The long and winding road

Everyday I dream. A dream of hoping to do music with a bunch of great friends... yup, just like Mayday. I dream of being able to live, breathe, eat, drink, talk, sleep, walk, jump, and even be music itself. I want to bring music to others, I want to drown in the beauty and the serenity, the drive and the power, the bizarre and explosiveness of music. What is it about music that captivates me? I have no idea really. But its music that makes me for who I am.

Maybe I'm just greedy. I've got chances to sing solo and conduct at church but I want more, much more. I want to bring my music to more people. And again, just like Mayday, touch the hearts of many people, bringing about meaning to their lives and my own life. I don't wanna be a superstar, I can't even imagine myself to be one and I doubt I'm even close to the template of one anyway! :P

After having tried working days and nights in the studio with a bunch of pple who love music and are there to do music (even though I haven't stepped into the studio for a long time, because it gets more pathetic the longer I stay there), it made me even hungrier for a life like Mayday's. To just enclose myself someplace experimenting with music and to suddenly step out to the world with something I can be proud of.

But I want to do this with friends who can stick with me in this crazy drive towards making music. Maybe that was what made me relunctant to go for the 2nd audition at muchuan when my good friend and best singing partner didn't make it through the 1st round. Subconsciously and in fact very consciously, I could only envision myself singing there, if she was there with me. Just like how we joined the choir together. I guess I'm just too much a person who can't live or exist without friends around me, especially in this journey of music.

Mayday has talked about dreams alot in their songs and I significantly remember that they said their drive was to achieve something before they turned 24, like Luo Da You. That sparked something in me and made me finally go take up audio engineering. It wasn't a course I really wanted but it was to me, a different path and a possibility of leading me somewhere that I may want to go.

Through this journey, I've met more pple involved in the industry and its helped me see things better. I know now that all I need is to put in more effort. I just need to finish all my unfinished songs. I need that determination and a greater belief in myself that I actually can complete a song. Maybe I'm finding an excuse for myself, but if I had a band, it would help so much... then I wouldn't be just stuck with melodies.

So much that I want to do, so little energy. Is it because I'm really trying to do too much? Should I just be less greedy?

Listening to Mayday always gives me mixed feelings. The happiness and joy of hearing them create great music and as a representative that dreams can come true and on the other hand, a disappointment and dismay that comes upon realising that they have moved forward while I have not, even though I'll think I have already tried so hard.

I know dreams can come true, I just have to keep believing no matter how many obstacles I meet and how long it takes! All I'm afraid of is the misty road ahead of me when I finish this course, afraid that I'll be stuck in a dead-end job just to earn that important $$. But even if I do, I hope that my love and passion for music never dies with it no matter what.

For now, I just have to start by completing my first song!

If I have really tried, at the end of the day, at least I can still say 最後沒成功 也作過最美的夢