The ups and downs of life

At times when you feel despondent, hope comes along.

And it works the other way too.. when you are hopeful and looking forward to things happening, but then you just realise its not really working out the way you hope it will.

I'm not a person who likes to drag things. Just to raise an example.. if the one i love, loves another girl, i'll much rather he let me know, and i'll let him go.

Just as it is now with them... we knew it wasn't really working, chemistry isn't really there, working styles are different, communication levels are different. We tried to make it work of course, through compromise, but too much compromise over time is the ultimate test of patience. And patience has a limit.

Its not that I don't treasure having them, but when things have reached a dead end, its time to leave for another direction. A direction that I've always wanted to head for from the start. Is it that hard and impossible to achieve? Is it hard to find the right people?

I still believe the right people and right things always come along when they should. But I never believe that I should hang on to anything that is dying while waiting for that miracle to happen. Just as I do... for my job hunts. It will be a pity of course to give it up, but all along, I can just feel that things keep going downhill. Commitment isn't really there (maybe i'm guilty of it too.. and so i shouldn't point my fingers around)... but i know that i've always put in lots of effort each time to prepare myself, even though my responsibility seems lighter than what they have.

I want to end it, I really do. It wasn't about being cool anyway. It was about being serious about what we love.

I guess you guys know what I'm talking about. If not, i'm always on msn ;)

And to the curious onlookers, this ain't about my lovelife nor my job. Guess anything else if you want, there's freedom of thought at least, in this little island...