just go and never come back?

How I wish.

Its easy for him to do so, leave here and stay in Aus forever. I would so love to leave too, but wherever mum is, I know I gotta be there.

Who else will she have to give her emotional support, if I were to leave as well? Especially faced against a crazy old man.

And so long as she wants to be with him, I have to put up with all his weird antics, logics and incessant nagging. Truly, i've never met a man more naggy... naggy yet egoistic (the ultimate combination).

My tactic? Coming home late, and hiding in my room, avoiding any chances of conversation with him (knowing that it will always be a disaster). Its what my bro is doing now as well and he claims he'll never come back again once he steps out of the country.

I'm not telling him alot about my life either. He doesn't need to know... or rather, its better that he does not know. Its become that there's no need to tell him so much or for him to know truths and facts. That way, I have more peace.

He's not a great listener. In fact, there has never been 2 way communication since I don't know when. I'm not even going to try and change him after 25 years.

Generation gap? or simply too high expectations? or is it a lack of trust in family? or even.. not knowing how to show concern in the right way? I'm not about to fault him in anything. I'm already quite used to his nonsense. Bro and him practically have been fighting all my life (other than when he returns to aus). Mum has also learnt to become stronger, which I'm glad.

I still love him as a father, but I just don't know how to feel close to him. Financially, he has done a great job over the years.. but its all too lacking, emotionally...

Its their wedding anniversary, 28th Dec 1975. ... i remember the past years when we always celebrated with you guys. We'll still be having dinner as usual.. but its going to be a pretty quiet and cold one i'm sure.