Living a dream.. or living in a dream

Too Tired to Blog

2007-10-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

Work has been a non stop ride ever since I came back. I never had time to breathe or get back into momentum, but was just forced along with the wave that hit me.

It's made me realise that the next holiday I take has gotta be a relaxing one.. where maybe I just float around a pool (with reference to what Tianshi did) and imagine I'm just a piece of wood in this world, or stare blankly at a blue ocean with the sea breeze tickling my face, as though I were just a grain of sand on the beach.

Rushing around in cities is fun but it doesn't help much in recharging.

I'm too tired to blog abt the trip though I would love to keep a journal of this adventure we've just been through.

Anyway, just for a note, yesterday awards show was probably the first time I enjoyed myself in so many years that I've been there. Why? because it was just hilarious and you never fail to get amazed by what they can come up with in times of need. As usual, air pork australia was the main sponsor of the event.

But eventually, to beat the wave of fh fans exiting the venue, we left earlier to go to our favourite hk cafe where we sat for hours (people around us came and left) discussing our next plan on how to conquer the world. So.... World, here we come!!

We are Pinky and the Brain =P

*runs from SH*

Back to earth

2007-10-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

After 13 days, 12 nights, 4 flights, 2 countries, 2 cities and 1 town, 2 highest points of the world, 3 airports, 1 concert, countless convenience stores, miles and miles of walking, and 2 months of salary burnt

We are back!! With these....

To be honest, I wished it wouldn't end. I didn't want to come back to this place.

Escapism? Maybe...
But we came back.. and I was faced with shocking news of more colleagues resigning. So when would it be my turn? Work would be different without them around if I were to stay on...

Or maybe it was the wonderful cool weather?
Or probably the fact that we didn't have other cares except to find our way around everyday and scout for interesting things.
If only life could be like this.. If only!
But if I were to live on like this, I would probably become obese.

I'll like to call our story..

THE ADVENTURES OF
ED, FLO & POOKIE

4 Oct 2007
Singapore > Taipei

5 Oct 2007
Taipei > Tokyo

9 Oct 2007
Tokyo > Kawaguchiko / Mt. Fuji

10 Oct 2007
Kawaguchiko > Tokyo > Taipei

16 Oct 2007
Taipei > Singapore

讓我們盡情的撒野

2007-10-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

To 天使

2007-09-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

Wanted to write this, not just because I know you like to read my blog (and to look for older entries to read) hehehe... but also because I will miss your last day at work.

We started work on the same day. Both with our own dreams in mind.
And we have truly come so far...

The late nights we worked together, sharing cabs home or meeting at our 'lao di fang' to catch a cab to events, chatting with you over msn even though you are seated just in front of me. I will definitely miss every bit of them all.

Sometimes I want to tell you to stay and not go. But it would be too selfish to do so.
I know you have your dreams to fulfill and a family to be responsible for.

This period of working with you, I feel you have done more for me than I have ever done for you. I'm a bad friend. Thank you for the breakfasts and patiently msging me every morning. Thank you for always listening to my complaints and frustrations. Thank you for lending me money whenever I was short of it =P. Thank you for the doraemon stuff, the pookie and the many many little thoughtful things you have done just for me.

Never have I had a deeper friendship with any colleague. And I'm so glad that you came into my life =). I'll miss walking into office and not seeing you when I come back.

Have a good break and start afresh at your new place.
Take good care of your stomach too. Don't always buy food and let them get cold before you eat. Eat hot and fresh food!!

你真的是我的天使, 保護著我的天使

(其實你是我們四個當中最不俗辣的嘛, 哈哈)

The moon is blue...

2007-09-20T12:27:00.000-07:00

because I'm blogging again!!

This has been a very turbulent year.
with loved ones plagued with illnesses...
with friends around me getting married and having children...
with my best colleagues resigning from their job...

Yet 2007 has taught me a lot.

I learnt to understand how ambitions should come after those you care for.
As important as work may be, it should never take the place of a loved one.

But being the person I am, I still can't give up my responsibilities at work.
So, I am contemplating to leave my job.

The job that I believed so hard in...
The job I never dreamed I would get when I took the risk to leave NUS and take up the course at SAE.
The job that was one in a 4 million population of Singapore.
The job that my family discouraged me from accepting because of the unbelievably low pay that was an 'insult' to my educational achievements.
The job that I loved and still love so much because of the people I've met, the great friends I've made, an understanding boss that I probably cannot find easily in another job, and the many opportunities I've been given.
And for simply being a job that engulfs me in music.... the one thing that defines my life.

Ironically, it is not my idea of how music should be.
Music should be free...
It need not be perfect, but it should have a soul.

Unfortunately, it is not as glam as others make it out to be.
Its what you'll probably call.... feeling 'imbalanced'.
(when job responsibilities and workload exceeds the financial rewards)

Truthfully, it takes up too much of my time and energy..
That i'm afraid to make appointments with friends.. for fear of 'flying their kite' time and again.
That I have to make my bf on standby mode everyday, not knowing if I need to work overtime.
That I do not have enough time back home to talk to my parents, because I always return home to a dark and quiet house.

Sadly, my good friends are leaving too.
The place just loses it's meaning...
No more 'seesaw' trips.
No more pigout lunches.
No more catered breakfasts.
No more crazy laughter in the office and along the corridoors.
No more trying to record ourselves singing when everyone else is not around.
No more late night sessions of printing, packing, pasting and all sorts of art and craft.

I guess, all good things must come to an end.
But at least we all gained this great friendship.

Then we would never regret coming here. Because we all fulfilled a part of our own dreams here.
Let's move on and not look back.

To 天使, Bear and 雪人, I love you girls!!! =)

俗辣萬歲, 萬萬歲,!
Never forget our moto, 堅持到底!!!

七月雪

2007-08-02T12:41:00.000-07:00

This morning I arrived at work as usual, turned on my msn.

Immediately a window popped out.
My taiwan colleague very excitedly asked me this question...

YL: 聽說新加坡下雪了?

I was dumbfounded. I even thought to myself.. did she mean literally snow... or metaphorically.
Not wanting to sound too stupid, I asked...

Me: 怎麼會下雪呢?

YL: 台灣新聞報說新加坡昨天下了十分鐘的雪....

!!!????!!??!??!

Hmm.. you mean it snowed... and I slept through it? or should taiwan news even be credible? I really started to doubt both the media, and myself

I wondered if it was really as she said...　你們都住在山洞裡

But, eventually, she really did dig out the article that reported this news.
Don't blink, coz here it is:

======================================
全球氣候異常新加坡出現七月雪！ 20070731

記者(謝佐人)

近來全球氣候異常，歐洲多國氣溫升高到攝氏40度，熱浪造成多人死亡，英國則慘遭豪雨水災肆虐，現在連亞洲的新加坡都出現七月雪的反常天氣。新加坡接近赤道，向來四季如夏，近日連日降雨，而且從上週五開始就豪雨不斷；日前在雨中竟然夾雜著雪花，讓居民驚訝不已。當地媒體報導，這個雨中飄雪的奇景大約持續了十分鐘，隨後雨勢減弱，雪花也消失。新加坡官員表示，以當地的氣候來說，只有在海拔五千公尺以上的地方才會出現冰雪，因此新加坡出現七月雪確實讓人驚訝。

From: http://times.hinet.net/news/20070731/recreation/8eb0c5954e2a.htm

======================================

Really makes you wonder doesn't it?
But then if it's true, why isn't it on the headlines of our papers and the talking point of every kopitiam in Singapore now?

瘋狂世界

2007-07-08T01:10:00.000-07:00

It's good to set a date to your goals... at least they start to appear within sight (and not just an empty concept).

2009. 03. 29
Will it happen as we hope?
Even if the idea changes along the way, this is a date we hope to meet.

And please don't start imagining it's a date where we're getting married or targetting to have kids.
Those who know us well enough, will know that these are things that always tend to be the last on our minds. So much so that to many people, we're probably the weirdest and most boring couple they know (who always talk about work, and do work.. when we're spending time together).

Watching other people trying to fulfill their dreams (those who failed, those we are working their way through now), it does make me skeptical of our own. Is ours just too big?

True... time is short, but it's not impossible.
All we need to do, is stay focused.

I think we're crazy, but life is short.
Its time to work hard. Really hard....

A little purple book contains this dream of ours.
As it fills up, the dream would also slowly fall into place
And by the time it fills up, I hope we would be truly ready to face the true challenge
Of a dream becoming reality

是誰需要殺手....

2007-06-15T02:34:00.000-07:00

6/29 正式發行

The day I got my voice back

2007-06-15T01:39:00.000-07:00

6 years ago, in 2001
I remembered md telling us, before they left on their 2 year hiatus.
Now, its our turn to work hard in attaining our own dreams.

These words stuck deep in me. So deep... that they constantly recur in my thoughts every now and then, motivating me to keep going and to keep on believing in myself.
And simply that dreams... can come true, only if you dare to dream big enough.

Today was an experience I never expected in my life.
not only did I recover my voice, I got to work with someone I truly admire for his talents.

And I admit, I was nervous from the start and although picked up my stance along the way, I was no doubt very stressed all throughout the session. I've never sat with a sore straight back and my 2 hands (1 never leaving the keyboard, the other never leaving the mouse) for hours, trying to work as efficiently as possible.

Tomorrow is another day, but at least from how it's going so far, I know the outcome will be very good =)

I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity in my life.

Now, when will the day come when I get a chance to work with the 5 of them? =P *dream bubble grows bigger~~~*

Anyway, to be able to work with him today was very much unexpected. Being able to meet him in the past was already unbelievable. This was a name I've always known and respected. And I'm glad to actually experience his working style and have a taste of his more than nice personality.

It's another stressful night tomorrow but it will be another night of experience that I would treasure. With more experiences like that, even if I were to leave the industry one day, I would have no regrets

Understanding Myself

2007-05-14T01:21:00.000-07:00

I believe all of us have taken this test at some point of our life before.

Just out of curiosity, I took it again. Right here:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

If you do take the test, let me know what you got :)

I still remember my result from last time.
And it's amazing that after almost 10 years from the time I last took it. The result is still exactly the same.

Aparently, I'm part of only 1 percent of the world's population.

Mine's: INFP

Introverted

Intuitive

Feeling

Perceiving

And I'm under the category of the "Healer Idealist"

From http://keirsey.com/personality/nfip.html, it simply means:

Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in striving for their ends, and investigative and attentive in their interpersonal relations. Healer present a seemingly tranquil, and noticiably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types.

They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in.

The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.

Healers seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect, perhaps because they are likely to have a sense of inner division threaded through their lives, which comes from their often unhappy childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood, which, unfortunately, is discouraged or even punished by many parents. In a practical-minded family, required by their parents to be sociable and industrious in concrete ways, and also given down-to-earth siblings who conform to these parental expectations, Healers come to see themselves as ugly ducklings.

Other types usually shrug off parental expectations that do not fit them, but not the Healers. Wishing to please their parents and siblings, but not knowing quite how to do it, they try to hide their differences, believing they are bad to be so fanciful, so unlike their more solid brothers and sisters.

They wonder, some of them for the rest of their lives, whether they are OK. They are quite OK, just different from the rest of their family-swans reared in a family of ducks. Even so, to realize and really believe this is not easy for them. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, Healers can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane.

Healers are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with the profane, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when Healers believe thay have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the Healer, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public.

Round and round and round

2007-05-14T00:25:00.000-07:00

Why do humans like to walk in circles?

Because we never learn?
Because we are too caught up with ourselves?
Or because we try to believe that we are perfect, just as a circle is perfect and without flaws?

We self blame, blame each other, blame a stranger, blame the environment, blame the world, blame the universe.

But why must everything always be about blame?

We get hurt by people, we hurt others as well.

People cause us misery, just as we cause the misery of others.

But why don't we think of how we can make others happy, and they in turn make us happy?

Maybe i'm just philosophical by nature. But I never did think that everything I say is the ultimate truth.

I'm not interested in right or wrongs.
Simply because there is no black or white.

Just as we see the things around us in colour, everything we experience in life is just as subjective.
In short, its always a matter of perspective.

Blame never gets us anywhere. So what if we prove that someone is wrong?
It doesn't make us progress any further, other than the brief moment of self satisfaction.

The world keeps turning.
We should never stop, otherwise we simply fall behind.

Its better to look accept life as it is and adapt; things that have happened in life as a way of helping us grow stronger.

But humans... when do we learn?
Learn to stop blaming yourself, blaming others, blaming a stranger, blaming the environment, blame the world, blame the universe?

What's the point of staying unhappy, if the person who made you unhappy, isn't even feeling miserable?

What's the point of striving for perfection, when every living being, including mother earth itself, is imperfect.

What's the point of fighting over right or wrong, when it's better to cherish life with those you love?

I'm not being self-righteous, I'm not forcing my views onto anyone.
These are just purely my own philosophies of life.

Wallowing in self pity never gets us anywhere.
Neither does unhappiness, for it only eats up the better part of us.

We can fight it.
We can step out of our very own vicious cycles.

Smile, people, smile!

2007-05-02T01:11:00.000-07:00

Source of article:
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/273593/1/.html

"Singapore's Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has called on workers to keep finding new ways to keep the country special and unique.

This is to create prosperity for a new generation of Singaporeans. "

Vagueness as usual...
How exactly does uniqueness of a country make it more prosperous for us or our next generation?
Will it contribute to our individual incomes?

" PM Lee said that Singapore was undergoing a transformation....
Wages too have gone up by nearly five percent - the fastest growth in six years. "

With the recent vast increase in salaries by 20million, how am I not surprised that wage growth is now at its fastest in six years?

I don't see mine, nor the people around me, increasing that much. Is yours?

'Mr Lee said, "The most important signal is the unionists are smiling. That means everything is all right. So there is growing confidence and buzz in Singapore." '

How come I don't see the uncle clearing tables at the foodcourt; or the auntie scouting bins and tables for used drink cans; or the security guard left alone in a building at night; or even the many people I see on the way to work everyday.... smiling?

Ohhh... maybe it's just because we aren't represented by unions.
Darn, just our luck.
But we don't matter, because the PM says that everything is alright.

" Mr Lee stressed that the good news was a result of the government taking a long term view of what needs to be done, in the best interest of the people. "

And the best solution?? 2% GST increase! pay increase for the hardworking govt who are slogging for the lazy citizens. Thats why public assistance is just $290: because if you give the people too much, they won't work hard enough for themselves.

Yes, we ought to be touched.... all only for the best interest of the people =)

" Another area that needs to be looked into is wage reform."

You said it! I'm all ears....

" Mr Lee said, "We must try hard to get our wage structure right, bring the ratio down, make it job-based, competency-based, performance-based. What are you delivering, how capable are you, what responsibility do you carry. Move towards (the) paying rate for the job. "

Hmm... based on this theory, I'm gonna demand for a huge increase in my pay tomorrow, because the PM said so.

If I didnt' take on this job, I could have been a senior employee in a stat board with not just high pay but also fat bonuses and plenty of staff benefits.

And I shouldn't have to settle for working so many hours overtime, sacrificing public holidays and weekends, at no extra pay!

"The aim is to ensure that low-wage workers save for their CPF....

This is to encourage people to contribute to their Medisave and be entitled to a lucky draw. "

In this other article, we are told this

"Seng Han Thong, Assistant Secretary-General, National Trades Union Congress, said, "For low-wage workers, what they need is money in cash. So we want to get them to save for Medisave. At the same time, if you save more, you have more chances to get cash, to top up your Medisave, why not? "

You are right that low wage workers need cash. But they need cash that is absolute.
Not giving cash for a chance to get more cash.
And Medisave... aren't there many criterias that one has to meet before he/she can make use of medisave?
Apparently, if you don't fall under the 4 major illness specified by the committee, then just forget the fact that you even have money inside your medisave.

'Mr Lee said, "Singaporeans love lucky draws. So why not have a small lucky draw; if you pay your Medisave on time, then you can be eligible for (a) lucky draw and there is a prize. So everybody is happy. We get a small flutter. We are not encouraging gambling but (there is) no harm having a bit of fun..." '

Our PM understands us so well, doesn't he =)
Having fun is so much more important than paying daily bills; more important than paying for your transport to work everyday; more important than ensuring you have enough in your moveable savings to use in any emergencies.

Truly, we are a unique country.

Women, don't complain!

2007-05-01T08:18:00.000-07:00

How is it that I can read this piece of news up and down, left and right...
And still feel that its not going anywhere, nor are any true issues being addressed by the speaker at all.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/273256/1/.html

" The 1,700 people present at the dinner were told that the overall higher employment rate of seniors in recent years owes much to the rise in the employment of female workers."

Note, that we are not told next how a correlation between the rise in employment of female workers and a higher employment rate of seniors, can exist.

I would surely like to know this enlightening fact...
But perhaps, the reporter was confused too?

"But, Mr Lim said, the employment rate of women would soon hit a ceiling if the problems they face are not resolved"

Yup, for sure! So how will they be resolved?

"Many females today are better educated. Without children, they are high- performing individuals. Their employers expect the same level of performance, after the children come along. They themselves are unprepared to lower performance and adjust to lower jobs with lower pay. If fathers take their share of the duty, it will help," added Mr Lim.

Oh, you mean that once they have children, their performance as an individual drops?
Yes, if fathers take their share of the duty, it helps.. but it involves more.

What are employers doing for these women? What can the govt do, to make it more favourable for these women to continue to be 'high-performing individuals'?

Wasn't it govt-initiative to encourage more educated women to have children, so that we can not only counter an aging population (Mr Wang enlightens us on this myth) but also maintain the 'intelligent' gene pool that our MM always places so much emphasis on.

After all, women need to have children so that the country doesn't have to be so bo-bian and rely on FT you know...

But no! The country needs them to do their part as women (who asked us to be born as lowly women) and give birth to more babies, but don't blame the govt when you can't get a job after having a baby. Because you should learn how to lower yourself and be willing to accept lower pay.

"Mr Lim said if the employment rate of seniors is to be raised, more must be done to help younger women stay in the work force because if they drop out, getting them back will be difficult. "

Ok, we got it already that more must be done. So what will be done?

"Mr Lim also spent much time discussing the challenges of helping older workers stay employed. "

Oh, you mean that's all that will be covered on the topic of women when the headline states this:
Govt to help raise employment rate of women: Lim Boon Heng

And as all good obedient media should do, the story ends off with something more cheery (unlike women and older people not being able to stay employed who we cannot help if they don't learn how to be more flexible and accept lower pay because they aren't like the top men in govt)

"At the dinner, Mr Lim, who was the former secretary general of NTUC, received the Distinguished Comrade of Labour Award for his outstanding contributions to the labour force"

The most priceless taxi ride home

2007-04-30T00:19:00.000-07:00

It was past 2am, I was tired, I looked like shit and I felt a little groggy... Finally I get to go home after a long day at work + a lot of walking + jamming....
but it didn't keep me from having the best conversation with a taxi driver.

I hopped onto a cab just outside our bright red building.
Out of curiosity, the driver asked if there were still other people working inside this building at this time, to which I answered yes. I was tired and wasn't ready to talk that much.

At this point, we passed by a field with many wooden cows planted into the ground - a sight many were familiar with, but some probably unaware of what it meant.

He asked me if I knew why there were so many of these cows around the island. Politely, I answered that it was done by a media company as a form of advertisement for themselves, and also a demonstration of what they could do for their clients.

Of course, I didn't explain it in such technical details yet until he told me his own perspective, of which made me realise that this driver is actually quite an analyst.

As we drove onto the expressway, he turned back to the topic on what I was doing at the big red building, so late into the night (or rather so early in the morning).

And just like what I always tell to strangers... "I do music".

This always puzzles them of course, but I prefer to be vague and then let the conversation drift off where possible.

I simply told him that we created music and sell cds in stores.

My tactic worked because he soon began the huge topic of music. On how he loved music, especially 80s english classics, and how he feels that a lot of work is put into creating a song.
I totally agreed with him and concluded saying how every industry and every profession is more difficult than it seemed to be. That something may look simple but there is a lot of knowledge that goes behind it.

So, having told him about myself (not much really hahah), he began to tell me about his philosophies about doing a business.

Firstly, as a taxi driver.

He emphasized on the importance of service. How he started out always getting complaints from passengers but then learnt from his mistakes.

Now, he understands what routes to take; how to read passengers differently in order to give them a comfortable ride - how fast he drives, how wide a turn he makes, how much he should talk... And that the greatest satisfaction comes from a passenger telling him that it was the most comfortable taxi ride he had ever taken.

I was impressed, and at that instant, I realised too that the ride so far had indeed been very smooth (unlike other nights when I was just as tired but almost wanting to puke from the shaky taxi rides home).

By this time, we were exiting the expressway into AMK.
He went on to his second story...

Of a time when he operated a western food stall for 6 years.
In this story, I'll call him the 'boss'

He took over the stall from a friend without thinking too much. And went on to hire a cook, while he would do the mangement of the business.

Nothing to strange about that, except that the cook would always try to get the boss away. And when the boss returns, he'll realise that all the ingredients have already been prepared.

It was obvious that the cook was trying to hide his trade secrets from his boss.

However, it made the boss realise that: if you don't know the trade that you are in, you are going to be bullied by others.

The boss knew that some day, the cook would play him out. His business could not depend on this one cook alone.. he had to learn the tricks of the trade himself.

Cleverly, he bought containers in which he put the salt and other seasoning and always filled them up fully. He would sit far away having breakfast, watching the cook from far preparing the ingredients for the day. And after the cook was done, the boss would quickly measure how much seasoning was used up for what amount of meat.

The boss also practiced preparing the ingredients and cooking whenever the cook was off. Through time, and feedback from customers, he learnt through lots of trial and error.

One day, the cook really did play out on the boss. With an excuse of a stomachache, he simply didn't turn up for a few days. If the business was dependent on this cook, the stall would have to close for those days as well. However, the boss was ready and he didn't hesitate to do the cooking himself.

When the cook finally called back, the boss confidently told him that he only needed to come in the evenings to do the cooking for the stall, and that his pay would be cut by 40%.

Shocked, the cook quickly asked his boss who would prepare the ingredients if he were only to be responsible for cooking at the stall, during the evenings. With the greatest confidence, the boss replied 'me'.

I felt like applauding him at that time. Totally impressed by his wit.
But what left a deep impression on me, was how he learnt that he ultimately had to depend on himself for his own business.

This was a taxi driver with a difference.

The first taxi driver that has made an impact on my life, because his story is definitely one that will help me in my own ventures in future.

Know your trade, know your own abilities and if you are lacking in it, then find ways to work harder on it.

The taxi finally came to a stop in front of the stairs leading up to my block.

I handed over the money to the driver, but he was still talking. Seemingly uneager to end the conversation. And I too, seemed to have forgetten my weariness...

I thanked him whole heartedly, and wish that someday I might hop onto his cab again.
Because it was not just a comfortable ride, but a very enlightening experience

One word, priceless.

