its good friday..

As I sat in church today, I suddenly thought back about last year's good Friday and I recalled all of a sudden, that it was the time when we found Intel, the most adorable little kitten.. well actually we found her on that Thursday, just that it made me remember more significantly because it was holy week.

Just a diary I typed out last year, after Intel passed away.

I still remember that time... how we watched Mayday on the NKF show together while nursing little Intel.. Mayday will be back soon again but Intel, although she has left, will remain in the hearts of all those who met her in her short stay with us :)



Thursday, April 15, 2004
In Memory of Intel (died 2-3 weeks old)

Its exactly a week now since we found Intel crawling on the rocky ground full of cigarette butts. It doesn't really feel like a week has passed. It feels as though this has been the greatest experience of my life. Not because it was absolutely tiring, not because it was so draining on our expenses and not because we were facing a lot of rubbish from our families. What it was, was pure and simple... it was a life in our hands. She had just entered into our lives, whether we liked it or not (but we did). She came swiftly and left swiftly but she touched us all so so so so deeply. She was the most special kitten I knew.

We found her on Holy Thursday (8th Apr 04). I called my mum hoping she could help but just got really on my toes when I couldn't get through to her. SH on the other hand went hunting for a box for her. Deep inside I just knew that whether my parents would agree or whether I could find her a home soon, I just had to take her back away from that place. I couldn't think too far ahead of what the circumstances would be. The situation was there and then. She was a baby. We put her into a box and named her intel for the label on the box read 'intel inside'.

The first day we faced so many 'no's from those who could not keep her. As well as my very angry father and very angry dog. I was put on pressure to bring her to the SPCA the next day. Thinking back, I wished I never did. But I was glad when we got her out of them and it was just wonderful to see her little face again. That morning before bringing her to SPCA was the time that I got more attached to her. SH was still sleeping. I went into the study room to carry her out from the box and comforted her as she played with the sock ball I made her and she crawled all over the sofa. The irritating meowing kitten had then melted my heart. I just wished I could keep her or even help her then. But despite asking more people, there wasn't an answer. I had to make myself bring her to SPCA.

At SPCA, when she was taken from my hands, I was at a total loss. As if I had just given a life away. It bothered me for the rest of the day. I couldn't even make myself go to church on Good Friday. SH and I just continued trying to find her a home and even thought of requesting the SPCA to help us. But they weren't able to help. I feel proud of him for rushing down to save her, to do something that we both wouldn't regret. It was Holy Saturday.

She was brought back to my house after my father finally gave us a 3 days period to keep her. But unfortunately Pepper was absolutely upset about it the moment we brought her into the house. For a number of hours, we sat with her at the staircase outside my house as we tried to feed her with a bottle. But she kept sucking on our hands so we had to squeeze the milk onto our hands for her. Thinking back, I really miss her little tongue sucking on my finger as she moved her paws around trying to get more milk.

SH later got his sis to come see her, afterwhich they decided to bring her home without their parents' approval. He got a bad scolding of course but Intel could still stay and I was really glad for that. The next day on Easter day, I rushed down to his house to help take care of her. Eventually managed to teach her how to drink from the bottle. But that day I suddenly realised that her stomach felt bloated. Maybe I should have done something then.. but I just didn't.. When she drank, sometimes she would choke a little or become a little weak thereafter. But when I rubbed her down a little and she rested a little, she would be back to normal again. Little did I know that it was a sign that she was deteriorating.

That night, God sent us a foster. She was Carol and we were to bring Intel to her the next day. We were so elated to hear that she had a nursing cat and the thought of Intel finally being able to have a mother's milk soon was so relieving. We were full of hopes.

That Monday at Carol's place, we were happy to see Intel drinking from the mother cat and playing with the other kittens but I was a little shocked to hear Carol saying that she might have worms in her stomach. I just hoped for the best, and I wished that I had told Carol the symptoms that Intel had whenever she drank milk. I just wished I had!

That afternoon while we were at the airport hoping to send Mayday off, Carol called to tell us that the mother cat had rejected Intel, we ought to have left to get her instead of going to see Mayday (whom we didn't really see in the end, becoz we rushed off in a cab the instant we got the call). I don't know if this played a part in her death but I just wished that we had gone to get her and brought her to a vet before she became terribly weak the next day.

That Tuesday we were supposed to bring her to Jackie, another foster. But seeing Intel all lethargic and liveless, we rushed her to the vet. SH and I were just hoping that the medicine and glucose would help her get better but I guess it didn't. It was already too late. Somehow looking at her lying on her side and resting her little head lightly on my hand, I just knew that her time was almost over but I just didn't want to acknowledge it. I chose to believe that she would be well. Feel stupid for deluding myself. We both had the chance to cuddle her at the vet's and I told her I love her a couple of times. I wanted her to feel loved and not rejected.

That evening, I just kept watching out for Jackie's call just in case of any bad news and I was relieved when I didn't receive any call for quite a while. That was up till 8plus. I only realised at 9 that I had a missed call. Almost went mad trying to call her back while her line was engaged. Even though I hadn't talked to her yet, I just knew the news. I knew it wouldn't be good and it was true, we had lost Intel. Jackie was just very sweet and she kept comforting me. SHe and her daughter, Jennifer have buried Intel in their backyard and place flowers at her grave. In a way I'm glad she has that beautiful place to rest forever at rather than the dirty place at sim lim or whatever SPCA would do after putting her to sleep. Maybe this was the ending that was meant to be.

I don't know if we contributed to her death or as many people say, we saved her. I don't feel like a saviour, I just want to help rejected animals feel loved. Just as people want to be loved, animals need love too.

I just miss Intel. Her meowing, purring, scratching, her little face, her eyes, her cute ears and her pretty little tail. I've only known her for 6 days but I will remember her for a lifetime. I will not let her death be in vain. She has taught me so much.