Am I becoming more stupid

Sh says its because I never do get enough sleep.. which is on average always around 5 hours of sleep a day.. and alot of weekends, I don't rest either. It could be true, but does sleeping less make you become more stupid?

I see it this way...

The more afraid I am to make mistakes, the more mistakes I tend to make. I was never like this in the past. Maybe its the job that I really hope to progress in and I don't want people to see me make mistakes or do things wrongly. Yet, the opposite tends to be happening. Maybe its still the same as any other job where I made mistakes.. just that I forgive myself less in this job (simply because I treasure it more).

So many times, when I find myself in places and situations that I couldn't even imagine myself in... I wonder why I am priviledged with these opportunities. What have I done in this world to deserve all these? Most importantly, am I clever and fast thinking enough for all these?

One thing for sure... I know I'm not PR enough. I warm up slowly to others and I'm always easily left out (unless someone introduces me to the stranger.. that person remains a stranger to me). This is something I can't help. I'm not there to be a marketing or PR person anyway... thats when I miss the people I'm all so familiar with. Well, all I can hope is over this period where I'll be working closely with this group of people (plus the many more that I am due to meet).. I can warm up more quickly.

Even to him.. it still feels awkward, not knowing what to say even when he's sitting beside me.

I just don't know how to walk into a group of chatting people, and try to get myself involved in the chat... this is something I've never really learnt over the years.

I want to stay on in this job to learn more, to achieve what I could only dream about in the past.. but now its within reach if I know how to clinch the opportunities and work hard, to let my boss be happy with what I am and have done... (yeah, so as to raise my pay eventually). And essentially, I just want to be happy.

Yet, I know I can't always be in my comfort zone. I'm not an outward and extrovert character by nature... I can only hope for pple to know me better. I'm not unfriendly, I'm just quiet.

Yo Yo!

Firstly... goodbye to my chatterbox that I never even knew disappeared. But truly, I guess no one will miss it hahah.

Haven't found the energy to blog in a long long time. But in that time that I used to use for blogging.. its now better spent, hugging the guitar. Although I would love soon to have my own guitar...

So.. just an update here. I am starting a Flo Guitar Fund.. and since its my birthday, what better time to 'capitalise'? heheh... but its all in the name of a good guitar at the end of the day. One that I can finally call my own.. one that won't have pickup problems.. and one that will be good enough for gigging. If you would like to donate to this fund, please contact me =). Any amount is acceptable, except for negative figures. Thank you!

Lots has happened since the month-ago-post.. I voted for the first time of course (didn't turn out as exciting and it all happened a little too quickly.. with not much secrecy and privacy I would say.. )

Lots of things to do at work, although I would love to learn more still... so I'm trying hard to revise stuff... hitting my school books again. I've got a goal in mind... but whether I can achieve it, depends on my own self study now, plus learning to PR better and learn just how to 'hang around'.

Lots of holidays this month too, which means less or should i say none.. in the few months to come.

Well, just learnt today that I'll really get to go shanghai with them. Won't deny feeling very happy about it, because its a great learning experience for sure. Plus, I get to travel, of course thats good! ... and it would also mean I get to go to genting as well... =)

By the way, there is a reason for my post title.
Its the 'yo yo' culture in my company. You go 'yo yo' when you see each other along the corridor, at the toilet and the boss says 'yo yo' when he returns from overseas. All except early in the morning (well, actually not that early for us too..) when everyone is still in a stoned state. But yo! I like it, at least everyone is cheery and smiling despite having deadlines and being stressed by work.

I would like to stay on long there to achieve my goal... but hopefully I can request for a pay raise in a few months time. Otherwise, survival will be tough.

Work's been swell so far, for those who are concerned about me. My band.. I'm glad we're still working hard together. And its been nice of an to come play with us sometimes. I hope we find our new drummer soon and maybe a keyboardist, so that I can slack a bit hehehhe.

Not sure when I will blog again.. but I (we) will be back! now doesn't this sound familiar heheh...