Breaking down the walls of glitz and glamour

2007-04-29T17:31:00.000-07:00

Many people want to enter this industry...

And those who feel they have easy access to it, get air-headed about it.

Its after all, the world of entertainment.

Why wouldn't there be glitz and glamour?

But tear down these walls and look further... the truth of it is beyond big bucks rolling in for the companies and highly paid staff.

As cliche as it may sound. The pie IS shrinking, especially here in Singapore.

We aren't like China, where money is mainly spent on marketing the product created by Singapore and Taiwan.

In China, they can hire new staff at their own will, each only tasked with one specific role.
(so haven't they ever wondered why 10 of them can be looking for just one of us here?)

Here, output is great, input isn't...

Just last week, we had a meeting with a certain non profit organisation.
At that meeting, a lot of things came to light for them.

You can spend a hundred thousand to produce an album. But for selling each album, you probably only get $1.50 each.

Do the math... that would mean you'll have to sell 66666 copies in order to break even.
That doesn't include all the other costs for events that collaterals that come along with it.

Think again, the next time you walk into a record store, and pay $18.90 for a CD.
I wouldn't even go into the topic of piracy...

Needless to say, the people from this non profit organisation who thought that they were because their work was for a good cause, low pay was a form of making a sacrifice.

And yes, they were shocked too that we don't get paid that much either.

We live for another form of religion.... one called passion.

People have always asked how I got into this job.
Its luck... and a belief
The rest of it is lots of hard work and lots of stamina, plus the need to cut down on expenses.

But to those who find it all so glamourous...
I say, think again. You really do have to LIVE for your passion.

And yes, there is such a thing as 'monday blues' in the industry as well.
Where possible, we too like to avoid working on weekends.

And sometimes, I wish I could turn my mobile phone off for just a while or even a day... but then I can never leave it out of sight and out of mind.

I don't even know how to end off this entry...

Just that... in every country, everyone has their own share of problems. We all see things in our own perspective. Here's just a share of mine =)

Why try so hard?

2007-04-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

Talk more, make more mistakes...

LKY in the spotlight

All I have to say is this...

Its not easy to be me ...

2007-04-28T03:51:00.000-07:00

Superman - Five for fighting

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me

Ripples in the water

2007-04-28T02:22:00.000-07:00

I wanted to blog.

But there are just so many things on my mind.

So many things I'm angry about. About the country, the ruling party, the policies and the system. Its stifling

Angry about being taken advantaged of at work.. underpaid and treated like invisble by 'big heads'.

But yet, getting satisfaction from the work I've done and completing each project.

Feeling satisfied from being able to disturb the equilibrium of the inflexible, only-wanna-save-their butts civil servants.

It only takes a pebble to create ripples in the still water.
We all have a part to play, and we should live it fully.

Probably, if I wasn't feeling so angry about these right now, I wouldn't even call myself alive.

My ultimate respect to all these 'pebbles' out there, making their own efforts in changing this world, for the good of others.

As we've always been taught....

Still water breeds mosquitoes

Look at the big fat mosquitoes we've bred!!

Listen or we sink into nothingness!!

2007-04-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

If you can swallow the contents of this article like its nothing, I salute you!

"If Singapore ever loses this kind of government of capability and integrity, of always looking into the future, planning ahead, it will just sink into nothingness and become an insignificant island" - MM Lee

"You want to quarrel about $20M over a 4 trillion economy? I say rubbish. Let's say the PAP crashes tomorrow, right? One boatload sinks, 3000 people dead. You have an election. You're going to reproduce this govt. No...." - MM Lee.

(emphasis mine)

Then my question is,
why quarrel about $290 in public assistance for the needy, over a $3million salary????

You talk about the 'big picture'.
Do you think someone struggling with daily life can see beyond how to make ends meet everyday?

Or maybe we really are the fools.
Because you are the wisest man in Singapore, Johor and the whole wide world!

"The biggest mistake any Singaporean can make is to believe that Singapore is an ordinary country like Malaysia, like Indonesia, like Thailand, the Phillipines, Vietnam, Australia, New Zealand, Denmark" -MM Lee, 22 April 2007.

Unfortunately, someone from Denmark doesn't think so...

http://www.mrbiao.com/blog/danish-citizen-responds-to-mm-lees-mediocre-government-comment.html

the four letter word

2007-04-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

Singaporeans FEAR

change (of jobs, of environment)
higher authority
bigger countries
the gahmen
taking risks
not having enough money
believing that they can make a difference
getting into trouble
losing things essential to basic living (jobs, property, money, reputation, 'face')
being different
themselves

Fear imprisons; faith liberates; fear paralyzes; faith empowers; fear disheartens; faith encourages; fear sickens; faith heals; fear makes useless; faith makes serviceable.

-- Harry Emerson Fosdick.

Take some time now...

2007-04-17T02:02:00.000-07:00

Not sure how many people will do this

But forgo watching a drama or a variety show on tv

Go onto youtube

Search for 'pay hike' and do watch these alternative voices

Be more concerned about the country you live in and know what you can do

(I believe there is some high paid civil servant, or maybe a team, working 5 days a week, keeping tabs of all blogs that mention this sensitive term called 'pay hike'. Well, if you found me, good for you. One more to add to your quota!)

Meritocracy is a myth

2007-04-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

You don't have to be in a top primary school.
Neither do you need to score straight As in your exams.
Won't make a difference if you are the teacher's pet.
Needless to say, hard work in University and getting into Dean's lists are quite redundant.

All you have to do, is pray that you get born into the right family.

There's no such thing as meritocracy, only descendancy.

By the way, I did a silly estimation about how much I can spend a year (bills, transport, food, medical bills, essentials and wants, plus a bonus holiday) versus my take home pay in a year.

And after some calculation, I have zero dollars left (except for whats growing away in the untouchable CPF, only touchable by the gahmen of course).

$_$

2007-04-15T01:49:00.000-07:00

Don't have much time to read online, except during weekends and this has been my greatest source of news and articles on the web...

http://www.intelligentsingaporean.wordpress.com/

Plenty of well written articles lately.. on what other topic than the $$$ issue that has taken the country by storm recently. Even though... its disappointing that not many people I know seem to be as affected as I'd hope they would be.

Why am I feeling so angry about this whole issue??

Nonetheless, I'm still hoping that posting these would prompt some people to read more and know more. Think for yourselves, and not just accept everything that is implemented.

Not this time at least.... because its been much too distasteful...

Which is why, I so appreciate this well written post by insanepoly, entitled so appropriately as STFU

http://www.insanepoly.com/blog/?p=325

I second, third and fourth it.... Can they just
STFU!!!

Enough already.
And stop wasting the time on national TV and the space in the national newspaper.

Singapore, you have done it again.

2007-04-10T01:59:00.000-07:00

world class society? barely...
so what is our dear gahmen doing??

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Taken from http://www.insanepoly.com/

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And yup, we can't have you say the word 'bomb' twice in the airport either...

Taken from http://singaporemind.blogspot.com/index.html

A FAMILY HOLIDAY RUINED BY ILLOGICAL SECURITY OFFICERS

Dear Mr. Foo,

My name is Sandra Tan (I/C number xxxxxxxx). It is with great disappointment and distress that I am filing a complaint to you with regards to my situation.
.
My family (including myself, my husband, my daughter, and my son) planned a Darwin holiday for the March school vacation period and was supposed to depart on 09 March. Unfortunately, we were put in a situation by the security officers at the departure terminal, that was way beyond our control and we were not able to make our trip. The following is an account of what had happened :
.
- I entered the Immigration gantry at about 7.15pm with my daughter (Belle Lee, 13 yrs old) to have our passport scanned and our hand carry luggage checked whilst my husband (Lee Ming Chong) stayed behind with my son (Caius Lee, 8 yrs old) at the ticketing counter to sort out my son's visa. After having mine and my Belle's passport scanned, we proceed to the security gantry to have our hand luggage and our bodies scanned. Belle passed the security gantry first, whilst I followed right behind her. A lady officer asked me to remove my boots for scanning, and I did as told immediately and put my boots inside the basket provided, for it to be scanned together with my hand luggage. I then proceed to the metal detector of which I cleared without the gantry beeping or detecting any metal objects. I was then asked to collect my luggage and my boots. In the mean time, Belle was throwing away a sweet wrapper and retuning to me and saw me putting on my boots. Belle then asked casually "Mummy, why do you have to remove your shoes?" Whilst putting on my boots, I replied her and said that "they (the security officers) are afraid that we might keep bombs in our shoes (which is why I need to take it off to have it scanned)"
.
Immediately, a security officer standing at the conveyor belt (Stephen S Naidira) who was standing in front of me said with a very rude tone "repeat what you just said". I clarified with him what he meant - is it for me to repeat what I had told my daughter? He said loudly again, to repeat what I had just said. So I did exactly what he told me. I said to him that "my daughter asked me why I need to take off my shoes, and I told her that you guys (the security officers) are afraid that we will keep bombs in our shoes." He immediately asked me to stand aside and said that he had to report it to his superior that I said the word "bomb" twice. Then an Indian lady (Sivamalar) at the customs started hurling at me and my daughter and said that I said the word "bomb" twice and it is against the law and I can be sent to jail and they are calling the police. She (Sivamalar) was so loud and rude and she shoved us to the side, and refused to listen to my explanation. In fact, she got so aggressive that another officer Ricky Lim (I guess it's her supervisor) had to come forward to stop her from further attacking me and my daughter verbally, and specifically asked Sivamalar to "shut up". I told Ricky Lim that I would like to know the names of his staff because their attitude and rudeness were simply beyond any acceptable level. Immediately Sivamalar got so angry and aggressive that she started charging at Ricky Lim and hurled "What?! What?! What?! She (she meant me) said the word "Bomb" twice, so what is wrong with arresting her (which is me) and we were told that if we heard the word twice, we will arrest!!" At that time, Stephen S Naidira came to me again to intimidate me further by asking me to repeat what I said earlier to my daughter again. I refused to repeat again then because I believe he was deliberately asking me to repeat so that he can count the number of times that I mentioned the word "bomb". I also believe that that the officers were deliberately provoking me by being rude and intimidating, in the hope that I will retaliate in kind, thereby making their unreasonable actions justifiable.
.
Despite my anger and the fact that my daughter was scared to tears by the situation, I knew I had to keep my cool. I sat aside with my daughter taking down names of the personnel involved on my mobile phone. I was told to wait for another officer of a higher rank to decide on the matter, and I was still hoping whoever the higher ranked officer that was coming will have the logical thinking to acknowledge that what I had said to my daughter was a simple, harmless private conversation taken completely out-of-context. At about 7.30pm, the Sergeant-in- charge, Amran Buang came. After I explained the full context of the incident to him, he refused to make a decision and decided to escalate it further to the Auxilary Police and State Police. He said that the word "bomb" is very sensitive and I should not have mentioned it twice. I explained to him that I did not know saying the word "bomb" is against the law, and I further explained that I did not say the word "bomb" in a threatening context to the officer, the word "bomb" was taken completely out of context as part of an answer to my daughter's question. Despite my explanation, he said he cannot make the decision and my case has to be escalated to higher authorities.
.
Meanwhile, at about 7.40pm, my son's visa cleared and my husband and my son came in through the customs. After knowing what had happened, my husband tried to talk to Sergeant Amran Buang, further explaining to him that we are just a family going on holiday and what I have said to my daughter had been taken out of context. Again, no one was bothered to listen. And again, we were told to wait for another officer with an even higher ranking. With time ticking away and at 7.55pm with no sign of the higher authorities appearing, we knew then our hope of boarding our flight had diminished. Whilst waiting, Stephen S Naidira (the security officer) gathered with a few security officers at the side, including Sivamalar to discuss how they should present their statement to the police when they arrive later to make sure that they are adequately covered, and that they are just following the rule and doing what they were told to do. They said by insisting that they are taking actions "by-the-book" , they would be ok. I hope by now you have a clear picture of the situation.
.
My kids were both crying then, with more and more policemen arriving which scared the living daylights of them, and with no hope to continue our holiday plans. I believe every action inside the terminal is recorded and I would insist that your review the CCTV recordings on that night to know that I am only stating the truth without exaggeration. You can also see that during the entire episode, I was not at any point defiant or rude or refused any further check by the officers, despite the infuriating situation that me and my family were put through. I know it is important to stay vigilant to protect Singapore. I have young children, I know how important it is, which is why I complied without complaining when I had to remove my boots for scanning. However, here is an obvious case of the security officers trying to get away with their rudeness and aggressiveness by taking things way beyond what was necessary, in the name of following the security protocol. They were really angry when I asked for their names from Mr. Ricky Lim, and they knew very well then that they can abuse their power to make things very difficult for me and my family. At around 8.05pm, we were informed by the Tiger Airways personnel that the plane will have to depart and they will off-load our luggage from the plane. At around 8.10 p.m., the State Police and other policemen arrived to take our statement. In the entire episode, the State Police and the SWISS PORT personnel were the only ones who conducted themselves professionally and offered us consolation and meaningful advice. They have also at some stages expressed their personal views that they acknowledged this incident was gravely mis-handled on the part of the security officers. The State Police further confirmed that there is no case against us, and they would just need to complete the paperwork. The Budget Terminal manager came to meet me and said that whilst he empathized with our situation, it is an airport security protocol and frankly, it's "just too bad" that this happened to us.
.
My statement and my daughter's statement only completed at about 10.45p.m. The counter service staff, Ms Nur Aisah Bte Ali Hassan was very helpful and advised us on our next steps. She was kind enough to ask us to return the next day to change the traveling dates and advised the additional charges involved. I am not given a report for this case, but my case number with the State Police is P/20070309/0015. I was already told by the State Police that the case is closed without further action. For the ordeal that my family had been put through, I would want an official reply from CAAS and all relevant authorities addressing the following : - Whether the security officers were trained to handle passengers with such bad attitude and rudeness and if such actions by them are condoned by authorities. I would insist you to refer to the CCTV recordings during the period of the incident. What actions would be taken by CAAS and all relevant authorities with reference to both the security officers, Mr. Stephen S Naidira ad Ms. Sivamalar, for their unruly behavior and attitude? Surely, characters as such do not belong to a national airport that aspired to be a world class traveling hub.
.
What actions would be taken by CAAS and all relevant authorities with reference to Sergeant Amran Buang, who had the authority to end this episode promptly, but instead decided to prolong our ordeal for no justifiable cause? Is it a protocol that even after establishing the facts that we, as a family poses no security threat, there is still a need to escalate the matter to the authority and have the State Police and other policemen carry out a full investigations only to end up in vain? Why is it that even at level of Sergeant, whom I reckon is better educated, experienced, and able to make logical sense of the whole situation, refuse to make a simple decision and end our ordeal quickly? Is this a Singapore civil service practice where decision making is pushed and shoved from one level to another no matter how obvious what the final decision should be from the very beginning? Whether all the officers concern are properly trained and competent to handle such situation. Besides hardware ( i.e. the protocol book), are they taught to apply the software (i.e . common senses)? Is it really a protocol that as long as the word "bomb" is mentioned twice by a person (once being asked to repeat by the officer) ??then no matter what context, tone, situation and profile of the person who said it, it would not be taken into consideration? What if my daughter instead of asking me a simple question about my shoes, decided to say: "mummy, according to news report, there are speculations that the recent Indonesian air crash may be attributed to a bomb inside the plane." Would your security officer would come up to her and ask her to repeat one more time, and she would be put under arrest? Your staff kept telling me that saying the word "bomb" in the airport is illegal and I can go to jail. They quoted newspaper examples of how people have gone to jail because of that.
.
I think your staffs need to be trained to understand and differentiate situations and circumstances. As far as I knew, the people that went to jail had VERBALLY THREATENED staff members in the aviation service or had DELIBERATELY caused public alarm using sensitive words. My case was clearly none of the above. Even if, I am saying if, indeed its illegal to mention the word "bomb" in the airport no matter what context, the person involved need to be warned ahead of time. You cannot arrest a person for committing something illegal when the person has no idea that the word is illegal in the first place. Your staff could have given me a verbal warning to say that such sensitive words should be refrained in the airport and I would have walk away remembering the warning. But instead, they decide to let the matter escalate further. Who is to compensate for the expenses that are already incurred and forfeited for this trip, and our emotional stress and duress during the entire episode? The total cost incurred, including air tickets, accommodation, and land tours amount to about $4,200. We had to put up with hours of humiliation with more than twenty policemen and officials surrounding us, questioning us, checking our luggage through and through. We had put up with never-ending questioning from different departments, and best of all, repeated checks on my same pair of boots.
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My kids were terrified, puzzled, disappointed and exhausted from this entire ordeal. My husband and I are left with one week of applied leave and no vacation and holiday to look forward to. I would like to state that not everyone that we came across in this episode had been unpleasant. I wish to take this opportunity to express my gratitude for the empathy shown by the State Police and the SWISS PORT personnel. I will be waiting for your reply. Please let me know when to expect it in email. In the mean time, I may seek legal advice for my rights and entitlement in this incident.

Yours sincerely Sandra Tan xxxxxx I/C : Sxxxxxx
Blk xxx, Tampines Ave. 5
#xx-xx, Singapore xxxxx
Mobile : xxxxx

Choking

2007-04-10T00:29:00.000-07:00

Felt like a whole bag of apples was stuffed down my throat today when I heard the news being announced.

Whats new you would think?
Nothing new of course.. given that its been the same for 30 over years.

The king keeps his seat warm, stands up for his son to take his place, and grows ever more complacent.

It still makes me feel sick in the stomach. So sick I feel like vomitting.

Don't wonder why people leave this country.
We love the country and our people, but not the way its run by you.

At a point, where more things get stuffed down our throats and we are running out of air... thats when we have to get out to breathe real air.

Everything here is a myth.
Its just sad that there are so many people who are happily and blissfully living in this myth.

Twisted logic

2007-04-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

Ministers who deal with billions of dollars cannot be paid low salaries without risking a system malfunction. Low salaries will not attract able men who are or can be successful in their professions or business.

Low salaries will draw in the hypocrites who sweet talk their wayinto power in the name of public services, but once in charge will show their true colour, and ruin the country.

This has happened in many countries

http://theonlinecitizen.com/2007/03/23/the-case-for-higher-salaries-for-government-ministers/

Dear mm,

Pardon me, if you feel that I don't understand politics or how the country is really run.
Of course, we are grateful for how our country has turned out. Nice, clean, disciplined, safe.

But enlighten me on this.

Money prevents corruption?
Money prevents greed only to attract the best?
If I'm a hypocrite, I'll only be attracted by money.

Then tell me please, why are there now so many less-than-desirable general practictioners who care less about a patient's health, than how many patients they see a day; how much medicine they can prescribe to 'milk' the most out of that patient's condition; and simply how almost every symptom can be diagnosed as a common cold?

Tell me too, why there are more teachers these days (because you guys said that pays had to be raised in order to attract more good teachers to the teaching profession) who are also less-than-desirable as teachers. I don't have to see how they teach, but look at how some of the younger generation is turning out...

In case anyone got me wrong, I don't mean all G.Ps and teachers in general. There are still good doctors and teachers out there, otherwise we would be in dire straits now.

The case is the same for politics. No?
Maybe these people are just in the wrong party.

If you are so sore about comparing your salary to what 'could have been' if you were a top lawyer, then get real, don't be a politician.

Just as how we are expected to work for our passion... being possibly the worst paid, in terms of skills and specialised knowledge, in this entire economy. If we are to complain about how we are poorly paid, we would just be told that this industry isn't suitable for us.

Go get a normal stable high paid job then.

Maybe being a maid in a foreign country could earn me more than I do now.

......your apartment will be worth a fraction of what it is, your
jobs will be in peril, your security will be at risk and our
women will become maids in other people's countries" - MM Lee

3 great teachers

2007-04-07T02:12:00.000-07:00

We had a long chat today after supper that we totally lost track of time.
We talked about life, about future plans, about how to break out of the capitalist system of this country, about what it means to be satisfied, and about how living life is a matter of perspective.

What it helped me conclude was one thing.
I was fortunate to have met 3 great teachers in my life.

Mr L.
The one who taught me theatre and gave me the confidence I never had in my life by helping me believe that I can be, beyond the person that I already was.

Ah Beng
The one who taught me about society, by questioning everything around me and not taking life for granted.

Uncle Z
The one who is teaching me everything I need to know about music and what it means to be succesful yet humble .

I hope you find that teacher in your own life too ;)

cold cold, go away

2007-04-04T23:21:00.000-07:00

everytime he returns, i fall sick.

maybe thats why he always thinks i don't stay behind much to help out.

but its alright. I'm not like people who only show up for work when the boss is around.

now, I just wanna get my health back in tabs. Because... it just sucks so bad, sneezing all the time, wherever I go, in front of everyone possible.

And worse.... my nose is sore and red.

can't this cold just go away?

Which side of the coin are you

2007-04-04T12:09:00.000-07:00

An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
Author : UnKnown

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Author : Winston Churchill

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
Author : William Arthur Ward

http://www.withfriendship.com/quotes/optimist-quotes.php?type=allinone

終於發行了 =)

2007-04-02T01:18:00.000-07:00

Recommended songs:

- 貓頭鷹
- 旋律 / Melodi
- 淋雨中
- 復活
- 蒼蠅的淚滴
- 訊號

Obscenity & Atrocity

2007-03-30T02:36:00.000-07:00

Prime Minister Lee shed figurative tears last week,saying that he and his ministers are underpaid: the floor rate for a minister should be S$2.2 million,but currently they're only getting S$1.2 million.

Adjustments will be made soon, he said.

Article by yb:

Singapore government promotes obscenity
- how else would you describe raising already high ministerial salaries?

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http://intelligentsingaporean.wordpress.com/ministers-salaries/

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"Low salaries will draw in the hypocrites who sweet talk their way into power in the name of public service, but once in charge will show their true colour, and ruin the country." - Minister Mentor

Article by Mr Wang:

Sweet Talking

Blind Horse

2007-03-25T15:59:00.000-07:00

PMP: pai ma pi

Since I joined this company, I've encountered one after another.
Ever so eager to please the boss and turns up only for work when the boss is around.

I like to call these people 'big heads' for the fact that they are really pretty egoistic. And if they see you as 'lower' or 'less crucial to their development', they treat you as an inferior. While the bosses are the supreme beings.

Please, just because someone is an admin, doesn't mean he or she is any less important.

Its pretty gross really. Watching all these happening around me. And for those who are truly working their butts off, not bothering to PMP, they just don't get appreciated as well.

Probably what has digusted me is not the fact that these 'big heads' exist. But the fact that the 'horse' himself can be so blind and deaf.

True, you may not be around all the time, and these 'big heads' try their best to put up their best performance in front of you. But it becomes too much when you believe an intern more than your entire army of staff who only has negative feedback on him.

