asked me to write some answers in chinese, did some IQ tests (very hmm right? haha but I liked it because its a boss with a difference) after chatting with me, asked me when I could start work. This is the job I got today.

I got jobs when I was just being me. I can never get through formal situations somehow, because I always fail to be truly myself.

Today, I put my trust in Him to help me. And He helped me succeed. I know I shouldn't have doubted Him in the past.. but today before I stepped out of the house, I reminded myself of my favourite quote. "The will of God will not take you where the grace of God cannot keep you". Thank you God =). Thank you...

Also, for the very wonderful show that I am doing right now. Friday night will be a blast!

shutting out unhappy thoughts

and now, just focusing on happy ones.

today was really interesting and it was great to be able to observe such talented people. although i didn't have much to do today, and felt more like a flower pot. But still, I did enjoy myself and i'm glad for this opportunity to come back to do this event, even though i've already left.

tomorrow will be another interesting day i'm sure =)

being there, it always makes me feel confident of myself. Knowing that there are people who trust me and believe in my capabilities. its even made me wonder if i should go back. but then... is that really what i want?

which other place is there, who confidently takes me in without interviewing, having full belief in what I can do for them?

which other place gives me responsibilities so huge that I sometimes don't even believe i can pull it off, but eventually i do?

I wish I can find another place like this. I don't hope to go back.. beacuse of the same reasons that I left. Yet, I feel comfortable with these people, because they are able to put their full trust in me.

I just want to be me. Me as I am...

Shall not think too much for now, but I will just have fun till the show this Friday. I'm sure it will be a fantastic one. And its just great getting to meet all these people =)... truly a melting pot of talent.

my wishlist

was compiling our repertoire and going through the many tabs that i love to dl when i have nothing better to do...

And this is my current list of songs that I would really love to have us play =)

MD - 雌雄同體 (soon to be fulfilled.. i hope)
MD - 花
MD - 愛情萬歲
MD - 終結孤單
MD - 燕尾蝶 (how I wish...hopefully by then we'll be good enough to figure it out)
MD - 亂世浮生 (how I wish too...)
MD - everything else hehe
Ah Yue - 愛的初體驗
Ah Yue - 愛我別走
Amei - Bad Boy (just because the tabs sounds so good.. heh)
Beyond - 光輝歲月
U2 - with or without you
Oasis - stand by me
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Wishing out loud here =P.

Singlish

Proud or ashamed?

This is a topic that has already been overdebated, overdiscussed, yet highly overlooked. So much so that its been taken as a safety net to encompass laziness, distorted creativity and without a clear idea of what is right anymore.

Singlish isn't wrong. I never felt it was.. its our most comfortable way of speaking and it represents a mix of languages and dialects, not possible in any other country. Nothing is wrong unless it is measured up to a 'standard'.

But the very fact that we call it 'singlish'.. it does mean that the origin still lies very much in the english language. Unless it is a language of our very own, somewhat like korean or japanese, then can we say that we shouldn't try to compare singlish to standard english.

Here's how wikipedia defines it
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singlish

Singaporeans have so often been laughed at for speaking and writing bad english. True, we are free and simply not wrong to speak singlish as we like in our daily lives, but we do not live as frogs in a well. We live as part of a larger world - a world where there is something called standard english.

We have been taught to be proud of our own language. And truly, that has been the way for quite a while now. However, it has become the excuse for another type of language that I'll prefer to call, 'bad singlish' - where new spellings for words are invented, where grammar is incomprehensible, where everything is shortchanged.

I'm seeing new inventions almost everyday. Yes, the government would love for us to be more creative, but probably.. not in this manner.

In the words of how someone was dissed in a foreign forum, I would also love to say "will it kill you to write in proper english?" "is it tiring for your fingers to finish spelling a word?"

Its really scary looking at how the new generation speaks and writes. How will it be like when its my turn to send my kids to school, knowing that the new generation of teachers can't speak and write any language correctly.

As I emphasize again, Singlish is not wrong. It is part of our culture. But it has become abused and distorted.

Anyway, an interesting forum that I came across...
http://www.bebeyond.com/Forum/Profile/Jeames.html

If you are bored, feel free to have a read =)

finally there's work to do

its been some time since the interview, and there hasn't been any call or mail from them. Am I not suitable for the job? Or are they simply taking their time to choose? Am I not good or experienced enough? Or was I too truthful in the interview? I hate suspense... and not knowing whether this is hope is real or false.

I tend to gamble on only one single thing at a time - attend one interview, and hope to hit a homerun. Only when I know its not happening, then I'll convince myself to apply for another, go for another interview, and hope again for that miracle homerun. Right now... I think it'll be some time before i convince myself that there's no more chance of this job and start looking for another. But I'm really still hoping....

Its already a month since my last day of work. And I have never failed to fall ill every week since returning from hk. I definitely fall ill less when I'm busy at work and running all around. A sendetary lifestyle is making me expand sideways and doing my health quite a bit of harm.

Which is why.. I'm glad that I'll be called back to do a show next week. Great that it spans from the mon to fri. I'm happy to have work to do, and to feel useful... to get my bum out of my burning seat. To put some money back into my bank account. To get my mind off food all the time. And to get my antibodies functioning normally once again.

Lets hope I receive a call in the next week. If I don't then yeah... I'll accept it and find a new alternative once again.

too much curry

down with a sorethroat since this morning, so here's what I've done so far to try and sooth it...

- Mum's hot soup
- 5 woods peppermint sweets
- Hot tea
- A packet of green tea
- Old cucumber soup
- One can of JJ herbal tea
- Some Ba Xian Guo
- Corn soup
- Hot Honey
- And will continue with my hot tea

Has it helped? Well... not alot but still better than it was this morning. Just hope I won't end up with diarrhoea =P