I just want you to know who I am

Reading through the lyrics of Goo goo doll's Iris, I thought through carefully at who that 'you' really meant to me.

And I don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Of course, friends and family meant a lot to me and gaining their understanding would be the most important thing to me. I don't think anyone can live without support from people they care about.

Another group of people came to my mind. For those who know me well, its not hard to guess, because you are right, its Mayday.

I don't want to be a regular fan.
I don't want them to remember as the crazy female fan who screams out their name or tries to touch them when I see them
I don't want to be remembered as a fan who is trying real hard to gain their attention by exterior means.
I don't want to be a fan who can only make small talk with them.
I don't want to be seen as a fan with not much substance
I don't want to be thought of as a fan trying so damn hard to become their friend

Which is why, I restrict myself alot even though I would be dying inside to get to see them more.

I don't want to snoop around where they stay
I don't want to follow them around like a pest
I don't want to stand in front of their tired faces trying to get a photo of them
I don't want to cling onto them as though they are mine to own

I want to be different.
I want them to know who I am and not a personality made up just to attract their attention.

It might be silly to say that, yup I don't just want to be a fan, neither do I want to be just a friend. What I want, is to learn from them or better still, work with them.

I don't want to know what they like to eat
I don't want to know how many members there are in their family
I don't want to know where they stay when they go overseas
I don't want to know which girl they are dating now
I don't want to get the latest gadget or product endorsed by them

I want to know how they put together and plan a large scale concert
I want to know their experiences of performing in a pub
I want to know what they go through when they write and arrange a song
I want to know their studio experiences and how they go through completing an album
I want to know everything that I hope to be able to learn from them...

Will that day come? Well, just let me hope that it would, whether or not its just another silly dream of mine.

But one thing I know, is that again, I don't just want to be a fan, I want to be different as well.