However, thanks for helping me learn how not to be the type of boss that you are.
I will always remember this... to treat those who are of value, better and to appreciate them more.

I'm not working because of you. I'm only working for you.
This culture is just not me.

For now, at least what makes me happy is the great colleagues I have.
The pool sessions that we have.
The bubble teas that we drink.
The long walks back and forth to the toilet together.
All the times that we say we want to go karaoke, but never manage to find time to.
The BSBH work that we do as a team.
And the fact that we are always looking out for one another.
I love these people. I love the sula 4 =)

Yet, its us whom I know will not be there forever.

In the rain...

2007-03-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

3月30, 大家一起... 淋雨中

Back to reality

2007-03-20T03:11:00.000-07:00

The typhoon came and went once again. Nothing exciting really happened. But they somehow still left their mark in my life... no matter how many times they have come before, I still suffer from the same withdrawal symptoms.

Maybe its not them, but rather a weekend of having fun and late night suppers.

But after Sunday was over, Monday came again..
And it was back to work.

Didn't turn out as bad as I was worried it would be...

Boss' mood was very good today. Maybe when he discovers the things I have not done, or not done right, his mood wouldn't be this good =P

But as expected, I was flooded with loads and loads of work after the predicted meeting we would have each time he returns from overseas. The amount of stuff I have to chase for, the people who are chasing behind me..... its pure chaos.

I should feel honored that he believes I can handle this amount and variety of work.

production, release, admin, personal asst, marketing, event, design, video, backup singer, plus nanny-to-intern.... its me all rolled into one tight ball. No wonder I'm getting fatter hohoho.

Worked on till about 2am, played pool in between, before we went for prata. Yes, supper again! how many suppers am I to have within a span of just 4 days?

Whatever it is, working like a bull certainly got my life back on track.

I made a commitment to myself yesterday that I would make full use of what I have now. To achieve a little short term goal for myself. Its not a very big thing, but it would satisfy me great enough.

It'll definitely mean more to me than going to the airport just to wave bye to them.

When I finally achieve it, I will let you guys know about it =).
Not in this blog for sure, but over our meals (for the mafia) and over our jam sessions (for hx & yj).

Jia you jia you jia you!!

Random thoughts part 2

2007-03-18T17:12:00.000-07:00

Just after i posted that previous message, I was staring at this photo and it suddenly felt so peaceful... so uplifting.

I don't know why, but they just have that power.
It has been 7 years... the feeling only gets stronger.

It doesn't matter if they really are a rock band.
It doesn't matter if their music got better or worse.

What matters is, their spirit never died. Their laughter never ceased.
What matters is, they have always been and still is my greatest source of motivation and inspiration. The fire rekindles itself the moment I hear the ring of the distortion guitar and the pounding of live drums.

How I wish to find their passion in music that keeps them going for so long.
How I wish I had even a third of one of their talents to make me better than I am right now.
How I wish....

I want to find the joy and freedom I see in this photo (whether or not its self perceived)

Whether I find it, now depends on myself.

Random thoughts

2007-03-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

So many thoughts on my mind right now, that I don't really know what I'm feeling.

Happy? Confused? Excited? Lost?

The 5 guys are in Singapore now. But the excitment I had in the past is no longer there.

Don't get me wrong, I still admire them lots and crave desperately for every live performance there is. In fact, I crave more for a chance to work with them in the studio.

Maybe thats what got me where I am.

But right now, I'm starting to feel tired again. I love where I am, I love the people around me. But its a culture that I don't really like, its working ethics that I sometimes don't agree with, and its a conservative chinese hierachy that I find it had to adhere to.

I need to be able to make my own choices. I need to be able to control what I am doing.
Rather than depend on the opinion and ok of someone more superior.

Its not something that can be solved even if I try to adapt. The very fact that I'm a girl... I've already lost out in many many many ways.

Do I leave? Do I stay?
If I leave, where do I go?
Is there another place like this, in Singapore?

I realise I tend to feel real down, whenever my boss returns from overseas.

I know i've already put in more than 100% of my energy into working. And should he ever even doubt me again, I know its time for me to go.

The industry is scary. It changes people.
Not into the person I want to be.

I prefer to stay as I am. Maybe thats why the 4 of us sulas can get along so well.

How I wish I could just leave without feeling so unsure. I can't bear to leave, for so many reasons. Yet, I'm tired of being abused and taken for granted. Tired of doing so much, yet to get a rainfall of lectures and scoldings.

If I leave, its your loss. Not mine.

I have a new dream. I want to join their production company. Is that possible? =P
Anyone has ways of finding info on their company, please tell me ya?

=)

Life Cycle

2007-03-11T03:12:00.000-07:00

Not of a mosquito... I'm talking about humans. Singaporeans in particular ;)

Did this some time back, just for fun.
Thought it'll be a nice idea to represent ideas graphically rather than always purely in words (although it has quite a lot of words still of course haha).

This is a life cycle that I've been stuck in, only till the stage where I left Uni to find a job.
I'm out of the cycle now, because I don't want to follow it any longer. I hope I don't.

I'm not implying I'm an elite. I don't even like that word. I'm just a normal regular plain Jane ^____^ who earns below 2 thousand dollars a month despite having 2 degrees (a total loser to our garmen and the true elites)

Well... enjoy >>>>>

(don't squint! click for a bigger view)

How's life been?

2007-03-11T00:11:00.000-08:00

Once in a while, a message pops up on msn and a friend whom I haven't met up or chatted with for some time will always ask this question, "how's life!?"

erm... busy.

Its a somewhat acceptable answer to give.
Whether or not you really are that busy.

By saying that your life is not a busy one, would indicate that you are in working environment that is too relaxed; or that your work is too mundane.

Likewise, it could indicate that you have a boring life outside of work; that you have no interesting hobbies/activities or other goals and aims to keep you occupied.

What are we constantly busy with then?

Here's a sneak peak into my busy life:

Work:
Now till september, things will just be moving very quickly project after project, big and small. My brain's loaded everyday, thinking about what I have to do today, tomorrow, or what I need others to complete for me within the week.

In a nutshell, its always about me chasing people to meet deadlines so that other people don't chase me instead.

But no worries, I've recently updated my brain RAM to 2gig. It has helped me in rattling off schedules and updates of projects off the top of my head.

However, I do need an upgrade in my antivirus program to be able to constantly debug the problems that are hitting me all the time.

And firewall would be good too, to block off "tai chi" from others who are not doing their jobs, but expecting me to do it for them (when I don't even belong to their department!).

Work Part 2:
I've got a 2nd job at home now. No, I'm not moonlighting!

Not that I haven't had it all along, but things have picked up lately with our greater determination to have the mdmdnet website up once again (after 2 looooong donkey years).

So its back to the compilation of information, all the writing, all the jargon of codes that seem to float across my eyes when I try to look at them, and our little discussions over meals or on the train.

To cut this grandmother story short, yup! mdmdnet will be back..... soon.

Home:
Today happens to be my mum's birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!!!!!!!!!

We had a nice Japanese a la carte buffet dinner on Friday. Expensive but definitely worth it.
Had my lifetime's worth of salmon sashimi, plus lots of salmon in grilled form/fried form.
You could say, we were 'fished' out.
But I'm glad mum enjoyed it =)
Its all this lousy daughter can do for you, to celebrate your birthday.

And thats just about it. So does my life sound busy enough to be considered 'busy'?

I'm just looking forward to October now, for our planned trip overseas, where we will implement the plan towards the next step of our lives, as we begin our field research.

If you are thinking that we're getting married. Nah, don't kid yourself. Its absolutely the last thing on our minds.

Our plan, we'll just keep it to ourselves first. So nobody will be able to laugh the top of their heads off if they know about our silly plans =P

Maybe the next time someone asks me how my life has been?
The answer should be, trying hard to save money.

Why? In future, the truth will unfold itself.
May the force be with us.

Of dead poets and living minds

2007-03-08T00:19:00.000-08:00

From time to time, I remember this movie that I loved ever since I first saw it in Secondary school.

The first time I saw it, it caught me and prompted me to borrow a tape (yes, those were the days when you could actually rent tapes) of the movie.

Then, I watched it not just once more, but a total of 4 times.

There is just no other movie that has influenced me that much
And no other movie that teaches us so much about life and how to think differently, in order to find our true selves within.

Here's why:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HZ7GIVCmnUA&mode=related&search=

Sorry, the video doesn't allow me to embed.
But its worth watching... it just gave me goose bumps again. simply inspirational

my favourite scene for sure :)

I actually met a 'professor keating' in my own life.
He only taught me for 4 months, but it has been strong enough to constantly remind me of what I should do:
... to always look at things from a different perspective
... not to do things out of obligation if there are better things for you to do out there
... to always question what you see, what you read, and what others tell you (and not accept blindly or take others' opinions as the bible)

He doesn't know, but I secretly recorded his lectures haha. And I still keep them till now.

A few years ago, I read a book called "Tuesdays with Morrie".
It reminded me of professor keating and of my lecturer as well.
I read it cover to cover, non stop.

Carpe Diem, sieze the day!
We are humans, and we live because we have passion.
Because we have our own minds and only by discovering ourselves within, can we attain our full potential.

Rhetoric and theory is easy to speak about.
Putting it to practice is harder.

Nonetheless, a great movie like Dead Poet's Society never fails to get me going again and again.

How socially aware are you?

2007-03-05T16:11:00.000-08:00

Admist the glare of the shiny exterior our country portrays and the distractions we face from popular culture, is a whole can of worms lying to be uncovered.

And unless you bother reading the blogs of many excellent bloggers (I'm not talking about myself of course, I just don't have the commitment that these people have), you are never going to find it in the mainstream media.

Well, there may be at times a mention in the local media, but details are selective.
They choose what they want us to see or read.

Why are we always looking towards the glimmer of foreign shores - more concerned about what's happening in those countries.

How much do we truly know about what's happening in our own country?
Do we choose to be so blind about everything by simply giving the excuse that: 'aiya, Singapore is like that, what to do?' and then change the topic of the conversation to the hotest korean drama or taiwanese idol drama on television right now.

Why do we not love our own country?

For the benefit of those interested (I hope I can inspire at least one person to read further), here's a list of good blogs to read. These are definitely bloggers who deserve a lot of respect for their commitment in writing and raising awareness on local issues that are controversial.

Yawning Bread - http://www.yawningbread.org/
Mr Wang - http://mrwangsaysso.blogspot.com/
The Intelligent Singaporean - http://intelligentsingaporean.wordpress.com/
Molly Meek - http://mollymeek.livejournal.com/

And if you really can't take reading... here's a good one full of insightful comics:
My sketchbook - http://seijieiga.blogspot.com/

What inspired me to post this, is a recent article SH and I came across online.
This is something which happened right under our noses. But how many people truly knew about it?

Take time to read this (it affects both you and me):

=============================================

Note: this source is from http://matrixisland.blogspot.com
Actual source, I cannot verify but read on to see other articles on this same topic.

2007-02-08
阻医院移植亲人器官家属与警察发生冲突
刘丽仪　邓莉蓉

　　中央医院准备为一名中风脑死的病人进行器官移植手术时，家属以病人还有心跳以及“所祈问的神明说病人即将清醒”为理由，一再要求院方将手术延迟。院方不答应家属要求，结果家属于昨天凌晨在医院与到场维持秩序的警察发生肢体冲突。

　　起重机操作员沈智华（45岁）上星期四凌晨约4时在工作时跌倒，送院急救后医生诊断他因脑血管阻塞中风，上身轻微麻痹，但意识仍清醒。

　　沈智华的大哥沈智荣（49岁）受访时告诉本报，弟弟清醒后，一直不能相信自己会中风，又因为在一次要求下床小解被护士拒绝，加上双手又被绑的情况下，情绪因而激动。

沈母率家属跪求
院方挪后移植器官

　　沈智华上星期六陷入昏迷状态，医生在星期一傍晚6时20分宣告他已脑死。

　　院方随即根据人体器官移植法令，要求进行器官移植。不过，家属觉得沈智华仍有心跳，因为他们认为对沈智华说话时，沈智华还会流泪，并轻轻握住大哥的手，于是要求院方多通融两天，让他们转而前往祈求神明的保佑。

　　在沈智华69岁的母亲和10多名家属集体下跪苦苦哀求后，院方同意延至前晚（星期二）10时才进行器官移植。

　　后来，沈智华家属再请示神明，而被“告知”沈智华会在昨晚8时醒来，家属因此希望院方再通融到晚上8时。

家属警员对峙3小时

　　沈智荣说，院方基于弟弟的器官开始衰竭，而且移植手术都安排妥当，在前晚9时30分通知他和表哥两人，希望他们能劝服亲人，好让院方能及时进行移植手术。

　　他说，正当他们试图游说时，院方及警方分别要求所有家属到病房外和医生讨论。而他们一离开病房，立刻有五六名工作人员把沈智华从另一扇门推去手术室，而想冲上前抢人的家属则被挡在门前的警员阻拦，家属激动之下和警方发生了肢体冲突，除了推撞哭喊之外，沈智华的妹妹沈秋兰还咬伤一名警员的手臂。

　　32岁的沈秋兰说，院方这样的做法“形同抢劫”，而当时现场共有20多名警察和医院职员。

　　沈秋兰叙述，她在被警员挡在门外时，气愤不已地咬了警察后被反手铐住，并被关在一个房间内约30分钟。

　　家属跟警员对峙了近3小时，最后在院方职员和护士的安抚下，心情才慢慢平复下来，在昨天凌晨4时办理了手续，将遗体领出。沈智华捐出4个器官，包括两个肾脏和一对眼角膜。

　　警方发言人在接受本报查询时说，警方仍在调查这起事件。

=============================================

Here's the report by our nation building press - ST

Personally I'm 'impressed' by the very defensive title of the article.

Feb 23, 2007
ORGAN DONATION AFTER BRAIN DEATH
Medical team maintained constant contact with kin

WE REFER to all the Forum letters and reports in The Straits Times on the late Mr Sim Tee Hua's organ donation.

We would like to express our regret at the unfortunate incident and the trauma the family went through.

To our nurses, surgeons, anaesthetists and intensivists who have chosen the difficult and challenging career of saving lives, every life is precious. To all patients and their families, they give the same level of commitment and compassion.

Families on the verge of losing a loved one go through emotions of deep grief, a sense of desperation and yet hope for a miracle. This is especially so when the death is untimely and the patient young and seemingly healthy.

Naturally, effort is made to extend counselling and comfort to the family. We understand that the consolation of being able to save other lives through organ donation does not assuage the loss for these families.

We fully sympathise with the shock and pain the family of Mr Sim went through. Our medical team had maintained constant communication with his family from the time his condition worsened on Feb 3, two days after he was hospitalised for the sudden illness.

The team also informed the family about his poor prognosis, and pending the results of tests for brain death, the possibility of organ donation under the Human Organ Transplant Act (Hota).

When his condition deteriorated further, the transplant coordinators from the Ministry of Health's National Organ Transplant Unit (Notu) met the family and explained again the implications of brain death and the organ donation process. The family acknowledged and accepted the information.

In every organ donation situation, the process is extremely time-sensitive. Beyond a certain period, after brain death, organs may no longer be suitable, and the opportunity to save patients with organ failure lost.

In Mr Sim's case, the Notu transplant coordinators readily acceded to the first request to postpone the procedure for 24 hours, after brain death.

However, subsequent postponement would have jeopardised the organ recipients' chances.

The Notu transplant coordinators and hospital staff who were directly involved with caring for Mr Sim were deeply affected by this unfortunate incident as they had been torn between empathising with the emotions of his inconsolable family and the need to save organ-failure patients.

Nonetheless, both MOH and SGH will continue to find practical solutions to minimise the emotional distress of families and staff in such situations.

Dr Arthur Chern
Director (Integrated Health Services)
Ministry of Health

Professor Ng Han Seong
Chairman, Medical Board
Singapore General Hospital

=============================================

This is the report by Reuters (definitely more attention to detail).

So why was the part on the police taken away from our local media?

Scuffle for organs sparks donor debate in Singapore By Koh Gui Qing Wed Feb 28, 9:55 AM ET

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - As members of Sim Tee Hua's family sat at his bedside to pray for his recovery, they were horrified to learn that the hospital staff were about to turn off his life-support machine and use his organs for transplants.

The scenes that followed have shocked and upset not just Sim's family but many other Singaporeans, sparking a debate over the country's organ donor policy, which assumes that all citizens are willing donors, unless they have registered with the government that they wish to opt out.

Doctors at Singapore General Hospital had declared Sim brain-dead and said they could not delay switching off life support any longer because of the risk of damage to Sim's organs.

Sim's family had no objection to his organs being used for transplants but wanted doctors to wait one more day before turning off the life support machine.

But as Sim's 68-year-old mother and about 20 other relatives knelt weeping before the doctors, begging them to wait, nine police officers entered the ward and restrained the distraught family while Sim's body was quickly whisked away.

"The hospital staff were running as they wheeled him out of the back door of the room. They were behaving like robbers," said Sim Chew Hiah, one of Sim's elder sisters.

The Sim family's experience has prompted a wave of letters to the local media, with some people saying they would opt out in protest, and added fire to a debate about organ trading.

Lee Wei Ling -- a prominent doctor who is the daughter of Lee Kuan Yew, the first prime minister of modern Singapore -- last month urged the government to legalize organ trading, or the buying or selling of human organs for cash.

"Organ trading is frowned upon and usually not allowed in countries where political correctness reigns," said Lee in a letter to the Straits Times.

"If monetary incentive makes a potential living donor more willing to save another life, what is wrong in allowing that?"

Her views have some support from the public.

"If I can sell my organs, give my children a better life, and save someone else's life too, why not? Not everyone drives a Mercedes," said Khalid, 32, who gave only his first name.

Currently, anyone caught buying or selling human organs in Singapore may be jailed up to a year or fined up to US$6,500.

POOR DONORS

Those who oppose the trading of human organs say it promotes greater social injustice.

"To trade it and sell it for a 100 pounds, 200 pounds, or to the highest bidder, that is to prostitute your organ," said Dr Choi Kin, president of the Hong Kong Medical Association.

Such donors are likely to be the poor and uneducated people from countries such as Brazil and India, who can sell a kidney for as little as $1,000, the World Health Organization

And they are usually exploited by organ traffickers, who can charge wealthy clients up to $100,000 to $200,000 for a new organ, according to the WHO.

The chronic shortage of organs available for transplant is a global problem. In the U.S. alone, more than 6,200 patients die each year while waiting for an organ, according to the United Network for Organ Sharing, a U.S.-based non-profit medical group.

The shortage has forced doctors and governments to look for alternatives, such as the use of pigs' kidneys, hearts and lungs, or the purchase of human organs.

Many patients have also traveled abroad for transplants, notably to China, which has been accused by rights groups of harvesting organs from executed prisoners.

Since 1995, more than 270 Singaporeans have gone abroad, mostly to China, for organ transplants, the Health Ministry said.

DEFINITION OF DEATH

To ease the organ shortage, Singapore amended its Human Organ Transplant Act in 2004 to expand the pool of organ donors and the type of organs that could be donated.

Hospitals can remove the kidneys, liver, heart and corneas of all non-Muslim Singapore citizens or permanent residents when they die, unless they have objected.

Muslims can choose to donate their organs, as in Iran

Iran and Malaysia, although many believe that the dead should be buried with all their organs intact.

Doctors say a system which assumes all citizens are organ donors is necessary because even though many people are in favor of donating their organs, few actually come forward.

While many European countries, including Belgium, Denmark, Norway, Switzerland, and Spain, have laws similar to Singapore's Transplant Act, it can still be a sensitive issue.

When Brazil passed a similar law in 1998, it triggered a public outcry. The Federal Attorney later conceded that families could prevent the removal of organs for transplant.

Critics say laws which assume all citizens are organ donors are inadequate because the definition of death is debatable. Others are concerned that life-support may be turned off prematurely or that people may be unaware of the opt-out option.

"It should be up to the citizens to decide. These are their bodies, their organs, and therefore their decisions," said Dr Choi Kin. "If an accident should occur, it would be too late for them to opt out, even if they do not agree to donate."

In Singapore, some doctors had urged amending the Transplant Act, giving families the right to block such donations.

After the outcry over the Sim family's forced donation, the hospital and health ministry said in a statement that they would "continue to find practical solutions to minimize the emotional distress of families and staff in such situations."

Sim's kidneys went to patients who had waited six to eight years for donor organs, the ministry said.

His parents were offered five years of subsidized hospital fees -- and his family received a thank-you letter from the ministry for their "generous organ donation."

========================================================

So, here's the gist of it.

- Every Singaporean (except Muslims) is automatically opted in for organ donation.
- You will need to go fill in a form in order to opt out (more details from the MOH site).

I honestly admit, I didn't know about this at all till now.

I believe that there is no point keeping my organs if I'm really near death's bed.
However, if this system makes it compulsory for everyone to be opted in, without the family having the right to give a go ahead as to when the organ donation takes place, then its called an abuse.

Now its not a matter of taking away a substantial amount of your hard earned monthly salary for country investments. Its taking away what your family believes could be the slightest hope for you to return to them.

Now its not a matter of the police surrounding Dr Chee and his sister who are trying to march to the IMF meetings at Suntec City. Its police surrounding family members who simply wish to give one more day of life to the one they care about.

Personally, I was really stunned by this news. I hope those who read this now, will be too.
Question what you read in the main media, and take time whenever you can to read up what's on the blogosphere.

If you are a Singaporean, know the place you are living in.

不倒翁

2007-02-27T12:16:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder, if everyone is like me.

Does everyone worry about things at work all the time? On holidays, on leave, on mc, on the way home, on the way to work, in the shower? Always trying to think of what I might have not done right, or how to solve the current problem....

Does everyone sometimes feel that you just can't stand working where you are anymore, then a while later, you realise its actually not so bad after all?

======================================

I'm learning to be a 不倒翁
I really don't recall what its called in english.

But it simply means, bouncing up each time it gets hit.

Thats what I face almost everyday. From my boss, from the people around me, from the obstacles I have to stand up against. Its constant worry and in a way, constant fear, because everything depends on me to remind everyone (I really need to install a 2gig RAM and maybe the best processor - argh.. i'm becoming geek-i-fied by SH)

I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes I don't even know why I could make these mistakes. From inexperience? From not asking enough? For not checking thoroughly? Or just for being 'suay'?

Whatever it is, I'm learning a lot of things everyday through these mistakes.
And each time I fall, I have to pick myself up very quickly.

There isn't much time to recover. The next task stands ahead, awaiting me.
I have to remain clear headed.
I have to know at all times, what I am doing (in fact, what everybody else is doing. Not just in sg)
I have to be able to answer questions at the tip of my hands.
I have meet expectations. High expectations.

It makes me feel stupid sometimes.
But perhaps, there's just too much to learn in this circle.
And being under a boss who does almost everything in the world, even the most absorbent sponge couldn't absorb that fast.

