Constantly searching...

I still remember blogging some months ago about how I had finally got to doing what I've always wanted to do.. my job and my band. But at this point of time, I'm not so sure again.

Things have slowed down.

There are certain things we gotta work out together. I want us all to stay together, to grow stronger and improve and work on our dream to just play music. maybe cbh is right... take a year off just to play music. I love the idea. You guys game for it? If there's just another one person who is in for this challenge, I'm willing to go for it and just manage with a non full time job.

But what if any of us gets offered a good job that we've always wanted. Can we fight off that temptation to just do one year of music. What happens after that one year if we missed out important opportunities in our own careers?

Life is always a dilemma, isn't it? Whats more, it takes all of us to be in it together. Compromise and effort has to come from each of us. Can this be possible?

As for my job, I think I've said it too many times before.. the way the company is run, its depressing. The events covered.. well, they're getting a little depressing also. I want more... am I being too greedy? I've tried applying for another particular company for the 2nd time already. Am I not good enough for them? Why don't they even give me a try?

Feeling a little unsure as the new year approaches. What happens after we return from HK? I really don't know. I have no idea too if she will really call me back to help out with productions (after all, I will cost additional money.. it wouldn't make sense to her, if she can just use those she's already paying).

These things can't be rushed. How true. How long it took before i got this job which now I'm gonna leave behind. However, I can't deny how much I've learnt and seen and experienced. Its something I would still never exchange for. But now, its time to move on.... just that the new destination is not yet in sight.

My favourite words of encouragement.. Obstacles are created as a test to how much we really want something. Each time we fall, we pick ourselves up, we learn from it and we treaure it more. Maybe this is it.

Its just 6 days to christmas. A miracle happened 2005 years ago. May a miracle appear for me as well...