I'm no perfect being

sometimes, i wonder what i did wrong. Have I created such an image of myself that any little bit of flaw from my character cannot be tolerated at all? Am I supposed to be a perfect person?

I'm also human, just as anybody is. I'm not better, I'm not always right, I cry when I'm sad, I laugh when I'm happy and I get mad when I'm angry. Its just part and parcel of being human.

But it seems that I have to be tolerant of everything. I shouldn't be impatient, coz that will be too unlike 'me'. I have to swallow everything down, because its 'me' to be big hearted. I have to be nice and compromising because that's how others have been taught to understand the person I am.

Maybe I'm just a stupid person by nature. So much so, that you can't imagine how often I get bullied and not fight back. its funny how people think I'm always cool and calm and able to handle everything. I don't... I just swallow everything down, forget everything the next day after I've cried myself to sleep. Because its just too bad that this is the image I've created all along.

Florence is a emotionally and mentally strong person. She can take any sort of blows. She is a superwoman who will do lots of things at one time. She will never fall no matter how difficult things become.

Me?

Think again...

I have my weaknesses too, just like any of you do.

I fight myself almost everyday.. wondering what my next step in life would be, worrying about everything important to me, trying my best not to neglect any one of them.

I go through emotional battles trying to make everybody happy whether or not they appreciate it. If people are unhappy, I just take all the blows and bombs as though it doesn't hurt me, but it does (as much as it hurts them).

So, like I said... maybe I'm just not a very clever person.

Sorry if this blog entry doesn't make much sense.
Then again, why am I apologising for writing stuff on my own blog?