Never have I had a more demanding job.
Everyday, its like a new mathematical formula to solve.
A new enemy to face and conquer.
A layer of tissue to add to my skin (to make it much thicker).

I want to be a 不倒翁. 打死也不會倒!
為愛而生, 為愛而拼, 為愛而死

A doraemon one is not too bad.... hahaha

b.a.n.d

2007-02-02T01:19:00.000-08:00

Found these by chance today...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVK6aBamsnw&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-ck0H1SotU&mode=related&search=

Watching it makes me wonder when I'll have the chance to watch them live.
There is just something very magnetic about hearing bands play live.

But it leaves me feeling empty as well.

Its been a long while since we jammed. Long time since we've had a proper full band.
Long time since we performed.

I miss the feeling of singing to a band. The feeling of everyone playing together.

I miss it so badly right now.
Hope the next round, and soon.... we can get our band properly together at last.

Silence engulfs me

2007-01-30T12:13:00.000-08:00

Today, I learnt that I'm selfish and childish.

Not only that, I don't know how to put myself in the shoes of others.

I'm a bad daughter too. I don't know how to share the troubles of my mum.

And I'm a bad employee who can't even put simple things right.

Worse, I'm a terrible friend as well who doesn't show up for gatherings.

Why am I even trying to achieve a dream, when reality itself is falling apart?

Don't ask me why. Don't ask me what happened. Because I can't say.

I have to put on a mask to appear happy and positive, when I wake up tomorrow morning.

No wall will hear of my problems.

Every night feels so long.
Life feels too long.

I'm afraid to close my eyes and force myself to sleep, only to wake up and realise I didn't really fall deep to sleep....

昨天太近明天太遠
默默聆聽那黑夜

Unconscious Consciousness

2007-01-28T17:33:00.000-08:00

This long month of emotional twists and turns has got me more resolved in my goals.

I know even more for sure that I wouldn't be in this job forever.
I would never be satisfied being a worker.

I want to exercise my own beliefs.
I want to create something truly of my own.
And through it all, I want him to be with me.
This will be our future.

I don't strive to be at the top of this ladder.
Simply because I don't like the life of working hours on end alone.

Yes, I still love the vitality and challenges that events bring to me.
I love the feeling of things being within my grasp and the ability for me to make decisions that work without being prematurely curtailed.

Yet, I know I will never be able to let go of music in my life.

For me, my goal is clear.
Now, its just a matter of when.

But in the meanwhile, we have so many issues in life to settle before we can move onto this stage - financial, family, relevant experience.

Everyone wants a job doing design, music, arts, entertainment.
I used to be the same.

People would ask me what I wanted to do when I decided to leave my honors course.
And my answer would be, I don't know but its gotta be related to music.
It sounded stupid to many.
Just as how so many people who give me this same answer now, would sound foolish to me.

Its a complicated industry. Especially in a field dominated by men...
There definitely is the conventional bias.
There are alot of things to put up with, a lot of expectations to meet, alot of shoes to fill and even more things to learn everyday....
when you are at the bottom.

Don't get me wrong. I love the place I'm in.
I enjoy the experience I'm getting.
I love being surrounded by music and the dynamism of it all.
But somehow, there is something else that's beckoning me.

Humans are just so greedy creatures, aren't we?

Its no harm to dream, but its got to be a practical dream.
In this dream, you'll have to accept that passion will feed you more than money will.
You'll find that men are favoured more while girls are expected to not just know what the men know, but also meant to handle all other mundane tasks.
In this dream, you still have to know where you are headed and plan each day otherwise you get phased out by the queue of people trying to find their way in.

So... when will the day come for me to move on?

January 2007

2007-01-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

Can it get any more worse as February comes?

Its been a never ending downhill ride for me. Anything that could happen, has happened.

Everything that I don't want to happen, has also happened.

It started with SH's relapse.. the 2nd time I get on an ambulence with a loved one inside. That was over, but everyday I still worry about the same thing happening at any time, any place, without warning.

Then I fell very sick myself... had the most mcs ever in my life. Good rest but left alot of thing unsettled at work and brought abt another chain of mishappenings.

Right after that, pep actually became sick too. She's never been sick all her life. But it was a good thing, she recovered after 2 days.

What else could happen right? Things oughta get better now, but it got worse instead.

War begun. Tables were turned. There was confrontation, there was denial, and now there is deadly cold silence. It will go on like this everyday for the remaining days of my life, unless there can be a miracle really.

And then the unfortunate incidents of what's now happening at work. Everyday I worry because there's really no room for any mistakes. Every little thing that I do, I'm afraid to get shot for it... but this time, it involves a greater complexity. I can only pray and hope that nothing bad happens because of it. If the cat is let out of the bag, I guess there might just be the end of the job for me.

The burden is really growing. Emotionally I'm tired.
I don't like to live my life in worry.
All I want, is to be happy.
But why is life becoming so complicated?

Sometimes, I can't really smile from my heart these days.

The war has begun

2007-01-24T18:42:00.000-08:00

we knew it would come to this sooner or later.
how long can anyone feign ignorance?

its not the best feeling in the world.
if we had a choice, we wouldn't have taken that option we did yesterday.
it just had to be done.
without confrontation, there would be no conclusion in our hearts and minds.

doesn't matter what the truth is.
doesn't matter if we really know the facts and details of everything.
what matters is that we know, the heart is cold.

don't you know, money isn't everything?
don't you know, who will be with you at the end of the road?

we aren't that heartless.
but we just grew tired of acting stupid.

one day, i believe, you will know.

and in that time, we will go on leading our own lives.
life is better spent caring for those who really care for you.

don't be greedy. and please don't be so childish either.
appreciate what you have.
the day will come, when you will regret.

2007 - the year of the bad virus

2007-01-15T12:22:00.000-08:00

there's a virus circulating in the whole office...

it hit the 1st among us at the dawn of the new year. And she's still sick up till now.

at the moment, the number of sick people has gone up to maybe 6 or more

its not like the regular flu virus because I'm experiencing it myself now...

I've kept myself strong for so long but finally my body still succumbs to it

whatever it is, i hope the virus goes away so that all of us can regain our health again soon.

nobody likes being sick

maybe we should all evacuate the office for a week =P

And I still haven't found, what I'm looking for

2007-01-15T02:12:00.000-08:00

How many times have we gone about life striving for something, thought we have achieved that goal, then realise its not actually what we really want in life?

Probably too many to even count...

I have in my own, gone through so many ups and downs, made several sacrifices, wasted quite alot of money in that process, upset my family, made people around me go through emotional rollercoaster rides together with me, just to go in search of that sacred "WHAT I WANT"

I used to know what I wanted. At least I thought I knew.

I was happy when I found it, but now at times, I've become unsure.

Especially after that day of trauma, I realised how fragile life really can be.
You can lose someone you love at the very blink of an eye, without any warning.
One second he's talking to you, the next second, he can be gone.
You wouldn't even have time to regret or say goodbye.

Life is unpredictable, which is why it makes us unpredictable.
And its what makes our goals and decisions change all the time.
We will never really find what we want.

But at this point of time, I have come to realise that all I want is a happy life with him.

This industry I'm in, it can be exciting and enriching
But I'm not really in for the glitz and glamour of it all
I'm not interested in creativity for the purpose of selling
Neither do I have any hunger to climb to the top

I'm still glad that I've had the opportunity that many others can only hope for
I'm thankful to him for believing in my potential when I myself have no confidence whatsover
And I'm eternally grateful for all of them to had the patience to teach me so much

Don't worry, I'm not leaving yet
Opportunities like these don't come by that easily
I will treasure it...

But there will be a day, when both of us will know...
Its time for us to move on and live a life of our own together
Doing something and creating something that is our own
Something built out of our own beliefs and working to our own expectations

That will be a life that belongs to us

Finale... back home

2007-01-07T20:16:00.000-08:00

1st January – It’s a May-Day

Close to 12.30am, I finally squeezed my way out of the massive crowd of people and aimed in the direction of where I had earlier seen a queue for the auto session.

To my confusion, that queue was gone, and instead there were just so many people sitting all around and once again going in many different directions. I felt lost but perhaps there really was an angel looking down on me that day. It kept me safe and it guided me to the right places…

五月天簽名會！！還沒拿號碼牌的，請到聖誕樹下索取！
All of a sudden, I saw someone hold up a loud hailer and began shouting…

It captured the attention of the crowd of people around me, including a group of girls who began exclaiming 聖誕樹！快! It didn’t matter that I didn’t hear the first announcement clearly, because it was this bunch of girls that woke me out of my confused state. Yes, Christmas tree, that’s just where I need to go to! But where is it?

Didn’t take me much effort to find it, because the very same group of girls didn’t take more than 1 sec to react and dash with top speed towards the right (it would be what we call, cheong ah!!). I followed them as quick as I could and spotted the Christmas tree when I turned the bend. It wasn’t easy following them because of the crowd also coming towards us in the opposite direction. I soon lost them but got to the tree eventually.

Under the tree were 2 booths, one to obtain the number tags and the other to purchase albums. Then I caught sight of a familiar face… it was SH’s look alike… hahah.. poor thing, the whole company must be out right now just for this one event.

I eventually got my number tag after following the queue around 2 corners of the small tent and feeling it would be stupid to just follow till the very last person (as it would only get longer and longer), I cut my way into the middle of the queue hahaha (man I would never do that again). Please forgive me, whoever was behind me.

I was number 1865. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that number. What did this number mean? What did the number tag mean? Was I supposed to find who was before me and sit in queue until my turn? These questions might have sounded stupid to the local fans there, but this was truly a situation we would never experience here. I clutched the tiny piece of paper tightly with all my life, afraid to lose it and face the consequence of ending up behind another 1000 or 2000 fans! (it never left my hands as I roamed around the entire area wondering what to do).

Once again, my angel watching over me helped me catch sight of a couple holding the numbers 1864 and 1863. I decided to stalk them and evaluate if I should try to befriend them. Things won’t go too wrong if I could keep up with them.

They didn’t head towards any queue as I would expect but instead, found their way towards the stage. At that point, I was still wondering if I needed to queue and maybe following them was a wrong choice. Yes, stupid again.. I know =(. But I thought, heck… since the stage is just before me, why don’t I just begin taking some photos of the whole event.

1 am came．“讓我們來歡迎台灣著名ＤＪ黃世杰！” A voice announced through the loud speakers. The crowded cheered as shijie went on stage. What he was talking about at that time, I didn’t really remember. All I could recalI l was him calling for the first 50 and then first 100 to queue at the left side of the stage. That was also the point that I finally understood their queueing system. If you still haven’t got it, it meant that with your number tag, you just have to wait till your number is called in batches and you will have your turn to go up on stage for the auto session.

As shijie welcomed md on stage, everyone’s cameras and phones were raised high up in the air. I did the same too, trying to at least capture a photo for memory-sake but it really didn’t help that the stage was built so low and all I could capture, were people’s heads… They didn’t talk for too long and promptly started with the auto session.

For a good half an hour or so, I really didn’t know what to do or where to go. I didn’t dare to wander too far off, because I wouldn’t be able to hear the progression of the queue. I squatted at the side of the pillar trying to call SH once again.. but still, there wasn’t any signal; I walked around the area surveying others who were seated comfortably but everyone was in groups and it wasn’t nice to invade the space of others; other fans asked me where I got my number tag (that if you remember I was clasping tightly in my hand still) and where to queue; I tried to catch glimpses of md through the mass of heads and people moving around on stage. That was when I told myself…. Enough. I really ought to find somewhere else to sit down and replenish my energy with food and drinks.

I returned in the direction of where I remember the mobile toilet was and found myself in a little park where there weren’t many people sitting. Concluded that it would be a good place for me to eat and drink, as well as make a call back to Singapore yet not attract too much attention to myself.

And as luck would have it, I finally got through to SH at 1.30am. While I was there, I also had a 飯糰 and gave a call to Nic whom I had promised to call, since the mafia were all at QH’s house that night. As time passed, I decided I should make use of the mobile toilet not far away from me and then return to the stage to check out how the queue was progressing.

Now… mobile toilets are usually not interesting topics. But my life just got more interesting simply by queuing for this toilet. It was shaped a lot like a caravan (not those individual cubicles that we are used to here). A queue of guys and gals formed outside the toilet and I was the 3rd in the queue when 2 vehicles loaded with tubes and pumps stopped along the sides of the toilet. This created a flutter among the people in the queue who began to guess if the tubes were meant to pump water into the toilet or worse yet…. It would mean that the waste was about to be pumped out from the toilet!

They weren’t wrong, because both of what they guessed, did happen =_=. Very very ‘swiftly, someone dragged a tube into the toilet and began washing.. water came gushing down the steps and so did tissue paper and all sorts of rubbish. The 2 girls in front of me began to take steps backwards, leaving me in front of the queue instead. That was when, another man very un-swiftly dragged a large grey tube to the front of the queue and opened a latch in which he stuffed the tube into. Let me emphasize that as he dragged these tubes, they were wading around dangerously close to the feet of the people in the queue. You just wouldn’t want to be hit by one of those….

Because within seconds, waste was being pumped out of the toilet. Gosh… you wish they made those tubes less translucent…. I guess I don’t really have to elaborate from there.

At the end of the saga, the 2 vehicles rolled away, leaving the latch where the waste was pumped out of, opened =_=. Then the guardian angel came once again, in the form of a lady who came by to tell the queue of people that the toilet in the government building just opposite us was unlocked and we could use that instead.

………….. you mean, we queued up and had a good lesson on how mobile toilets are cleaned, all for nothing?

This was my new year’s day. Truly interesting and waste… errr, adrenalin pumping haha.

With that over, I made my way back towards the stage area. The queue had only reached 400. Didn’t take long before I was sitting back at the park again, but the morning was getting a little more chilly.

That was when I began to hear shijie’s voice in the distance, talking more than usual. Apparently, it turned out that md had gone on their first break and he was doing what he did best, entertain the crowd.

And he did draw in quite a large crowd haha. Just to share with everyone the gist of what he did and said in that break time…

1. 1,2,3 大家喊，五月天加油！
3,2,1 就要喊，油加天月五! (later when md got back on stage, he tried it with the crowd and masa stood up instantly to ‘k’ him hehe)
2. 買ＣＤ送門票，有沒有這樣做過？有噢! 可是還是要做！
3. 5minutes later… 買ＣＤ送門票，有沒有這樣做過？有噢! 剛才也有說過嘛
4. 誰敢留下來和我看日出？只要還有一個人還在，我一定不會走！．．可是不要害我噢，不要簽完了還故意不走，我也是人，也需要休息好嗎？

I wished I could video the whole thing or stay in front of that stage throughout just to see what else shijie had to say, because it was simply hilarious. When md came back on stage and resumed the auto session, the large crowd which had gathered to watch shijie, then dispersed and so, I went in search of a new place (at a closer proximity than the park) where I could rest yet be able to not miss the announcement for my number.

I soon found a nook in front of a side door of the department store where already a lot of other fans were sitting and leaning against the walls of the building. That nook was fantastic because it was a warm haven away from the cold wind. But still, it didn’t fail to get colder as time passed. Covering my neck with my warm warm scarf and clutching on to a 暖包, I dozed off….
I was asleep yet semi conscious… the number went from 800 to 1,400…
In between, I wanted to give up and return to the hostel, but I couldn’t. I had to do this for SH, for the mafia and for the fans in Singapore who couldn’t make it to this event.
I noticed camera men taking photos of the people sleeping (and probably me too.. yucks..) as well as staff with video cameras in hand…
Ignoring them, I dozed off again… and the next thing I knew… I heard them calling for the numbers 1900 and below to queue at the side of the stage.

It was 430am. I didn’t get up instantly because I was still in a daze, from having suddenly woken up. I was also shivering inside and my teeth were slightly chattering. I got up and tried to warm myself up before I found my way into the queue.

Other fans had already quickly formed a queue, including those 1900 and above. I couldn’t locate the numbers that were close to mine because the queue was moving so fast, so I had to ask a fan whose number was 1889 or so, to let me in front of her. She wasn’t too happy about it but she relented anyway.

Before I went up, I rehearsed in my mind what I should say to them. Because I knew that the time on stage would be very short as compared to what we were used to in Singapore, I was ready to talk as fast as I could and get the essential points across.

Masa was the first in line. Wished him happy new year and as I told him, 辛苦了! He chuckled, saying 不會啦!

Next was Stone, I so wished to congratulate him on his to be born baby but it was too hard to say in that short a time. I looked at him sincerely and wished him happy new year, with plenty of good wishes in my heart.

Then came Monster. The moment he looked up, all the words I had rehearsed, quickly came out from my mouth But at the end of it, after I had shaken his hand and already moved in front of Ming, he suddenly turned to me and said in his most sincere voice ever, to send his regards to SH =)

When Ming looked up, I was at a loss for words because what Monster said, was still ringing in my brain. Quickly, I wished him Happy New Year too (and I’m so sorry I was in a daze!!)

Then came Ashin, and I had intended to tell him the same thing I told Monster but just that this time it came out in a whole different order and I think I was starting to talk nonsense. He simply smiled, listening to me crazily talking like a chipmunk, before he wished me Happy New Year too before I soon found myself in front of the staff who was next to him.

And as though it was automatic, I wanted to reach out to shake her hand (when all she wanted from me was the number tag). She was beaming and so was Ashin (they were probably laughing in their hearts haha), at my blur actions. Feel awkward about it, I grabbed onto my inlay and stepped quickly off stage.

Without thinking much, I continued walking in the direction of the road as though I needed to get out of there immediately after embarrassing myself, argh…
I never looked back towards the stage, nor did I look at the autographs on the inlay. And neither did it occur to me to want to stay behind to catch the first sunrise of 2007 with md. All I wanted to do was get on a cab as fast as I could and return to the hostel.

I walked all the way out to the main road where other people were not waiting, and hopped on a cab almost instantaneously (to the dismay of a couple who was waiting at another intersection).

Back at the hostel, I had a chat with SH and Shir over msn while feasting on a bowl of instant noodles. I looked carefully at the inlay with the autographs that I had spent more than 3 hours waiting for and I thought back about what had happened at the 2 events that I stayed behind for; the reason why I was welcoming 2007 on my own.

As I went to bed at 6am, I lay in disbelief at how fast the actual auto session with them went. I think it was over from Masa to Ashin in about 10 to 15 seconds? It truly makes me appreciate being a fan in Singapore. The opportunities to see them are less, but the distance in less and the feeling is different.

At 9am, I awoke to ready myself for my flight back home. I’m finally about to return home. Goodbye Taipei, and goodbye to the wonderful experience I’ve had in the past 5 days… an experience I’ve never had before.

The last meal I had before I boarded the plane... 便當 + 綠奶茶

I will be back.
Taipei will never be the same again =)

Prelude to the finale

2007-01-07T03:01:00.000-08:00

31^st Dec – THE Day

I awoke today realizing that I am finally really on my own (with no more of my sg colleagues around). It was 11am, I had an hour to get ready, made sure I had packed up whatever I needed to, then check out of the hotel.

Hmm… 11am, my boss should be back in Singapore by now. And I would have been too… had I not changed my own return flight. But no more regrets now since I made that fateful call to C (dad’s SQ friend in tpe) to extend my stay by another day.

All I needed to do, was be brave, be independent, be happy and make sure I have enough cash with me till I got on the plane the next day. Plus not get crushed in the much anticipated countdown concert =P.

Before I left Singapore, I contemplated real hard as to whether I should stay on, since my flight had already been pushed back from 30^th to 31^st because of the additional meeting. I couldn’t make myself leave Taipei and miss the countdown which was only hours away. And especially after Shir told me about the auto session that would be taking place as well. If I got onto the flight on the 31^st and came back wondering what it would have been like if I didn’t stay for just one more day, it would have been a new year full of regrets.

I thought hard as to who I could look for in Taipei to attend the events with. Didn’t really know any taiwanese md fans… so the very 1^st one that came to my mind was Linda. Immediately I sent her a mail through ptt and her email as well before I set off that morning for Taipei.

Due to the earthquake, she could only reply me through ptt, of which SH forwarded to me through email instead. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make it to both events that day but from her tone in the mail, I could tell that this was someone I would love to meet some day and just have a nice chat with her. Such a nice person she is =). Hope we have more fate the next time I drop by Taipei.

Resigned to the fact that I was very much at my own defenses now, I did my homework to prepare myself for the big night. I watched the news daily and learnt that the MTR would run on till 3am that day; I checked out an extended MTR map for details on which station would be the best place to take a cab from, to my hostel and of course, I made sure I kept carefully at hand the directions from the city to the hostel.

Checking out of the hotel, I paid a hefty internet and phone bill (not mine though) that cut my cash by more than half. Well.. after I paid, I wondered why I didn’t pay it by card. Anyhow, I just had to draw my money from an atm later that day, otherwise I would probably have to just hibernate my day away.

The hostel wasn’t too tough to find because I was just there the day before. I opened the door carefully, not wanting to wake anyone who might be sleeping. As I entered, I noticed that all the room doors were closed and thinking that I ought be considerate, since all those who were probably staying there were actually guys and it wouldn’t be good to just open the doors to check if anyone was in. Hence, I tucked my luggage around the dining area and turned on the TV (at a very low volume) and started munching into my 飯糰 ﹠蘋果牛奶 (all the while trying to make as little noise as possible).

Being tired from being lack of sleep for so many days, I dozed off on the sofa (wishing I could just go into the room and lie on one of the comfortable beds there). Not able to have a proper sleep, I thus decided to go out shopping earlier than I had planned.

Well, the funny this was… that night when I returned to the hostel at 7pm to dump out whatever I had bought, I realized that everything in that house was left as it was, since I went out earlier on. Then it dawned on me…. That there wasn’t anyone at all in the house, even when I got there in the morning! Gosh… how stupid could I have been.

Knew my Malaysian colleagues were leaving that day, but just wasn’t sure of the time. And I had innocently assumed that my Taiwan boss who stayed there long term, would be there. But why didn’t I think that it was the holidays? And if you had a couple of days of holidays, plus it being the last day of the year, you would choose to return to your own home? Stupid, stupid, stupid…. So much for being considerate haha.

Rewinding back to the afternoon where I went out shopping, I hopped on a cab towards Taipei main station. Had an interesting talk with the driver =)

Ｄriver: 到台北車站坐火車嗎？

Ｍe: 不是，約了朋友到地下街走走 (lie #1)

Driver: 今天人會很多．走走了晚上看跨年嘛．．

Me: 嗯，對啊，湊熱鬧

Driver: 一個女孩子很危陷噢．．有男朋友嘛？叫你男朋友載你回家

Me: ……..

