The past and the present

Reading jac's blog made me think about the choices I've made in the past. In answer to your blog... I've sometimes wanted to go back to the past too, but its really more to relive the most beautiful memories again.. rather than to really change anything about myself.

After leaving my honors program to go in search of something else.. something that at that time I really didn't know what it was when I gave up the possibility of a shiny new honors degree that others didn't even have the opportunity to try for.

That period was tough, trying to convince my parents, especially my mum. I mean, I've been too much of a good kid all along, studious and always carrying good grades home. Of course I got my material rewards.. but inside, I was hungry for a different sort of development in my life. Which was why, my sudden announcement to quit honors... was quite a terrible blow to my parents (didn't help that my cousin who was also in nus didn't get offerred to do honors).

Well, the point is... I pushed myself all the way through with assignments and exams until the last exam when my father finally gave in. And yup, I almost did complete half of that honors program except for the one paper where I simply didn't turn up to take... the feeling was great, you'll have to believe me for this one hahah.

I felt set free, after all the months of wondering and thinking and talking to my parents, as well as my all so supportive friends. But at the same time, I began to think... what next?

It was probably fate that led me to study the course that I would do next..

That didn't come easy as well, I was met with another hurdle.. having to resign from the job that I took up after leaving nus. I had to fulfill the one mth resignation notice period but then lessons were already starting. That led me to miss 2 weeks of classes but I managed to catch up eventually.

Throughout that period, and even now, many have asked me if I ever regretted my choice. I can only say, no. It was a choice I would never have regretted... otherwise I wouldn't have learnt and seen so much.. nor met so many people I would never have met in a conventional Singaporean's educational and career path.

I can't say for sure if this was the best choice I could have made in my life, but at least I never regretted the experiences I had in the past 2 years...

And, I never felt that my half a year in honors was a waste of time either, because it opened my eyes.. to step out of convention, to step out of what I always believed the right path should be, to step out of walking in a straight line...

And so, I thank my professor for telling me (I hope he doesn't come read this blog entry though! haha)... "if you feel that you've got something better out there to do [outside of class], then go do it!". At that time, my friend next to me, gave me a nudge in the arm.... and yup, from that moment I knew it. I would go do that 'something' that is meant for me to do all my life.