treasure those around you

I know i've disappeared for some time. Been busy for the past week.. not just jamming but mainly because of things that have happened at work, and also because of the unfortunate event that happened. But yesterday, I felt the warmth of friendship, as his old and new friends turned up to remember him. It was like a huge gathering yesterday and everyone left on a happy note, just as I believe he would have liked it to be.

Something one of his friends said yesterday really made me feel a sense of guilt in my heart. She said "don't wait till new year time to meet up with your old friends" (otherwise you never know when you may never see them again). How many of my old friends have I not met up with for so long because of the nature of my job and now that I've given my priority to music.

Today I get to go to work at 1pm because of the long day we've had yesterday. But I'm awake early nonetheless. Dad forgot his pass and I had to use our usual method of throwing it out of our window down to him (we live on the 7th floor). As I saw him run back, I could feel that he had aged. And it pained me to realise that both my parents are still working so hard at this age. We know it all the time, but such realisations are just heart breaking for it made me recall the days and nights he will spend pounding his legs or sitting and sleeping in awkward positions, just so they wouldn't ache so much.

They are in their mid 50s and me... I should be able to support them by now. But sadly, I still need them to help pay my phone bills for me while I support myself in other aspects of my life.

I wished my pay could be higher. It could be if I went for other jobs.. but I still wouldn't give up to be where I am now. I can only try to work as hard as possible, to get a pay rise after I am able to prove myself. But I know, it will still be some time before I can support them.

Am I selfish to want to achieve my own dreams and goals, while my parents continue to toil to keep us where we are?