Driver: 如果是我的女朋友，我一定把她送到家門口．所以一定要叫你男朋友送你噢

Me: ……. (冷笑著)

Driver: 其實我也住內湖，可是我晚上就不開車了，要不然可以給你電話．．跨年後打給我，我可以載你回家．

(就這樣，和他聊多後，我終於認不住，說出了這句話．．)

Me: 其實我不是本地人．．我是新加坡人

Driver: 那你男朋友是在新加坡啊？不好意思．．那晚上一個人回家要小心

Ｍe: 嗯，會和朋友一起去．．(lie #i-don’t-know-what-by-now)

Later he continues chatting with me about Singapore, about how he’s been here before and he has a friend here by the surname of Ng, who is an engineer working in Jurong.

Very soon, we arrived at my destination.

Ｄriver：下次我到新加坡可以找你噢

Me: 好啊，謝謝你．．

(Biggest lie of the day. I said this feeling so fake about it hahaha.. but what else could I say?)

At that instant, I never hesitated about stepping out of the cab and onward to my shopping trip.

I maneuvered my way around the familiar rows of shops doing my long anticipated shopping but it wasn’t very fruitful. But I had a bowl of pretty good 炸漿面 , passed by a more than familiar ‘face’ or should I say a head covered with a big basket, playing a flute and dressed in a traditional Japanese costume (someone Nic, SH and I have come to know as the basker or basket-busker) before I continued on to 西門町.

The MTR station was really crowded even at this time. Queues to buy tickets were snaking through the station, which made me glad I had the stored value card from my previous trip here. There were station staff dressed in lime green vests and holding starwars-like poles located strategically around the station, to make sure everything was in proper order.

Needless to say, 西門町 was also swarmed with people. The famous food places all had snaking queues as well which totally threw me off the idea of even wanting to eat them. Did some shopping and made the convenience store shopping my last stop so that I could get my bottles of more than excellent 祿奶茶，and some food and drinks that I would need for my battle later that night. Before I hopped onto the cab back to the hostel for the 2^nd time, I decided to buy dinner back to eat in the comfort of the house.

Watched TV and surfed for news on the ongoing countdown as I dug into my 蝦仁庚 (which turned out to be a disappointment). It was slightly past 7pm and the countdown show had already started. I called SH as I was getting a little nervous from the fact that time was ticking away to the event that was the reason why I stayed here alone. And nervous from the fact that the news was reporting on how bad the situation was there, with people fainting and all traffic in the area coming to a standstill.

My dad soon dropped me a sms asking me to remember to bring my medicated oil. That reminded me I had to 武壯 myself. Immediately, I went off to pack my bag, filled it with the essentials, including:

-->medicated oil

-->inhaler

-->scarf

-->mineral water

-->lots of tissue paper (for toilet use)

-->food

-->暖包

-->MD CD

9pm soon came, and I didn’t want to wait any longer, just in case the traffic was really bad or the worse case senario was that I would get lost anywhere. The plan, was to take a cab out to 昆陽 station, where I could hop onto the MTR to 市政府.

As I got out of 市政府 station，I tried to follow the crowd hoping that majority would be heading towards the countdown concert. So, around the bend I turned with a huge group of people, but soon, to my worst fears… everyone started to go in various directions….

Some parked themselves where a huge group of others had already gathered, with a good view of 101, in anticipation of the fireworks. But…. I wasn’t there just for the fireworks. I had to find out where the concert was.

I listened intently to the night air… believing that every large scale concert would be noisy enough to hear at a distance if I was close enough to it.

What a confusing environment it was, people sitting everywhere, walking everywhere, people selling lightsticks, people queuing up for md’s auto session….

I wrecked my brains hard trying to recall the exact spot of 市政府 and from there, it all became a matter of following my instinct. As I walked past the Mitsukoshi dept store, I vaguely heard the sound of music blasting through speakers. With a glimmer of hope, I quickly made my way in that direction and spent a good 10minutes wading through and tip-toeing through (trying not to step) a whole parade square of people sitting down. Gives a new meaning again to the phrase ‘路是人走出來的’ for sure…

To my dismay, it turned out to be small side stage with a band playing. At that moment, I made a critical decision to just walk towards the direction of 101. I just couldn’t accept it if I stayed on in Taipei and it turned out I missed md’s countdown show because I couldn’t find the concert stage hahah. That would have been the ultimate disastrous ending to this adventure.

As I got closer to where I believed 市政府 should be, I couldn’t have been happier to hear music and spot the balloons I had seen on TV just a while earlier at the hostel. My footsteps quickened, hoping to squeeze my way into the crowd quickly so that I wouldn’t miss their performance. At the same time, I hopped I could make it in far enough to have a good view as far as possible. It was 10pm by then.

Moving into the enormous crowd of people proved much easier than I imagined it to be. After all, the logic is simple… just go with the flow. Within less than 15 minutes, step by step, avoiding a pool of water where everyone was precariously walking at the edge of, I found my way to the left side of the stage (let me state that it was really far away from the stage. You can judge from the photo below =)) but I positioned myself where I could catch glimpses of the stage, yet be able to view the 2 huge side screens without a problem.

Satisfied with where I was, I didn’t want to move in much further to save myself the trouble of getting out for the auto session after the performance, I began the quiet wait for md to appear on stage.

11pm finally came, my toes were beginning to hurt from being in situ (couldn’t make much movement in that large crowd), but md still didn’t appear. They were apparently stuck in the jam of vehicles and people outside the venue. We later learnt that they stopped at a distance outside and ran for 10minutes, the rest of the way in.

11.30pm… md’s video appeared on screen. The prelude to WAES played aloud to the screaming crowd who were really mostly there to catch md’s performance. Then they came on stage and I desperately tried to call SH, so that I could let him have a chance to listen live. I called, and I called…. Network busy… dead dial tone… and I called.. still nothing. WAES was already almost halfway through.. I decided to give up on calling and start recording instead. Darn! How could I forget to record?

Because the concert was meant to be like a live recording for TV, there were breaks in between songs for commercials and it kinda spoilt the whole continuity and feel of a good band performance. Before they could finish their last song, md had to stop their performance because it was time to prepare the audience for the countdown to 2007.

Local politicians appeared on stage, the crowd cheered for the new mayor and everyone said and waved their hellos to the mayors of other counties who were being networked for a all-taiwan countdown. md was on stage as well ready to countdown with everyone, but what the heck, couldn't really see them anyway haha.

But as this happened, you could see that a lot of the crowd was also started to point their cameras and phones towards 101 on our right hand side, measuring the best way to frame the to-come fireworks display.

Not wanting to lose out, I did the same too and as the clocked ticked away.. it finally came to the last 20seconds when all the lights on 101 blacked out and the crowd screeched knowing it was a sign of the magnificent fireworks to come. 10.. 9..8… the floors of 101 lighted up one by one towards the top floor… and at the count of 0, fireworks of all sorts and vibrant colours shot into the night sky.

I held my phone tightly, hoping to get the best video I could of this once in a lifetime fireworks display that I would never see live again (but stupidly on the plane the next day, I deleted this video….. yes, stupid). But while the fireworks were really beautiful and hypnotizing to a certain extent, it felt a little scary watching such a tall building being engulfed in smoke. It made me quiver a little at that thought, but I prayed that the world would never have to face such destruction again =).

When the last fireworks exploded into the night sky, nobody knew if there was going to be more because it seemed as though everyone still had their cameras pointing towards 101, afraid to miss any possible later fireworks that would surprise us at any time. However, truly… there would be no more haha.

Quickly, I tried to call back to Singapore once again. SH, Nic, Ms Bear… I couldn’t reach anyone at all. As I waited for md to return on stage, I dialed non stop but to no avail.

Soon, the building to our left began its own fireworks display, but compared to the big brother, it didn’t really capture the attention of the crowd. To the sound of these fireworks, md was reintroduced on stage.

As they sang LSC, their last song of the show, the crowd began around me began to move. 2 lines of people formed, trying to make their way out of the venue. One line came from in front of me and the other line to my right. I was literally squashed and trying hard not to be pushed onto the people behind me who were close to the water’s edge just behind all of us.

Still I fought hard to finish listening to LSC and for md to leave the stage before I succumbed to the flow of people moving outwards.

Welcome to 2007 I thought. I'm still in one piece!! =)

No one I could call or wish Happy New Year, no hugs to welcome the new year, but I just had the adventure of my life. Regret? No =)

Next mission, to conquer the auto session =)

Taipei, the land where anything can happen

2007-01-05T01:55:00.000-08:00

29^th Dec 2006 – Show Day

Awoke early today once again to make modifications to my stuff. Ms Bear still wasn’t back by then. So I thought I’ll ask uncle Z out for lunch together before we set off for the venue.

Had a nice simple yet delicious雞腿飯 at the foodcourt neartby and when we stepped out into the open, it was already drizzling very lightly. Stupidly, that day, I rushed out of my room without my pass. Which made me end up walking back again to the hotel to get the pass and return by foot to the venue.

The final rehearsal didn’t last for very long, but I still had many new modifications left undone, plus there were changes to the MMO (this meant I had to re-burn the CD I burnt for Uncle Z just yesterday). The bad news was, the rest of the songs were in my macbook, that was still sleeping in the comfort of my hotel room. Thus, I made a final trip back (by foot again) to the hotel to burn the new CD, before I went for a quick dinner on my own and then back before the standby time at the venue, to make any final last minute changes.

After all the walking around, I was in a state of burn out. The standby waiting time started to draw more of my remaining energy away from me as well. By the time, I got on stage, I think I was in a sort of trance.

Throughout the show, I was literally lagging. My mind told me I had to work faster but still there was a lapse between my brain and my hands. It was frustrating to know the problem but not have the ability to curb it. As the time passed by, my back was aching and my legs too (despite the fact that I was sitting down).

I felt bad sitting there, for not fulfilling my duty to the best that I can. I felt guilty for letting them down. Even though no one can really tell, but to the 2 of them, I just have to say that I’m very sorry. If not for their ability to cover up well, I guess I would have screwed up quite a bit.

When the show ended, I still felt awfully guilty and tried my best to hide from the 2 of them. The probably don’t blame me, but I do blame myself for not being able to focus. What’s more, this would probably be the last show I’ll be doing for this tour. And it so happens to be in a place that I’ve always wanted to work in.

What a disappointment I’ve been.

We all headed for the dinner together but I stuck with KL and the guys. Grabbed only a little to eat and then made my way out with KW and uncle Z (not really wanting to mingle). Not wanting to sleep early once again, KW and I thought we should try our luck at 士林 one more time, since it was Friday and shops didn’t close that early.

At around 1am, we arrived together with D and MM at 士林 and boy were we glad to see shops open. There wasn’t much to shop for… or should I say, even if there was, I didn’t have much mood to shop. In my totally blue state, I was practically just following KW around as she shopped. Think she was wondering why I was so busy sms-ing on my phone as well and not really looking around at the feast of things around us (yeah.. and I think my phone bill this month is gonna be horrible =_=).

By 2am, the illegal stalls that flanked the middle of the road began to deconstruct themselves and wade their way dangerously through the crowd of people. Let me get this clear… they did expect people to get out of their way or suffer the dire consequences of getting crushed by a push cart.

With such a scene going on, and the fact that it was winter.. meaning there was nothing much we could buy there, the 4 of us decided to end the shopping trip.

Hopping onto a cab, we dropped D off at誠品, then MM and I alighted at the hotel, while KW continued on to her friend’s home.

You would think that the story ends when I return to the hotel. Hahah but no…. MM and I turned back onto the streets towards the supermarket (where I bought lots of beverages and stuff for the guys who placed their orders with me before I left for Taipei), before returning to the hotel once again.

Shortly after I reached the room, Ms Bear came back with our Malaysian colleagues XM, ZS and JW. And like me, they bought cup noodles as well ^___^. We are all hungry people…

So 4 bottles of mineral water, 5 bowls of noodles of various flavours, and beverages of all sorts later, the 3 of them left to return to the hostel, leaving behind a whole bunch of straws on the bed haha. Just some basic info on straws in Taipei, when you buy anything at a convenience store, they don’t provide you with a plastic bag, but they do make sure you get a straw with every drink that you purchase. Save the environment? Irony? Or are the straws made of biodegradable plastic?

Ms Bear rushed to finish her work through the night (realize, she’s not sleeping again! You gotta teach me this skill…. haha), as I went to bed at close to 6, to prepare myself for the meeting I had to attend the next day.

30^th Dec 2006 – Its just me and him

Ms Bear woke me up at 11.20am to tell me she got me breakfast (so sweet of her). There were 2 飯糰, 蘋果牛奶, and even暖包 because she knew I was going to battle it out alone at the autograph session on the 31^st.

But.. at a cost =P because she started hinting to me that I should send her off. The hint was that she needed help with her heavy luggage (but gotta clarify for her, its filled with a lot of other stuff that doesn’t belong to her… although quite a bit of beverages belong to her haha).

I changed out of my ‘sleeping attire’ of course, but because her transport was already waiting, I didn’t have much time to bother about my messy hair. So here I went once again with my messy state, a blaring contrast against the posh lobby of well dressed people.

After I waved goodbye to Ms Bear, I started to miss her but it didn’t make me forget the unpresentable state I was in. Quickly, I slid my way towards the elevator and into my room. That was when I truly realized…. that everyone else had also left Taipei. All except…. My boss.

With just the 2 of us left, it was only polite of me to ask him what time he intended to set off for the meeting and if he wanted to lunch together. With his cracky sleepy voice, he asked me what I hadn’t eaten so far in Taipei. In my mind, I wondered truly… what hadn’t I eaten? Haven’t I already eaten too much?

He suggested 滷肉飯, I simply told him I tried it before but couldn’t remember the name of the shop.

How about拉麵?

I’ve eaten that in Singapore, but he insisted that it tastes different there,

so yeah, I said, why not?

But it was not long after we agreed that he called me again to say, we would be having Shabu Shabu, and a free meal as well because someone owed him a treat. That person must be really pounding her chest to have to end up treating 2 people instead haha.

I must say though…. That its truly the best Shabu Shabu I’ve ever had. Even though it’s the first time I’m eating Shabu Shabu… but still, its truly the best steamboat-like thingie I’ve ever had!! Erm… I was too lost in it to remember to take a photo =P. But if I go with any of you to Taipei in future, I promise I’ll take you guys there.

Thanking the sweet lady who gave me a treat without really knowing who I was, but just a free-loader following my boss out to lunch, we set off for the office for our meeting at 3pm.

The meeting went on till past 7pm and we only managed to cover just one topic. From the moment I sat down, I was already starting to feel the effects of the past 3 nights of poor sleep. How hard I fought to stay awake, not just because it was rude to fall asleep in front of 2 bosses, it was a meeting that was giving me very important lessons I wouldn’t be able to gain if I wasn’t in Taipei that day, sitting in that meeting room.

There was a problem with my bladder that day too, because I was just scooting off to toilet every now and then. But it probably did help in waking me up at certain intervals heheh. Close to the end of the meeting however… I knew my eyes were already half closed, but I guess they could by then, forgive me for feeling that tired.

When the meeting ended, I asked for them to provide me clear directions that I could advise any taxi driver if I were to take a cab from the city to our hostel. As my boss also wanted to go by the hostel to pick things up, my Taipei boss gave both of us a lift there and along the way, both of them eagerly ‘debated’ as to who knew the best way to the hostel (men…), and pointed out all the landmarks I had to look for. I felt as though I had 2 fathers at that point in time… But then again, those were really very important and clear directions that helped me go back and forth from the hostel on my own the next day =)

The living room of the 4 room apartment

Handing me his keys, my boss and I then decided to go for dinner together before his next meeting (not involving me), at 9pm. We went to somewhere near his next meeting place, in search of a restaurant he had been to before, to eat… I can’t remember what. And I can’t remember it, because, we never found it. Time was running out, so we quickly made a choice to have Tepanyaki, of which he also claims that Tepanyaki in Taipei tastes different. Hmm….

It didn’t taste that bad, but I gobbled down the hot food really fast, because he ate too fast! Guess he must have been terribly hungry... and it was also because I lost time in between, running out to the convenience store to buy newspapers for him. After stuffing and downing all the not too bad Tepanyaki, we stepped out only to end up sitting down for 燒仙草.

It really did seem to please him to let me try food that I’ve never tried before, because once I made it known to him I didn’t really know what燒仙草 was, he never looked in any other direction except the stall vendor. I added 湯圓 and some other jelly thing to mine, while he added around 4 ingredients to his (how can someone who eats so fast and be such a good eater, be this thin? Heaven is unfair!).

Gotta mention too, that this was the most slow moving stall vendor we have ever met. There we were in front of her feeling completely ignored, while waiting for her to finish packing in complete slow motion, for another customer. Then along came another stall vendor who started talking to her and both of them ignored us for a good 2 minutes before nodding her head to indicate she’ll take our order =_=

Nonetheless, the燒仙草 was excellent! If you are wondering what燒仙草 is, its just hot chin chow, not really in jelly form, but thick soup. There can’t possibly be another dessert better than this, especially in winter. I was so full by the time I tried to finish my entire bowl of燒仙草+湯圓+Jelly (how can you let good food to waste right?).

Done with dinner and dessert, we parted to go shopping on our own and the last time I saw him in Taipei, was on msn later that night/morning haha. But I didn’t send him any message of course =P

I didn’t shop around for too long. I simply targeted a CD store that I didn’t have time to step into up till now, got the mayday album that I would need for the next day (plus the pass that WY needed because she’ll be attending the concert on the 6^th… =(… how I wish I could stay on till the 6^th to catch the concert too).

Back to the hotel I went, to make use of the remaining internet time I had and pack my bag in preparation for my move from hotel to hostel when I awake.

Alone but never lonely

2007-01-03T03:02:00.000-08:00

Because people who care for me are thinking of me, and just a phone call a way.

Because I know I’ve got friends there that I can contact in times of need. Just that I don’t wish to drag them along in things that they probably wouldn’t be interested in.

Because being just one person, makes moving around and well.. cutting queues much easier hahah.

These were thoughts that came across my mind, as I spent my last day in Taipei on my own.

I really seldom do travel blogs by days but I really gotta blog this whole thing out in sequence, simply because I want to remember it forever. Its been a trip that that has been such an experience, of ups and downs, of the familiar and totally foreign.

Just a note, I will be keeping certain names and events confidential and vague. If anyone wants to know more, just ask me out la hahha.

Warning…… this could take you forever to read! But if you are bored, I hope it will help entertain you till you get off work =P.

27^th Dec 2006 – The aftermath of the earthquake

Close to 1pm, the plane landed at CKS airport.

Our luggage came out quickly, as they were all marked with priority tags (thanks to my boss who grabbed the bunch of priority tags for everyone, from my dad before the luggages were checked in).

At that point, the luggage seemed less important than the urgency of trying to connect to a telco network, so that each and everyone of us there could contact someone back home, that we have already landed safely.

We soon learnt that an earthquake hit the south of Taiwan just yesterday and this could have affected the phone lines. Nonetheless, we (I) kept on trying.. from walking out of the arrival hall, on the bus all the way to the hotel. I couldn’t help thinking that SH and my mum would be worried sick.

The bus quickly maneuvered its way around the familiar streets of Taipei, and came to a halt at an even more than familiar hotel, now with a new name.

It loves new names so much, that its even given me a new name haha. Check this out…

We were allocated our rooms (I had one to myself) and I quickly took down the rest of the guys’ room numbers (a usual routine so that I could always find the people I needed to). At that point, as I handed the 2 pandan cakes I brought over from Singapore to XX, I learnt that the meeting which we had initially scheduled at 5pm, would be changed to 7pm.

Shit. Just when I can’t get to Ms Bear through the phone, and I had already pre-arranged with JL to bring us to Mr J for dinner at 7pm for Ms Bear’s burpday celebration.

I rushed to the room to use the phone and tried dialing overseas to SH and even Ms Bear’s s’pore mobile number. Then I desperately turned on my laptop, hoping to catch some wireless network that could log me onto msn. But none could work. All I got were dead tones. And all the while, my mobile phone couldn’t log onto any network either. It was by then, 3pm. My mum must be worried bad.

Giving up, I went to meet Uncle Z at the lobby, for lunch with the other guys. There, he decided to call our Taipei office to see if anyone had the local number of anybody who could possibly be with Ms Bear at that time. We finally reached her of course, and to learn that she was also trying very hard to contact us. Only at times like these, do we realize the importance of phones and working phone lines.

We quickly came to a decision to make use of that time before 7pm to go for dinner at Mr J. and I’ll rush back for the meeting. JL too, agreed to come pick us up at the hotel at 530.

In the end, we didn’t have lunch but Uncle Z but I headed out to buy a local sim card for me, only to learn that convenience stores don’t carry them. What’s more, there wasn’t a shop selling phones anywhere near this area. That was when Uncle Z felt we should just go to the office to see if we could use their phone to call back home.

Good idea I thought, since JL was at the office and Ms Bear was at the company hostel, plus I’ve never been to the office before. And it turned out much nearer that I’ve always imagined it to be.

There, I got a sim card from the accountant hehe, and a tour round the office, as well as introductions to the colleagues whom I’ve never before met… and another surprise to meet a name I’ve heard of before and get a free yet very nicely autographed album from him.

Anyway, at the office, all forms of connection (phone / email) between Taipei and Singapore were also cut. All except for the amazing and formidable msn haha. Who would have thought… It was at that point, that I searched my list and found QH online and asked her to converse my message to SH.

As we waited at office for Ms Bear, we got a call from Dave that he’ll be going along with us for dinner as well. And gosh did the entourage grow bigger haha. It took quite some time before they arrived, and I was quickly running short of time before my meeting.

So JL decided we should set off first with Ms Bear and along the way, he called to place orders haha.. a very clever and efficient idea I must say. Because by the time we got there, we could eat immediately. I finished my share in less than 20mins and that was where the rest of them arrived.

In total, we had 1 Taiwanese, 3 Singaporeans and 7 Malaysians. But I took my leave after we took a bday photo with Ms Bear to remember by. Uncle Z being the great person he is, offered to return to the hotel with me even though he wasn’t involved in the meeting.

I was early in fact, because my boss, J and PP hadn’t arrived yet. The meeting well, was more of them talking and me trying my best to take down all their off-the-top-of-their-head-talk as fast as I could, without losing too much of their intentions (otherwise I would be dead meat). It was done swiftly under 2 hours. And as they headed off to the venue, I very politely declined my boss’ offer for me to go along with them hahaha.

Waited quite long for Ms Bear to return from office, so we could go out to the night market and I gave up after a while, to end up walking out onto the streets of Taipei myself, for the first time.

There was just one place I really wanted to go and I did go walk those empty streets once again. Not sure what for because its always quite pointless going there but yet, there are so many things that are irrational anyway.

As I scoured through the exciting convenience stores one after another, I got a call from Ms Bear that she had already reached the hotel. She had moved in with me to my room. Although it was already midnight, we still decided to go out to Tong Hua night market just for the heck of it, and because she was feeling quite down that day (which if you remember me mentioning, it was her birthday).

