Being with myself

Being on my own, never fails to make me cranky.

Thats the time when i always leave the tv on no matter what, whether or not I'm watching it and the house will still feel so empty.

Thats the time when I start to think too much, do too little, worry too much about myself, about others, about anything possible in this whole wide world.

Its probably my biggest weakness.. and the big reason why I miss my ex colleagues whom I spent so much time together with at work, or not at work.

And I miss you too, even though I'm trying to act tough.

This world just suddenly feels so strange. Maybe its a psychological problem that hits people when you're jobless?

Went to the semb fest yesterday with hx, yj and deb. Was quite looking forward to it until we reached the place. It just felt so odd even standing at the entrance. For a while, I felt so lost, and as though I'm not myself. Going in didn't make much of a difference.

I just felt so weird all the way through that I realised I remembered my friend's band name wrongly (it wasn't the cd there) with the girl intently looking at us looking at the cds... haha and I don't know how I can point to the wrong person.. sheesh. Forgive me for giving you the wrong info.. I feel really bad!

I only liked the first band we saw... truthfully. It was probably the one consolation for making that long trip there and back. I know you guys felt weird too, being in that environment... or maybe its just me? It felt like a different culture, with all the beer and drunkedness, the dancing, the vulgarities, the overexcessively loud sound system.

Is this what rock should mean? Or is this a culture that I'm simply not used to? Or does it only happen in eng rock?

Whatever it is, I'm still very much resolved that we should be a chinese band... and its what makes me comfortable as well. I didn't go back there today. Its a good thing we didn't pay for the tickets, but also sorry to hx for wasting your tickets =)

Springscream someday maybe? ;)