Over a bowl of 愛玉 and some very very good 鹽酥雞, we talked and talked.. then we ended up as 2 very blue people roaming the streets of Taipei in the wee hours of the morning. Yet, we didn’t want to return to the hotel to sleep.

Instead, we headed down to 誠品just to buy a book each and then went on another tour of convenience stores around our hotel area, before we decided to call it a day. It was 3.30am by then. The bad part was, I hadn’t even started to make changes to the work that I needed to do haha.

^ The pile of poo-h at a watsons

^ I think the words on the board speaks for itself hehe

(The 2 dogs that were sleeping happily outside a 7-11 and never moved an inch even as we entered the store. Notice the dog near the entrance? The opening of the door is actually where its head is hahah. If you're afraid of dogs, you can look for another convenience store...)

Pushed on with my work till about 5am when I gave up and felt I should wake up earlier to continue. It was really tough trying to type Chinese or use a pc application on a macbook.

Erm, I forgot to mention, that during the times when we were in the hotel, our favourite channel would be starworld, where all sorts of cheesy old hk movies would be aired. And yea… they are cheesy, corny, layered with lousy background music and a little *cough* ‘A’. But let me clarify, just in case you start wondering why these 2 girls are so weird… these shows are good to watch because you don’t have to invest that much energy into it when you turn your eyes to watch every now and then.

Off to bed I went, 24 hours after I first woke up for my flight.

28^th Dec 2006 – Rehearsal Day

Awoke at 10am to start on my modifications and kept going till around 12, when Ms Bear decided she will go out to buy 關山便當 for me, when I only mentioned it to her yesterday how good it is. It was really very sweet of her to take a cab out just to buy it.

Before she returned, my boss called me to look for Uncle Z and asked me where the CD for the rehearsal was, as ‘jio leng’ was gonna be there soon. The CD was with me, but Uncle Z of course wasn’t. He wanted me to bring the CD to the venue and try to contact Uncle Z to go over immediately. At that point, I was still in my ‘sleeping clothes’ and my hair in a more than messy state. Couldn’t imagine going out and walking over to the venue like this, so I arranged with Uncle Z who was out for lunch to meet me back at the hotel lobby before he headed towards the venue.

Passed the CD and I rushed back to my room as fast as I could, to hide my messiness which was really a bad match against any other person in that hotel lobby haha.

After I ate the delicious便當 Ms Bear brought back, I made my way out myself to the venue with 2 heavy laptops (mine and ms bear’s) because I wasn’t sure if my wonderful mac would work on the projector.

Took me some time to find the entrance but eventually I did. Couldn’t believe I’m back that this place once again and it somehow looked different from this new perspective.

(The stage)

And as expected, I soon learnt that there was no adaptor that would match my macbook and the projector. I walked back to the department store next to the hotel, at the advice of G who said there was an apple store there.

Just as I wanted to step out, I realized it was raining. Wanted to borrow an umbrella from the guard there, but strangely… he had none (he even tried looking behind the drink dispenser machine =_=). So, in the end, I braved the rain and went in search for an adaptor.

Unfortunately, the search was fruitless. I returned to the venue and switched from my macbook over to Ms Bear’s 小白 instead. As I was doing so, I very stupidly got my little finger caught in between seat and steel of the chair I was sitting on. It hurt real bad~~ and blood started to ooze out. I even got blood dripped onto poor 小白.

Guess that was the beginning of a spate of ‘accidents’ where I would hurt myself and an omen of a bad show for me. To fast forward a bit, I hurt my other fingers twice where I never realized, and once when I was lying in bed trying to cover myself tightly with the sheets. Then I also banged my hips against the hostel table when I first stepped in. How more stupid could I get? But I believe the pain cannot be compared to my boss banging his head as he got into the taxi hahah =P (ok, I shall not be evil since he did treat me well there)

(More yummy 便當 for dinner!!)

The rest of the rehearsal went on as it usually would, only that this time... it lasted till almost midnight. I was really quite burnt out by then. Yet, as we stepped out of the venue, we didn’t want to just go back to the hotel for an early night’s sleep. Afterall, this is Taipei... where night markets abound!

So Uncle Z, me and Ms Bear, decided to go to 師大 night market for makan. Soon after we reached, Ms Bear’s Singapore friend as well as KW and her Taiwanese friend joined us as well, to have the very delicious 滷味 but very very bad and sweet tea that we needed to order, so as to meet a minimum spending when you dined in.

There, while eating the滷味 I was craving for so badly, we had a nice chat with KW’s friend and we also gave YZ a call to surprise him with a Happy Birthday song while he was out having a massage.

2 plates of 滷味 and 2 unfinished pots of lousy tea later, the rest of師大 night market was already 90% closed. That was when KW’s friend told us his friends were at 士林 ktv-ing away and made us foolishly hope that it shops would still be opened there. It wouldn’t be any harm because he was going to drive us there anyway heheh.

By the time we got there, it didn’t appear very promising. Nonetheless, we went to the KTV first because Uncle Z wanted to use the toilet there. When we came down, KW’s friend’s friend was already there. They introduced him as T, and so did he himself. Earlier on, KW’s friend had said he was in the same company as T, but I didn’t know that he would be at the KTV.

As I shook his hand, I was trying hard to connect this name to the face that I had always linked this name to. Ok, that sounded complicated… what I meant, was, he looked different from how I imagined him to be. I hope I didn’t look too puzzled haha =P.

Anyway, T got a kick out of figuring out we were Singaporeans and exclaimed how he could differentiate between Taiwanese, Singaporeans and Malaysians. The rest of that meeting, I don’t really remember, except for the fact that they were all going to watch the show tomorrow.

We bid goodbye and went roaming the empty streets of士林 before we really decided it was quite stupid, walking around aimlessly. By the way, it’s the first time I’m walking in士林 with everything closed hahaha, how strange it felt.

While KW and her friend left for 誠品, Uncle Z took me to look for YZ and D-ge who were on their way home after their massage session. They also very very kindly offered to buy porridge for the both of us. Really good for a cold night like this =)

We arrived at their hostel just a few minutes after they had arrived and we dug into the piping hot porridge. This porridge is really different from our regular porridge.. I just don’t know how to describe it. Mine had fish and squid in it, the rice wasn’t very mashed up (more like teochew porridge) and there was egg flower in it as well. It tasted pretty good except for the fact that the bowl was huge and my stomach was already bloated from eating the滷味 just about an hour ago. Sorry I don’t have a photo of it haha.

Done with the eating, D-ge then picked up the guitar and starting playing and singing his favourite songs. *whisper* I believe he knows just these songs and he keeps practicing them haha. But no matter what, he still plays the acoustic guitar better than me (I suck…). They try to push the guitar to me, but I push it off by saying I got my finger injured and I’m only used to electric guitars hahah (yes, lame excuses... but they do work you know).

I mean, how can I play the guitar when there are 2 experts plus one novice who is much better than me there? So most of time, I was just watching Uncle Z and YZ teach D-ge.

Let me also mention that it was already 4am by now. And without any regard for time, Uncle Z thought it was a good idea to help YZ move the TV from the living room, to his room. I almost fainted haha…. And as G remarked the next day ‘你跟錯人了!’.

All these night owls… testing TV connections, moving TV sets and finding modly rotting stuff in the room, plus Uncle Z drinking coffee at 4am in the morning. It was unbelievable. And I always thought me sleeping this late was bad hahah. These people, just don’t take care of their health…. erm, actually me too =P

Finally at around 530am, they were done and we caught a cab back to the hotel. Ms Bear was still awake with her friend in the room. As I went to shower, I was quite surprised that she was intending to go out with her friend. OMG, another incredible night-morning owl hahah. 一晚還有一晚晚….

By 630am, I conceded defeat and was already snoozing away, while Ms Bear was still somewhere out where… (I began to wonder if that house of night owls we left, was already sleeping too)

Countdown!!

2006-12-30T12:27:00.000-08:00

But alone i will be....

Yes, I extended my stay by one day, out of temptation hahaha.

Since I embarked on this job, it has forced me to be independent and do alot of things on my own. And each time I go overseas, this 'being alone' gets even more essential because everyone has their own task to fulfill and so do I.

It does feel weird being in Taipei alone. It feels more weird attending a countdown alone.
And even even more weird, to watch md or attend their auto session alone.
Whats more , its cold and dreary winter...

Hopefully I don't freeze outside queueing... =P
I can imagine the crowd for the auto session will be enormous.. this is of course, Taiwan..

A little nervous, but I hope I can make friends with some people in the queue.

Its howling outside my window now. Scary when you are alone in the room.
It'll be scarier on the

That aside, its been great to be part of this whole experience once again, job wise.
Although I know I disappointed myself and some people this time round.
Throughout the show, I felt myself in some sort of a trance.. bad to be doing what I had to do at that time.

There have been alot alot alot alot alot of nice people (really alot). JL for bringing us to Mr J on bear's bday, Bear for the ai xin bian dang and nuan nuan baos, uncle Z for bringing me everywhere possible and not allowing me to sleep early haha. Yz and D ge for the porridge that I couldn't really down after having lots of lu wei.

Its been a tiring trip, rushing here and there looking for people, back and forth the hotel and the venue, and cheong-ing the night markets that always close quickly after we arrive.

I think I've spent more on internet than buying stuff. And I've bought more stuff for others, than myself hehe... But then again, staying another day, is really doing something for myself that I don't wish to regret, the moment i arrive in Singapore.

I will learn to be brave and independent. This is after all a country i'm familiar with and have friends around. just that I gotta know more local md fans haha

Will update everyone on what happens again =)
Thinking of all of you.

I miss home, really.

no more winter countdown

2006-12-22T00:22:00.000-08:00

thanks to a stupid idiotic #$@%@#!@##**!! boss (eh, for those of you who know my boss is, its not that boss.. its another boss who is not my direct boss =P)....

i've been confirmed at the last minute to be going to tpe
Its supposed to be good news (but it isn't, given that I've been a spare tyre all this while, being the less preferred to his fav pet from BJ). And only because his visa didn't fall through, that I'm being asked out of standby mode, into action mode.

But by now, flights are all full (i'm actually wait listed on 9 flights haha), air tickets are expensive.
Our initial plan to stay on in tpe.. to countdown till the new year, has already been botched.

Neither A nor SH can go along with me now.

Its so near but yet so far...
no sheng ge countdown concert....
no cold new year's day.....

but the consolation is, I get to do one more last show...
In the place that I can only dream off working in (Small huge egg, i'll see you again soon!)
I get to see the whole team of people again, although some of them won't be ard this time...
And that bear will be there in tpe as well...

Still...... #%$#%**!!!^#%(# for spoiling all our wonderful plans.
Even with money now, how do you get a flight back or a hostel room?

was it real? (continued...)

2006-12-10T02:42:00.000-08:00

looking back at my previous title.. I apologise for the dramaticness of it all. It actually isnt' even a dramatic post haha, but at the point when i typed it, I was kinda at a loss for a title to put =P

Alright, back to the story...

Out came MD.. .. stone came heading towards our direction, the rest of them to their respective positions. It was a scene we have grown to become so so so familiar with. Yet somehow, a scene that we can never seen to tire of.

They played many similar arrangements from FH and also JL (the surprise of the day).. till the 'final' song JJ which we have already been well trained to understand as one of their preferred end-of-gig songs. They then quickly shuffled off the stage without real goodbyes or credits read or even the stadium lights being turned on, leading the again well trained us, to know that an encore item would be next.

However, the highlight of the night i'll have to say is in fact the birthday (a.k.a sabo) celebration. Whether it was preplanned.. it was really a funny sight to behold. From one birthday boy, it became 3 victims due to down 3 small bottles of stout. Then out came a huge bottle of stout for the birthday boy of the day who dragged down more victims together with him haha.

The 'cough mixtures', the smashing of the faces into the cake, the lump of cream that remained stuck on monster's hair all through the last song of the day, and the8 men on stage shoulder to shoulder singing 'peng you'... was simply the best way to end the whole event.

I really didn't want it to end (as cliche as it may sound)... I really didn't. Because when would the next opportunity be?

Watching fun happening spontaneously on stage, is certainly much better than watching well planned, perfectly timed and executed sequences.

Sometimes, its simplicity that we all need. And that night, it was just music at its best.

Can't forget also, to thank the girls for keeping the space for us even though we were so late ^__^ \/ 3Q!!!

But throughout the time I was watching the performance, till the time we went for supper.. it was strange that I was thinking about what was happening at office all the time. They were all busy rushing out stuff and I felt tempted to go back to see how they were doing.

That night, as we were about to go to bed (at 3.30am).. we both had the thought that we should go down to the airport later on, despite the fact that we had to go to work by 10am that day.

After sleeping just 2 and half hours, we rushed out of the house only to realise I had forgotten my mobile phone (didn't return to get it as we were running a little late). We got there at about 7am and waited just a few minutes before a bunch of very sleepy and blur looking guys emerged from their slumber inside the bus.

Although there weren't really any happy waving of goodbyes, it was the talk over breakfast with linda and qh that was really nice. Haven't had breakfast so early in the morning for so long and neither have i met up with friends for quite some time too.

SH and I then made our way back to my house to grab my mobile phone only to 'nap' for a 'little' while (from 20mins, it became 1 hour hahah)... of which I only reached office at 11am (my boss was already there) =P.

As I went down with him (my boss) to his transport to the airport, I managed then to wave goodbye to my overseas colleagues who were in the combi. This marked the end of a very interesting 2 weeks indeed.

Was it real?

2006-12-09T17:05:00.000-08:00

Wednesday came and wednesday went by.. just like that.

After almost a year of waiting, we got this ultimate live performance of the century. haha I'm exaggerating.. but it was really fantastic to experience that feeling all over again. Especially after all the properly planned and staged Final Homes, this spontaneity couldn't have come at a better time.

Whether or not md would still be the md as we always knew them to be, after this next new album. What matters is, they will always be doing what they were called to do... music. Its this one thing that has inspired me all along.

12.6.2006

Went to work as usual, but I was a little late (as usual too hahah).. the day went by pretty quickly because I was targetting 6pm to complete whatever urgent matters I had that day.
It was also the last day that my overseas colleagues would be there, before they flew off with my boss the next day. And that day I ran off quickly without getting to really say goodbye to all of them...

It was around 7.20pm by the time we had a quick dinner and got on the cab (which took long to find us). We then got caught in a traffic jam, along our way to the stadium. I think we finally arrived at around 7.45pm.

At the stadium, we got greeted by a not very friendly usher who didn't bother much to look at our tickets (only asking: "premiere?", we nodded our heads and he let us in) and pointed to the direction we were to walk. Of course, not knowing where to go, we faced a locked door, so we returned to ask him which direction to go... of which his reply was "just go straight". Hmm.... is this customer service these days?

As we entered the stadium, we were suprised to find the rock zone so empty.. there was probably only 10-15 lines of people then. We shuffled our way to the front to the mafia (feeling a little paiseh for cutting queue) and soon we got surprised by linda who actually really bought my tw green milk tea back for me (whats more, she could get it into the stadium and not have it confiscated haha). And just to tell Linda, its not spoilt haha... thanks so much!!!! So nice to relive the taste of tw again hehehe.

SH and I quickly then squeezed into any available space to sit ourselves down. When the lights dimmed, we were shocked at how everyone started pushing towards the front, as if any space left in between would be an utterly waste of space. We even had an uninvited guest who made his way very very quickly between nic and I. His own friend was stuck behind SH and CM haha.. so the lone guy ended up right in front of me for the better half of the concert looking a wee bit awkward.

The concert started out with 'Sheng ge' decked in all white and a few splashes of pink.. in his shoes and belt (that he loved to flash now and then, including his stomach as well ahha). But was truly amazed by his showmanship.. there was not any moment when he was on stage, that was left 'cold'. And finally hearing one night in beijing... made me just want to jam it haha.

Then next came PG, whom I felt very sorry to for not really knowing his songs heheh. Never have I ever felt like a sorethumb sticking out in a crowd, especially since he likes to make the crowd sing with him.

But the crowd really truly came alive, when it was md's turn to perform.
(However, I gotta go now haha, so I'll continue in another post)

Happy Family

2006-12-05T01:04:00.000-08:00

A couple of my overseas colleagues have been in town since last week, and its great feeling part of this big family.

Although I am the only girl among them haha

Its this feeling of no boundaries and everyone working together as one, despite different cultures and nationalities, that I really love.

And whats more important is that everyone is so jovial and enjoying what they do (even though they can get really tired out).

I'll miss them all when they leave this thursday. It'll be so quiet once again...

Life

2006-11-28T00:27:00.000-08:00

Random lessons I've learnt from life:
(in no particular order)

1. Live life like there's no tomorrow

2. Humilty is a virtue among the truly successful and well respected (like Z and KL)

3. We are all born to change the world around us

4. Why be a follower when you can choose to be different?

5. Human relationships are not based on the material and superficial.

6. The more of the world we see... the less we seem to know

7. Always look on the bright side of life!

8. Be Happy

9. If in doubt, going to KTV with great colleagues helps to make working life feel better =)

FIVE

2006-11-25T02:02:00.000-08:00

From that day on 29th Nov 2001... we never looked back. And these 5 years have meant alot to me, because I was never alone since then.

Its only the 25th today, but just in case things get a little busy, I decided to post this now. And also because after the work I put in, I can't wait to put it up =P

I'm not the designer.. you are =). But this is as good as I can make it look heh.

Its 5 years compressed into one montage, with the significant memories we've had along the way. See how we've (me...) gone from not so fat, to very fat, and not so fat.. and then fat again. hahahah

Thank you for everything, for being the very best friend I could ever have in this whole wide world. For experiencing the best and worst of life with me....

2001 was when my life really began.
Hope you like this present =)
And lets continue in our goal to just live life and be happy!

HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

Happiness

2006-11-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

No, this ain't gonna be some frivolous blog on the sweet things in life or on things that I want to buy, nor about cute objects that just make me happy...

But IT IS going to be a frivolous blog on the few things that make me happy with myself and what gives me the already very limited confidence that I have.... hahah

Funny how these days my blog entries are always so reflective and about me trying to be happy. Because, yes! Its just what I want to be, happy.

And I'm so glad how the tides are changing for him as well. We'll soon be in more closely related industries next year ^__^. Congrats!

In my life, I've met people who have changed my outlook of life, my personality and taught me so much. These are those whom I will never ever forget

My parents for giving me a chance to travel all my life, to see the world and realise that we do not just live in a well.

My mum especially for always helping me keep secrets from my dad haha.. and for always believing that her daughter is the best. And for giving me a voice that I love... because being able to sing, is what makes me feel alive. And being able to sing, gives me a life without regrets.

Jessie for being there for almost 15 years of my life, through psle all the way till I graduated from uni. And for teaching me what loyalty really meant and how to stand tall even in the face of death.

My porcelain painting teacher.. I'm sorry I can't remember your name, for showing me I have artistic abilities hehe and most importantly, bringing me to a hospice at the age of 14, to see the undying hopes and passion of the patients who never failed to believe in being happy nor their own abilities to create art, despite their limited time on this earth.

My piano teacher, Miss Tan, whom i'm sorry I gave up learning after only 3 years, but gave me the grounding I have now. Someone who had athritic pain in her fingers but never failed as a piano teacher.

Lofty, my theatre teacher who was the only one in my life to positively tell me that I have stage presence and gave me the confidence to stand on stage. Its the reason why I love the stage, whether I'm on it or behind it. He made me from an introvert to less-of-an-introvert haha.

Ahroar, for being a good friend to me all these years, all the way from primary school. The one who always has nice and encouraging words for me. The one whom I love singing with, the most.

MD for coming into my life and showing me the direction I've always failed to see. For giving me that strength to believe that dreams can come true if you dare to try and work hard enough. You guys have been the best role models and still are.

And of course, the notorious 'Ah Beng' (he's not really and ah beng.. just that his name has a 'beng' in it heh) for being such a wonderful sociologist that it made me leave your class (in a positive way) to go in search of my life's purpose. Don't get me wrong, I love sociology, even till now ^_^

The few people I met in my life, who came back to tell me that I've actually inspired them to go work towards what they wanted. I never realised I had that power to inspire anyone, but you guys inspired me in return too to keep going!

Ah jack for pulling me into the industry, yvon for showing me the way through it and pulling me into my current job, uncle Z for teaching me so much and most importantly, B for giving me this chance. I hope I live up to your very very high expectations.

And then... how can I forget him ^_^ for being at my side for the most tribulant 5 years of my life. I'm sure its been the most tribulant 5 years of his life too. There have been more downs than ups but hopefully all the struggle has been worth it... and its really great now to see the different fruits of our labour.

For being the 2 very weird people that we are.
For being 2 people who just love to dream.
For being 2 people who love nothing more than to eat and chat and eat and chat.
For believing that doing what our hearts desire, is more important than money itself, even though we are so poor..
For being so like-minded in our goals

To my best friend, be happy and learn to love the things around you and once again, may your new job be a good new beginning ^_^

10 Nov

2006-11-11T16:06:00.000-08:00

What an interesting day...

1) The day the song was released. Really can't listen to it like a normal song.. something is always wrong about it =_=. Everything else in there seems to sound so much better.. and I'm so impressed by an old friend ^__^

2) I learnt that I'll really be sent to Taipei and since its the end of the year, we can plan to stay on for the countdown to 2007! ^__^
(Tian Shi... you must come along ok??)

3) Out of the blue, got dragged in to sing for a song that I don't remember the tune now, nor the song title. Thank goodness my nose wasn't stuck and my throat was feeling fine. Hope I didn't spoil anything for them ^__^

4) Another 19 days to our 5th year anniversary ^__^

All in a day's work

2006-11-10T00:49:00.000-08:00

If I say I love my job absolutely, its a big lie of course.
And to say I've found what I want.... maybe not.... yet.

But then there is no perfect job in the world. And for me, this job has been quite an achievement. Since its coming to the 8th month since I've joined the company, I figured it'll be nice to give a little tribute to the things that make me love being there =)

After all, its the happy things that matter. Forget the unhappiness, the imbalanced thoughts, the insensitive comments, the biasedness and the 'pmp's... yeah, forget it, and be happy!

Ready or not, here goes...

How can you not love your job when you have crazy and fun colleagues?

Like Mr JS.....
and his 7-mth ge-tai partner Ms Bear
(sorry, don't have a less obvious photo of you haha, so lets leave it to the imagination of whoever's reading).
Together, they are '雄霸天下' (watch for them next 7th month!)

And Uncle Z... (aka. Mr Goofy)
the best mentor ever, who drives us out for 'excursions' but he needs to remember to check the rented car's suspension once in a while hahahah

As well as Ms. 天使 or 天屎 (as she prefers it)
who sits just in front of me. And she's a living doraemon! Open any drawer, anywhere around her, you'll definitely find something to eat when you're hungry heheheh. But gal, dont' just feed us, you gotta eat properly too.

Of course, there's also Miss 冬菇 who drinks tons and tons of water,
Miss '一天一天愛戀' who only spends not more than $4 a day and doesn't drink anything but plain water from the office haha,
憂鬱王子 who always looks ever so 憂鬱 and has the most 'sacred' msn ID not to be revealed unless absolutely necessary,
Miss 雪人... the one who loves to drink lemon tea as much as me

Then... we've also got many visitors every day.. including these little things... hehe

Its Dude, Hamtaro and Elvis!
erm the rest is grass....

Before I end off this post, I cannot leave out the most important section of the entire office...

where can be more important than our...

FRIDGE!!

Of course... its where all the hungry people turn up digging for food and drinks. So its really really really really very important (and it doesn't help that its right next to my desk!)

You see.. our little snack bar is self-generating (since we can't make claims for it), so people pay any amount for what they take...

Here's what it looks like =). The head of a particular person has been 'blacked out' to protect him wahhaha.

Oh yeah, I just remembered one more thing.......
How could I not mention, my favourite bubble milk green tea from maxwell market?

It is absolutely the best!! (no other stall can beat it, you'll have to try it to know why)

Ok, gotta end now..

Work is still work no matter what.. and there are bound to be so many unpleasant things happening. But all we've gotta do is to embrace the good parts of it all, and be happy =)

蜻蜓明天哪兒跑

2006-11-07T00:22:00.000-08:00

聽說... 兩首歌都已經開始在播了

只可惜還沒親耳聽見...

那種感覺應該是很奇妙吧 =)

好久了, 還是不見.

2006-10-31T12:04:00.000-08:00

I still remember how SH said, that was the longest '知足' he ever heard... you know, it felt the same for me too. And as he sang '知足的快樂　叫我忍受心痛'.. I had a bad premonition, which came true eventually.

Our hearts sank but our hopes never died.

'那樣的回憶　那麼足夠'.

雖然沒看到你那天的眼神, 可是以前的回憶還是在我腦海中.
真的是好久...不見. 好久了, 還是不見.

期待下一次吧. 只要我們大家都是有夢想的人...

=================================

知足

怎麼去擁有　一道彩虹
怎麼去擁抱　一夏天的風
天上的星星　笑地上的人
總是不能懂　不能覺得足夠

如果我愛上　你的笑容　
要怎麼收藏　要怎麼擁
有如果你快樂　不是為我　
會不會放手　其實才是擁有

當一陣風吹來　風箏飛上天空　
為了你而祈禱　而祝福　而感動　
終於你身影　消失在人海盡頭　
才發現　笑著哭　最痛

那天你和我　那個山丘　
那樣的唱著　那一年的歌
那樣的回憶　那麼足夠　
足夠我天天　都品嚐著寂寞

知足的快樂　叫我忍受心痛
知足的快樂　叫我忍受心痛

my to-be purchase..

2006-10-30T00:06:00.000-08:00

a macbook (if all things fall through).. coz sh managed to talk me out of getting a powerbook.

Good thing i've been doing so many extra 'jobs' this whole month to build up my mac-fund. In burn out mode.. but i'm sure it'll be worth it.

As they say, 萬事俱備只缺東風... this was what I lacked all this while.

Just thought through all the money I spent throughout the years.. trying to build up my 'gear' at home. Can't be compared to lots of people.. but here goes:

semi-acoustic guitar	$400
cables and misc	$300
protools	$1,000
headphones	$220
fender electric	$800
guitar amp	$200
macbook	$1,400

Total	$4,320

This isn't inclusive of the almost $2k keyboard my parents kindly bought for me.. and my other sleeping in the closet classical guitar and violin.

Neither does it include whatever lessons I went to take (plus my very expensive dip), nor the money spent in jamming and gigs and what-nots....

At least I'm gonna be able to use a line 6 pod for free (thanks to my nice colleague js.. and the guitar efx from uncle Z.. altho the guitar he wanted to lend me cannot really make it, which made me end up buying my fender, but thank you to him too!)

Who said doing music is cheap...

Someday.. I'll get there...

been more involved in production work lately.. nice to see my own name appear in credits for purposes other than coordination.
if you'll see it, you'll see it =). if not, then till next time!

maybe its meant to be

2006-10-29T13:35:00.000-08:00

don't know how to describe my feelings now... feels empty, feels heavy.. yet there is a sense of relief.

I never was a lucky person, never won anything in lucky draws.. and now in a situation that I strove so hard to be at, I never got the single opportunity that I wanted. How more unlucky can I be? It was being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Everything that I have, where I am, the things that I have... I worked hard for. If I was lucky, I would have been in this industry years ago.. and not climbing my way up at 26.

Probably this is how it should have been... (or am i just consolling myself). The words I had in mind would probably not have come out of my mouth, if there was a face to face encounter.

Probably I should be happy enough that the words I intended still got to him, even though not through my own mouth.

But thank you sh for feeling what I felt, and conveying these on my behalf. And I still can't believe you cried... but because of that. I know I must be the luckiest girl to have you.

I'm sure he will know what the card means.
And I continue to believe that one day... there will be other opportunities, probably another one along the way very soon =)... I hope. So long as I continue working hard where I am now.

Although hope brings disappointment when it doesn't materialise... its still much better to have hope. At least... life feels brighter this way.

It will take time to get over this episode, but I'm still glad you were there with me.

我還記得　我們的約定.....

rollercoaster ride

2006-10-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, was a day full of ups and downs... a day of both tears and laughter

And it all happened at work, where I never stepped out from the office from 10am till 230am.
What a day...
What a day to remember...

It was the day where i shot back in a not so nice email, finally blarring out whatever I had inside me and then I cried in front of him. Not that I wanted to, but it just flowed out.

Maybe it helped, coz he was nice to me after that, reassuring me alot of things but of course maintaining his 'status' and image of 'wisdom'.

I didn't agree with everything of course, because if you keep comparing people between people, country between country, there will never be an end to it. But what matters to me, is personal growth and learning that counts.

I lots my appetite that day.. had a late lunch that my colleagues 'da bao' for me.

Then I didn't go for dinner either although I had a 'job' from 8pm to 12am.

Little did I know what this 'job' was about when I accepted it. And since everyone was busy with other projects, I had to take it on alone.

Whether it was a shock or a pleasant surprise, I don't know, but I felt paralyzed and scared to know who I was actually going to record. Didn't have a choice to chicken out or anything, so I just had to be brave.

Think I sounded stupid at times when he was talking to me. Damn.. me and my vocabulary of Chinese just aint enough sometimes. Could see the look of confusion of his face, and he must think i'm weird.

Not wanting my nerves to get to me, I carried on trying to appear professional since this was only my second 'job' on my own. These people must have gone through so many similar situations before, and I must probably be the first female they encountered... the lousiest one maybe =P. Absolutely no confidence of myself...

And all throughout, I was worried I'll spoil everything for him.
Nonetheless, we completed everything (not the best, I know) but, in the time that they wanted.
And I was still pretty satisfied with what turned out =). The final product.. will be the true testimony of everything.

Waking up today, it felt like a dream. I still can't believe what happened yesterday.
And still I felt like an idiot...

Oh yeah, yesterday was the day that marked the birth of a very special baby too ;)
Congrats to gy, congrats to md! See you guys this weekend... its been a long time....

dream dream dream

2006-10-14T23:10:00.000-07:00

Everyone loves to dream.. but I think, I've just got too many dreams.

Some people will feel i've fulfilled mine.
Yes, there are certain parts of my life that I'm totally grateful for and I am living out dreams that I've harboured for a long period of my life.

But I'm really greedy I guess.

Being right here right now, I know that ultimately.. where I want to get to, is not within this little place. But to somewhere, where I belong. Something of my own, surrounded by people and happy faces, surrounded by music of all kinds and the joy of the freedom that comes with it.

I will never be able to withstand the loneliness of the job that those at the top levels of my department have to go through.
I fear loneliness.

My ultimate dream.. when I fulfill it, I'll let you guys know ;) but it wouldn't be this soon.

And in the midst of it, I've got so many other little dreams and fantasies I hope to see happen.
Don't we all hope?

If we do not reach for the skies, we'll never realise that we can actually attain it.
I will keep on believing. But in the meanwhile, I'm biting my lips and hanging on, to learn as much as I can, to build up the self confidence that I've always lacked.

My closest aim in the near future would be to turn my position from P.A to A.P
Not sure if I have that ability (there.. my lack of confidence again) but I will try... and I am trying. All I need to do is believe in myself.

Pardon me.. but at this moment, i'm feeling quite sentimental, so this is gonna feel like a award ceremony thank you speech, altho I have won nothing...

Thank you to my parents who have cried along with me, put in so much money into my beliefs and learnt to trust in my plans along the way.
To sh for always telling me to quit everything, because it makes me even more persistent in pushing on =P and for lending me a shoulder to cry on whenever I needed
To my theatre teacher for making me less of an introvert and seeing my own inner potential
To 'ah beng' for telling us to 'leave the classroom if we felt we could be doing better things out there'
To all those who have believed in me and given me the many opportunities along the way
To md for the inspiration they have given me to be where I am now

Suddenly, listening to md's gong lang feels so apt now.
Looking forward to seeing them again soon.. its been really long.
Maybe that'll inspire me further... for years to come.

Has the adventure ended?

2006-09-25T00:49:00.000-07:00

I must say that I appreciate the opportunties I've been given.. and joining this company for only less than a year, I've had the priviledge of travelling 3 times with the team.

Its been a week since I returned from Wuhan...

Erm, thats not me in the picture. But I took it as we were on the tarmac, about to board the plane as you will see below...

Why am I blogging backwards? Actually I have no idea too haha.
Anyway, it was in general, a tiring and not so exciting nor happy trip.
Here are the reasons why:

1) It was a handover trip for me (which meant I didn't have to do the actual work but did more guiding and teaching). For the first time, I just sat on stage doing nothing... well, almost nothing =P
2) Z my scrabble friend and Y my regular room-mate weren't there on this trip.
3) I had a room all on my own (i'm not so much of a loner, but I got through those 4 days)

So this big room all for me... one to sleep on, the other for my luggage to sleep on =P. I'll rather not have this 'treatment'... because it was really pretty lonely.

4) The tiresome flight transfers from Singapore>Guangzhou>Wuhan and back.
It says 'transfer' isn't it?
Just that this transfer involved, going through immigration at Guangzhou, collecting your luggage, walking all the way to the domestic airport, checking in all over again and going through immigration before boarding the plane to Wu han.

5) During rehearsals, I was stuck in between 2 very very very very heavy smokers. Made my nose run like mad each night I returned to the hotel. I think half my lungs are black by now.

6) First time I went to a country and never really knew what the country was about. Simply because we were only given food vouchers for 3 meals each day. And the food... was the buffet provided at the hotel. On the first day, it was scrumptous as we were hungry to the core... by the 3rd meal.. we were sick of the food because they never did change their menu even during lunch or dinner. In all, we ate around 6 meals there (skipped some breakfasts and had some meals at the venue itself).

Oh yeah... i think i forgot to mention that the hotel is called

7) I was not only asthmatic most of the time.. my big aunt had to come visit me on the show day. As if I was not already quiet enough... the pain made me pretty glum and antisocial.

I'm pretty glad I don't have to go on the next trip actually.... coming back to s'pore, I really find myself happier without the bosses around hahah (yes thats essentially the whole point). Nobody to pick on all your little mistakes and ignorances.

And no more flights and long bus trips... strange toilets, awkward dinners, inhaling chimneys of smoke, lonely hotel rooms, spending lots of money on personal phone bills...

At least for now... its over. Wouldn't miss the rest of the places coming up. But I really hope to do that one trip..... really really do. I'm sure SH knows which one I mean hehe.

In the meanwhile, I shall enjoy the freedom in S'pore without any governance... and days where my whole department will be empty except for me. hiak hiak... everything is mine to use.

Huat La!

2006-08-15T00:08:00.000-07:00

Today is a strange day...

Because it was a day with stories of crows attacking people, fireworks almost burning up someone's hair, and the grand prize of the toto draw.

It started when I reached office and began chomping on my apple... A told me there was muah chee than auntie bought for us. Could have guessed it, she usually buys stuff for us to eat when she has won some lottery money.

After a while, we learnt from auntie that just the other day when she was walking on the street, a crow zoomed down and started pecking her head, then hovered around her before she fled off quickly. Her friend told her she was very 'suay' to encounter this and she'd better not buy 4D, because she wouldn't win anything.

Nonetheless, she still went to buy her usual number... and she actually struck the first prize. Unfortunately, she had opted for the permutations of that number, so she only walked away with $600.

Just about an hour or so later, Y came into office and began telling us the story of again.... 4D.

She was in JB with J and after the fireworks were set off, they came raining down on the people below. As they tried to quickly avoid, the sparks fell onto J's head. Of course, they managed to 'extinguish' it... his hair didn't catch fire. But Y took the opportunity to ask for 4 numbers from J.

Not the most creative of numbers, he offered her with 5-5-6-6...

And she really did buy the number after she returned to sg. But maybe because a fire didn't actually go off on J's hair =P, that she missed by just a number (5-4-6-6).

Excited by the coincidence of stories about buying 4d (one winning and one not winning), plus an association with things falling on the head... we quickly told Y about auntie's story as well.

In came auntie after a while, and Y began to ask auntie for 7 numbers to buy toto for today's big draw.

We did buy those 7 numbers... and its shared out by 10 people, each paying 35cents.

The results are out by now, but we haven't compared them to our ticket yet. The ticket now lies in the most 'wang' area of our office... the 'cai wei'... aka our finance room haha.

Tomorrow.... we shall know.

I think we are mad... but it was fun whether or not we win anything =).

Huat la!!

Congrats =)

2006-08-09T02:08:00.000-07:00

Feel really happy for him that he's finally got this far. And I'm sure he'll do well, given his talents... his youth is also his advantage. I've been amazed all along that there can be someone like this in s'pore.

Finished listening to his album from top to bottom and I can never deny this boy's abilities. Who can? Good job too to J and everyone... Ah S, you'd better treasure what you've found =P

I wish i had that talent at that age too.. but some of us just ain't as lucky..

Whatever it is, All the best!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc-BhehZaW4&mode=related&search=

Everybody else there.. I miss you guys. Think of everyone all the time.. all the past events we did, happy or sad things that happened, (the many many) people I've met along the way. It was just too colourful a life to forget. And I miss it far too much, yet I don't want to go back there anymore.

Heard that Sy has left but hope the rest of the boys work hard...

2006 - the year of travel

2006-08-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

Of course, I can't compare to Miss Shirley-frequent-flyer-Lim heheh.. but just wanted to blog this down, so I'll remember it in future....

as the year that I've flown overseas the most number of times

1.1.2006 - 5.1.2006 Hong Kong
7.6.2006 - 12.6.2006 Shanghai
29.6.2006 - 2.7.2006 Genting
19.7.2006 - 24.7.2006 Taipei

Next stop
16.9.2006 ...... Wu Han

It'll probably be the last stop for me as I'll be handing the baton over.. quite sad actually.
Now I can only wish for a chance to be there at the final pit stop when it materializes =)

Tpe Photo Blog (3)

2006-08-04T03:12:00.000-07:00

Before I proceed.. I need to state to the world that lots of these photos were taken by SH (coz he was feeling imbalanced that people might think i took all of these when I didn't..) =P

excuse my lack of creativity in blog titles.. but its functional enough to be understood

continuing with my photo blog! here goes... what we did while we were there, including the ffh concert =)

Off we went happily to 101.. hoping to look down from the top most floor of the tallest building in the world. But with the tallest buidling, and the fastest elevator, comes the most expensive ticket in the world just to ride an elevator up to not the top most floor but the 89th floor and enjoy the view from there. So of course, shocked by the price, we didn't go up afterall.. ended up exploring the bookshop there haha

Did I mention that tpe was really really hot? Yes, it was terribly horribly hot...
And look at the crowd in this photo... danshui that day was not just smouldering hot but it was packed with people meandering down the streets. When we reached a little local cafe.. it was like an air-con oasis that we wished we never had to leave.

That same night, I met up with S (my sg colleague) and J (my tw colleague) for dinner.
Took an extremely long walk to J's house because he made it seem so close to the MRT station =_= when it really meant walking up to 20mins or even half an hour (it was so long that I can't remember). Anyway, getting down to this picture above...
Its J's dog. Finally met her after J showed us her photo while in Shanghai.
This dog doesn't stay put... and I couldn't manage any single good photo of her

On the day we were intending to take a train down to Ruifang... the station was packed...
Signs plastered on every ticketing window read 'seats fully sold. standing only' (not the exact phrase). Took us pretty long to finally get our tickets, which we had to wait around an hour for the train to leave.
Lesson learnt.. never attempt to take the train out of the city on weekends, including fridays!

Hopping onto the train.. we just laid our butts down on any seat we saw, not very sure whether they were meant to be occupied by someone else.
My source of entertainment on the train... wanwan's book.
Although I dozed off after a while from waking up too early.. and SH got chased out of his seat by an old man who wanted to sit down (till now we suspect if he was the true 'owner' of that seat or he just found SH good to bully hahahah)

The long flight of stairs up towards the main street of Jiufen.
We will definitely remember these stairs. Despite the heat and us perspiring like nothing after making it up... it was fun =)

What greeted us when we got up, was this great view! And my attempt at pieceing together my own panorama shot haha. Inspired by SH's phone camera hehe.

And this pig head as well! heheh.. a very cheery looking one.
Don't really know what its for... a coin bank? Or useful for loansharks who don't like the actual gory pig head =X

Jiufen not only has coffee shops as Cheer sings... but its got this too
Never underestimate small towns. They've got everything planned ;)

Moving on with the mafia to KeeLong where we went in search for seafood.
And we found it along this long street of food, Miaokou night market
The seafood was good... really good. Even the fried rice was the best fried rice I've ever had.. Just like how I described then, the taste was 'special'

The first performance that we watched in tpe was wonfu.. at the witch house.
Wanted to go there to eat and wait for the show to start but we were kept out, so we had our dinner at the restaurant next door (had really lousy noodles) then returned half an hour later to see a very long queue.
Crossed our fingers as we slowly waded towards the entrance half an hour after we joined the queue. But we ifnally made it in.. only to standing space, with all of us squeezed in a corner

What can I say? The performance was simply excellent and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves through and through. The laughter, the music, the corniness, the silliness, the sing alongs... a band that knows how to have fun.
Small scaled shows in such environments always brew great performances. By the way.. xiaomin (the lead guitarist and singer) has a goose cap on his head... as part of their finale song 'hen duo er' (lots of geese) hehehe. I miss the performance already... when will we ever watch them live again? I really wonder and look forward to it.

And one of the main reasons for this trip (apart from the HHY that was our very intial plan but got cancelled at the last min... )
The F-FFH.....

The concert begins! We weren't very near to the stage.. neither were we very far =P
There were extensions all round the stadium and towards the middle of the stadium was another platform. You'll see it below...

Close encounter of a 3rd kind...
A kind where the platform goes so high that being too near.. you only see the bottom of the structure and the rest of the performance is left to imagination hehe.

The very cool laser lights reflected by Stone during Qing Gong....stretching across the stadium..

The crowd at fffh. Was surprised that day to learn that S & B were there watching the concert as well. Of course, they wouldn't make B stand all throughout the concert... but still, they left early. All the better hehe.. but still I couldn't escape the stupid question when I returned to sg "So, did you also wave lightsticks ?" =_=

All in all, I did prefer the sg concert more.. because there were less extensions to make watching the show less confusing trying to watch them run round the stadium. And it was a little saddening to know who was the focus of everyone's attention (so much so that he felt like a magnet indicating north and most of the crowd were the compass).

As nic said, it was like a farewell concert. We don't know what holds after this world tour spanning 2 years finally ended that fateful day. Will they be still playing as one band? Will there be more concerts in future? Lots of questions linger...
But I prefer to let them think for themselves... just as we all have dreams. They have their own individual dreams as well.

你有梦想吗?

追求梦想辛苦吗?

----------------------------

Tpe Photo Blog (2)

2006-08-02T23:54:00.000-07:00

THE TOP 10 COUNTDOWN OF THE INTERESTING SIGHTS IN TPE =)

At No. 10, we see a sea of green grapes! haha.. actually...

I don't really know what this character is called =P.
This is one of those grab machines or whatever they should be properly known as (please enlighten me) that you find all over tpe...
The Smelly Toufu Ambassador at No. 9
And I thought only Singaporeans would say 'smery' haha.
But this certain gives a whole new perspective to 'Smery Toufu'... what you definitely cannot miss in tpe... especially the smell (if you know what I mean). I don't love it, I don't hate it... but I'll still eat it ;)

At No. 8.. presenting to you.. a Singapore Vehicle license!
Doesn't seem like anything special right.. but not when its slid in between the table and the glass cover of a table at one of Jiufen's yam dessert shop. Look for it if you ever go there... plus lots of stuff left behind by others as well.

Here we have at No.7... wan wan's dvd-r..
Find the cartoon familiar? Check out our msn avatars once in a while ;)
We got her comic books as well... the first Chinese books that I've ever read from cover to cover (and I'm not bluffing).. of course, apart from my school textbooks hehe.

No.6!! Life is short, why diet?
Need I say more?
So true... yet how I wish the world could think like this hehe..

No.5... we have the dogfood that all schnauzer's will love!
Maybe I should get it for pepper, then she can start to spot some cool sunglasses as well.

Here we have at No.4, the very very very very friendly 7-11 trainee staff!
How will you feel walking into a shop with the entrance lined with 2 rows of 7-11 staff and the moment you walk in, they all bow with ultimate precision and with the most cheery voice greet you with 'huan ying guang ling'!
Me? I think I would rather go to another 7-11 hahah.

No. 3 is Mr Basker
(the basket-busker.. or the busker with the basket over his head...)
This was at the tpe underground street mall... he was playing japanese music, but I truly have no idea why he had to cover his head and then play his flute under it.
Your guess is as good as mine!

At No. 2 we have the latest in luggage fashion... the body bag!
This wasn't in tpe but on the belt at sg airport haha... just that it came from our flight. I really wouldn't want to know what's inside but such 'packaging' can make everyone's imagination run wild. Not to mention... it was unclaimed for and rotating round the belt several times...

Standing at No. 1 is this sign.
And we thought 'no outside food' was a bad enough summary of no food bought outside these premises are to be consumed here (or something of this nature). Guess the limited space on signs and the lengthiness of english explanations, does force people to come up with lots of 'creative' ideas hehehe.

Tpe Photo Blog

2006-07-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

finally! i'm getting down to bloggin about the trip... won't be alot of words simply because I'm lazy. And as they say, a picture paints a thousand words, so I'll let the pictures do (most of) the talking =)

And as I always do, I won't be posting day by day events... but just whatever I feel categorizes well together. This time, I shall we starting with f-o-o-d... because thats always been and always will be the best part about tpe...

Our ice feast and a very delicious "guan cai ban" on the day we arrived in tpe =)
If you are wondering, the ice on the left is coffee flavour.. to me, it was just coffee ice, but our coffee lovers simply loved it ;). I still prefer mango haha

SH just had to buy this when he saw the packaging. And how amused we were when we realised the bread was really shaped like a banana... or should I say shaped vaguely like one. Looks more like a boomerang to me =P. And yes, I know the word 'shape' is a very sensitive word these days... *frown*. Expecting some comments to appear under this post soon? *grin*

Fried Durian! in danshui... but the weather was far too hot (hot, is simply an understatement) to even have that urge to try this. Next time maybe hehe...

One of the many 'bian dang' that we had... this one that SH had (Chicken noodles) on the night of the concert, was quite good.. but apparently the best 'bian dang' we ever had.. and we always went back for more, I haven't got photos of it heh.

Here we are grinning like idiots, pointing at who-knows-what because SH didn't angle his camera correctly to show what we are so happy about hahha. Anyway, the answer revealed below!

Its the absolutely fantastic, heat-reducing, mouth-watering, superlicious, can't-get-anywhere-else-but-at-ice-monster's mango ice!!

The focus of this picture... its not the man... but notice the big tenticles in the foreground? Gotta be careful while typing the word tenticles... otherwise it'll be hey, shall we have some test- ermm
tenticles?

The famous "hao da" chicken cutlet. However, the best one is not at shilin, as everyone knows it. Try this one out at Shih Da Night Market. Its the 2nd year we've gone back to eat it and it still tastes great ;)

Another must eat at Shih Da! The best Dou Hua you can ever eat... its true. They won't really sell it to you plain because its tasteless. The brilliance of it comes from the choice of redbean / barley/ peanut soups that they combine with it.

I love 'lu wei'! And again.. this is at Shih Da... definitely the ultimate night market to feast at. Just looking at this picture makes me so hungry now. That day.. was 'intestine day'... SH took so many that ours cost a bomb.. 3 times the cost of what everyone else was paying =_=. But still, I gotta say.. the taste... is worth it!

On the day we were going to fly back to s'pore... we headed out to have steamboat. We figured.. how can you be in tw and not eat steamboat. Didn't regret it... because the variety was so great, it was unbelieveable. Especially the icecream, fruits, desserts.... as compared to what we get here. But this was probably the reason for the bad sorethroat I got after coming back hahaha.

又是我想太多嗎?

2006-07-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

沒想到過了那麼久, 還是會有纏繞不散的心結. 也就因為那張不該是我的DVD.

不只是, 不該是我的, 它也應該是不存在的.

我知道大家因為珍惜友誼才不攤開來說, 都悶在心理面... , 所以我才覺得應該在這裡說一下... 希望不會引爆第三個世界大戰 =).

我甲在兩對朋友之間...

首先, 是把DVD交給我的朋友. 她要我給的承諾就是不會再複製... 知道她是辛苦得來的, 我當然答應了她.

另外一邊則是希望我信任的朋友...

我一直不能答應你們的要求, 就因為那當初的承諾. 我答應了她, 我就沒辦法不守信用.
如果覺得是我自私而不肯分享的話, 或覺得我不夠信任你們, 我也只能接受...

This is a promise that I have to keep. 也只能懇求你們諒解...

Feeling energized at 3.30am

2006-07-17T03:42:00.000-07:00

weird... but true. haven't sweated it out like that in a long while. Haven't had a long day of running around in a long time.

And yea, i definitely do miss it. Even looking at the crew there... how envious of them I am, I wish I could return to that bit of the past once again. The tiredness, the perspiration, the walking, standing, running, waiting, and the heat... call me 'bian tai', but these are still what gives me satisfaction, as compared to sitting in an office or even staying in the studio. Although yes, I still love music and making music very much.

I don't know if I should rethink my path.

Probably its just there's that RPG character around that makes me feel this way now.. but somehow I really still miss putting together live entertainment....

I guess, I just can't be enclosed....

Are these silly thoughts? I wonder...

my once in a blue moon blog

2006-06-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

here I am again.. after one trip and one gig.

Been wanting to blog on shanghai since I came back.. but i won't be posting everything about it here, nor all the photos, because I like to be mysterious ya? =P

I must say... that the trip to shanghai was a really really fun one, although I was going there for work. My task was basically just one thing, so I didn't have the type of headache I would get while I was working in Singapore. Life was straight forward... and in between, we would squeeze out time for eating, shopping and meeting old colleagues who had already left our company (to me, they're new friends rather than old).

In general, I just met lots and lots and lots of people... from hongkong, china, taiwan, malaysia and singapore. encountered a culture unlike ours.. and saw things from a different point of view (literally) for the first time.

So here goes... a simple photo blog of what I saw while in shanghai =)

Departing from Singapore.. my first time overseas for work. So gotta take a photo of the not very interesting LCD screen. Pardon me =P

When we landed, it was raining quite heavily and the air was misty. The 'fun' part of it all was, everyone was given a yellow raincoat upon leaving the plane. Why? Because the moment you step out, you get drenched. Why? Because the plane doesn't connect to an aerobridge.. and so the raincoat is supposed to keep you dry as you run down the stairs with your luggage and run into the already crowded bus of people in yellow raincoats.

Anyway, this photo is a view from the bus we were on (heading for our hotel).. shows how gloomy the weather was that day.

Some pictures of the hotel room and the view from our window. Pookie, our well-travelled friend, very kindly offered to be model in these 2 photos.

The '7 No's as you will see are:
1) Do not spit
2) Do not litter
3) Do not destroy public property
4) Do not destroy greenery
5) Do not jaywalk
6) Do not smoke in public areas
7) Do not use vulgarities

I think we probably need some of these here as well? =P

Hongkou Stadium.. kinda reminded me of Shi Li in tw.. just that this one has very fierce security who like blow their whistles at people for stepping on the grass =_=. How precious is the grass... or do they have not much on their hands to do actually?

I'm not me if I don't take photos associated to food haha. The 2 photos above show a contrast between 2 places that I ate at... one for the lower class and one for the upper class of Shanghai. The setting for the high class restaurant was of course more comfortable, but I must say that I enjoyed the simple but tasty fare of the little roadside stall much much more. Sorry I didn't photograph the food itself.. because when food comes, I forget about my camera hahah.

Where's the food? Here's the food! On the left is the dessert.. mango pudding that we had during breakfast one day.. yummy. And on the right.. a big feast of ma la huo guo. This was not lunch, not dinner, but supper! After a hard day's work that day.. we were definitely hungry and the food was excellent.

Our flight home =). Didn't have the chance to take a photo of the plane, the day we landed.. so had to seize the opportunity now haha. It was bright and sunny.. contrast to when we arrived. Yet, our plane was delayed... but nonetheless, it was fun playing scrabble with uncle Z.. all the way from shanghai back to sg, although I had to shake him off eventually because I wanted to sleep.

Now, I'm looking forward to the next trip at the end of the month to genting.. and thereafter, it'll be some time before the next one.

Upcoming gigs

2006-06-05T01:44:00.000-07:00

For the benefit of the mafia.. I'm gonna post it here =)

(If you guys dont' mind the repeated songs, you can come again haha.. because we have no time to prepare for new ones.. Just that the drummer may be different this time round)

14 June (wed) - 9.15pm Cineleisure
17 June (sat) - 8.55pm Plaza Singapura

My luggage to Shanghai

2006-06-05T00:54:00.000-07:00

Kindly packed by Mr SH....

From top left to right:
1) My doraemon umbrella from taiwan
2) A stitch plush toy given by sh
3) A pookie plush toy given by sh (that we cruelly separated from Garfield)
4) Elvis mag with Ashin on cover (give by shir)

From bottom left to right:
1) My trusty box of tissue that helps me stop my runny nose
2) My new black jacket that I bought for this trip
3) A mini doraemon cushion given by sh

Ultimate Burnout

2006-06-05T00:21:00.000-07:00

But its was definitely rewarding =)

The past 4 days was a non stop life.. of playing music and singing. Work of course is music, but its not the same as being a musician and having direct contact with your listeners.

I'm not very much of a performer nor a very excellent performer, but I do love the feeling having myself heard and just entertaining people with what i do best.

Thursday was the start of the marathon where we met for our 3 hour long jam session with K (the keyboardist) and Piyo-Piyo (my nickname for the very fun loving drummer) whom we've roped in to help us for the upcoming gig.

I left that session with a stuffed ear (because Piyo-Piyo does play the drum super loudly, but he's definitely a great drummer).. and aching feet because of work the day before and having to stand throughout the jam session.

Friday... we were due to jam again. By this day, I was already aching all over. Like I said, my company had a big event on Wednesday which really took a toil on me and my entire body. Plus the fact that I had to carry my heavy guitar for the 2nd day already (each day, it just felt heavier).

Didn't eat much that day either, so I was stuffing springrolls into my mouth quickly in between songs. And again after a 2 hour plus jam session, I headed for the far away mrt to make it for the last train home. And to prepare for the early soundcheck the next day. Needless to say, my body was aching even more than the day before and ears even more stuffed up haha.

Saturday. Woke up at 830am.. the time I usually wake up everyday to go to work. Its a saturday! of course.. I groaned as I woke up thinking how every weekend is always burnt away somehow. But off I headed for dg...

Reached a little past 10am and only YJ was there. Soon the rest arrived, as we were melting away and we were done with our soundcheck in quite a jiffy. Almost fainted when we heard of the big names who were gonna play in this same gig. But we stuck with it in believing that firstly... we're the only chinese band and we're fronted by girls (consolling ourselves? heheh maybe.. but I believe that we still have something different about us)

We then headed down to FT where we booked the studio from 12-1pm for a short jam before our gig. Had a light and happy breakfast at a nearby eatery.. it was fun and Piyo Piyo was always as entertaining as ever.

The jam session was actually a pretty good one.. everything sounded good, I could even hear my voice clearly.. which was properly why I felt disoriented when we finally got on stage later on and all the sound balance was different.

2pm.. the actual performance. It was simply very very very hot and I was perspiring all the way.. couldn't focus very well and i was forgetting lyrics here and there... missing out on certain parts that I was supposed to play, plus struggling with the balance of my guitar.

But things still went on pretty smoothly nonetheless.. and we got quite alot of good feedback, despite us being disappointed with ourselves. We knew we could have done better, just as we always play in our jam sessions.. but I guess what we learnt is that in gigs, we've got to learn how to adapt better to imbalances and sudden mishaps (like snapped strings.. hehe).

2 more gigs to come after I return from shanghai.. hope I won't be out of touch with my guitar after being away from it for almost a week. Gigs are tiring.. but they're definitely quite an experience =).

If you are thinking this is the end of my post... no its not because it goes on to Sunday!

Sunday... the day were I go busking with hx. its an assigment that we've got.. the rest I guess I'll reveal later hehe. We were tasked first to get the busking license just like any other busker (and yeah we got it), so today... off we went to orchard and singapore river, to 'test' out various spots. And yea, we did busk and earn some money.... a whopping.... $8.70!

We definitely fail as buskers haha but then real buskers don't just stay in one spot for 20mins and move to another. We covered a total of 7 spots... earned the most from the most comfortable place we could be in... and the least at the place where we were both melting away.

It did feel weird just standing there, her playing the guitar and me singing. Especially when she ended up with a 5 string guitar, plus the fact that we were doing this with no amps, and no mics... but just an acoustic guitar.

By the end of the day... we were completely drained. She was playing out of rhythm and I was singing like a chicken haha. And my comment to her was... after 4 days of singing like this, I must have a super diaphragm now. Really good training I must say...

Having a migraine now... legs feel soft too.. but this week and the weekend has been a journey unlike any other weekend.

Right now, i'm looking forward to the next 2 weekends too. Next week, I'll be in shanghai..

And the following week, our other gig.

I'm burnout... I wish I could have more sleep... but I simply cannot deny that all these have been the experience of a lifetime that I can look back to smile on.

Thanks especially to hx and yj for giving this to me. And of course, sh plus the mafia who are always around clapping and cheering for us =)

Am I becoming more stupid

2006-05-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

Sh says its because I never do get enough sleep.. which is on average always around 5 hours of sleep a day.. and alot of weekends, I don't rest either. It could be true, but does sleeping less make you become more stupid?

I see it this way...

The more afraid I am to make mistakes, the more mistakes I tend to make. I was never like this in the past. Maybe its the job that I really hope to progress in and I don't want people to see me make mistakes or do things wrongly. Yet, the opposite tends to be happening. Maybe its still the same as any other job where I made mistakes.. just that I forgive myself less in this job (simply because I treasure it more).

So many times, when I find myself in places and situations that I couldn't even imagine myself in... I wonder why I am priviledged with these opportunities. What have I done in this world to deserve all these? Most importantly, am I clever and fast thinking enough for all these?

One thing for sure... I know I'm not PR enough. I warm up slowly to others and I'm always easily left out (unless someone introduces me to the stranger.. that person remains a stranger to me). This is something I can't help. I'm not there to be a marketing or PR person anyway... thats when I miss the people I'm all so familiar with. Well, all I can hope is over this period where I'll be working closely with this group of people (plus the many more that I am due to meet).. I can warm up more quickly.

Even to him.. it still feels awkward, not knowing what to say even when he's sitting beside me.

I just don't know how to walk into a group of chatting people, and try to get myself involved in the chat... this is something I've never really learnt over the years.

I want to stay on in this job to learn more, to achieve what I could only dream about in the past.. but now its within reach if I know how to clinch the opportunities and work hard, to let my boss be happy with what I am and have done... (yeah, so as to raise my pay eventually). And essentially, I just want to be happy.

Yet, I know I can't always be in my comfort zone. I'm not an outward and extrovert character by nature... I can only hope for pple to know me better. I'm not unfriendly, I'm just quiet.

Yo Yo!

2006-05-14T02:13:00.000-07:00

Firstly... goodbye to my chatterbox that I never even knew disappeared. But truly, I guess no one will miss it hahah.

Haven't found the energy to blog in a long long time. But in that time that I used to use for blogging.. its now better spent, hugging the guitar. Although I would love soon to have my own guitar...

So.. just an update here. I am starting a Flo Guitar Fund.. and since its my birthday, what better time to 'capitalise'? heheh... but its all in the name of a good guitar at the end of the day. One that I can finally call my own.. one that won't have pickup problems.. and one that will be good enough for gigging. If you would like to donate to this fund, please contact me =). Any amount is acceptable, except for negative figures. Thank you!

Lots has happened since the month-ago-post.. I voted for the first time of course (didn't turn out as exciting and it all happened a little too quickly.. with not much secrecy and privacy I would say.. )

Lots of things to do at work, although I would love to learn more still... so I'm trying hard to revise stuff... hitting my school books again. I've got a goal in mind... but whether I can achieve it, depends on my own self study now, plus learning to PR better and learn just how to 'hang around'.

Lots of holidays this month too, which means less or should i say none.. in the few months to come.

Well, just learnt today that I'll really get to go shanghai with them. Won't deny feeling very happy about it, because its a great learning experience for sure. Plus, I get to travel, of course thats good! ... and it would also mean I get to go to genting as well... =)

By the way, there is a reason for my post title.
Its the 'yo yo' culture in my company. You go 'yo yo' when you see each other along the corridor, at the toilet and the boss says 'yo yo' when he returns from overseas. All except early in the morning (well, actually not that early for us too..) when everyone is still in a stoned state. But yo! I like it, at least everyone is cheery and smiling despite having deadlines and being stressed by work.

I would like to stay on long there to achieve my goal... but hopefully I can request for a pay raise in a few months time. Otherwise, survival will be tough.

Work's been swell so far, for those who are concerned about me. My band.. I'm glad we're still working hard together. And its been nice of an to come play with us sometimes. I hope we find our new drummer soon and maybe a keyboardist, so that I can slack a bit hehehhe.

Not sure when I will blog again.. but I (we) will be back! now doesn't this sound familiar heheh...

Errr

2006-04-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

Probably won't be blogging much anymore. Seriously I don't know where all my time went to.. maybe because of my working hours now, the days feel shorter and time passes real fast.

Not that I'm more busy than my previous job but yeah.. things are getting busy now. And I prefer it this way.

My blog will stay.. for those times when I really really just feel like writing something. It wasn't meant for the world to read anyway. And I never intended for the world to know everything I was and am doing neither.

Come by here each time the moon turns blue if you like and maybe you'll find a surprise ;)

Cheers!

as short as an entry can be..

2006-03-31T02:01:00.000-08:00

wow.. haven't blogged for a week. heheh.. seriously I just don't know how time just passes by with me not really knowing how it just passes by so quickly. hmm....

anyway, i'm blogging right now because I've finally succeeded in what I wanted to do for 2 whole weeks. its not the best outcome but with the equipment that I have.. I guess its as good as it can be. Whether anything good comes out from it, at least its a start that I've gotten going..

If something good comes from it, of course, that would be best =)

Wanted to sleep early today because of the terrible headache i had while at work.... but its not happening again =P. So much I want to do everyday... so much I still want to achieve.

Just gotta keep believing, keep trying, keep working hard.

A whole meal of fish

2006-03-24T23:34:00.000-08:00

We went out for a company 'excursion' today.. At 7pm, we turned off all our computers, and headed out in 3 cars plus a cab to make our way to a far away Japanese restaurant. In we went.. into a private room with a super long table, that could fit all 19 of us. I was famished from not having lunch earlier on (was caught up in meetings).. so I was truly hungry.

But well.. we couldn't eat yet, because there was a brief speech, followed by a prize presentation (it really felt like jing qu jiang haha...) and then lots of phototaking, before we could get down to eating. What were the prizes? For us who've only been there a few months.. we got a 512mb thumbdrive =), those who've worked longer got an ipod nano, a ipod video 30gig.. while the special achievement prize for those of 10 years and above.. got an ipod video of 60gig. Not bad I must say... definitely great motivation to work. hahah.. how about a powerbook next year when more investments come in =P

When we set out on eating at last.. I started on my favourite sashimi, which was just right in front of me. But soon became tired of it, because it was basically what I was eating the whole time, other than the many other types of fish that came along (too many types of fish... fried fish, snow fish, raw fish sushi, raw fish handroll... *gulp*... basically one year's supply of fish). I left the cooked stuff to my colleagues who didn't dare to eat the raw stuff nor fish... and so I had a great diet of fish today. More iron than I'll need in a week haha. For now, I think.... I'll stay away from fish for tomorrow.

The plate shows what was left (times another 3 plates that were spread across the long table), after my feeble attempt at trying to clear up one plate on my own.

My very corny boss suggested we tried to 'da bao', but of course being a buffet, we all knew it wasn't possible. We should have been glad we weren't fined for wasting food. But.. he still had to try it anyway.. and out he went with the excuse that we would like to use it to feed our cats at home.

Of course, he failed miserably.. only to tell us that the waitress wanted to keep it instead to feed her dogs. hahha... he got beaten by another person's corniness... that was ultimate.

But he did succeed though, in getting all of us a free handphone accessory each when initially only one of my bosses got it because he paid the bill. Not bad.. from 1 handphone accessory, it multiplied to 19. Just have to take my hat off to him =P

We didn't go bowling or play pool in the end, coz most of us were stoned by the end of the dinner, and some of them wanted to go back to the office to continue working. But it was still a fun dinner nonetheless... would be looking forward to the next one half a year later =)

yo yo

2006-03-24T02:01:00.000-08:00

I really haven't been blogging much lately. There are just lots of times when I've got many things on my mind that I want to pour out in writing, but never do in the end, because there are too many other 'distractions' around me that take away this priority. But then again, blogging never really was a priority. It was an outpouring of thoughts and whatever rubbish that could come out from me at that point in time. Like now =P

Each day I go to work, each day I see the people around me, I look at the things I'm doing, even just looking at my boss, feels so surreal. Its a job that I would never had thought I would be able to do, even to many.. its not the most glamourous type of job a graduate should do. But I see it as a job breaming and overflowing with possibilities and opportunities. Its just a matter of how well I can make use of these chances.

And I know I'm very lor sor to keep repeating to sh how I still can't believe I'm in this job. I've got my next step in mind.. I hope to be able to achieve it. Not asking for the skies, but maybe one day I might just reach it too.

For now, its already great for me that everyone is so willing to impart what they know to me, and have me involved. And its great to see smiles on everyone's faces everyday.

Tomorrow, we're supposed to be going out on a company outing. Us and our subsidiary company, plus the 3 bosses.. making a total of about 20 people. The plan is to have dinner and then go.... erm... bowling (*cough*). I'll rather go with the original plan of ktv with the pool table (although I don't know how to play pool... but I still like that super huge room with the super huge screen). But well, lets see what happens tomorrow ;)

treasure those around you

2006-03-20T09:04:00.000-08:00

I know i've disappeared for some time. Been busy for the past week.. not just jamming but mainly because of things that have happened at work, and also because of the unfortunate event that happened. But yesterday, I felt the warmth of friendship, as his old and new friends turned up to remember him. It was like a huge gathering yesterday and everyone left on a happy note, just as I believe he would have liked it to be.

Something one of his friends said yesterday really made me feel a sense of guilt in my heart. She said "don't wait till new year time to meet up with your old friends" (otherwise you never know when you may never see them again). How many of my old friends have I not met up with for so long because of the nature of my job and now that I've given my priority to music.

Today I get to go to work at 1pm because of the long day we've had yesterday. But I'm awake early nonetheless. Dad forgot his pass and I had to use our usual method of throwing it out of our window down to him (we live on the 7th floor). As I saw him run back, I could feel that he had aged. And it pained me to realise that both my parents are still working so hard at this age. We know it all the time, but such realisations are just heart breaking for it made me recall the days and nights he will spend pounding his legs or sitting and sleeping in awkward positions, just so they wouldn't ache so much.

They are in their mid 50s and me... I should be able to support them by now. But sadly, I still need them to help pay my phone bills for me while I support myself in other aspects of my life.

I wished my pay could be higher. It could be if I went for other jobs.. but I still wouldn't give up to be where I am now. I can only try to work as hard as possible, to get a pay rise after I am able to prove myself. But I know, it will still be some time before I can support them.

Am I selfish to want to achieve my own dreams and goals, while my parents continue to toil to keep us where we are?

My $9 Day

2006-03-15T00:32:00.000-08:00

Just as my title states, I only spent $9 today (not inclusive of transport of course) and it was because I spent the entire day at work (first time in a long long long long... too long while).

For $9 I had,
Lunch - Yong Tao Foo & a drink
Dinner - Fish Wanton Hor Fun & a drink
Supper - Cup Noodles

If only every day I could suffice my stomach with under $10, I could save so much in a month. hahaha... but its entirely impossible. Otherwise, I wouldn't be blogging about this rare occurance right here and right now. This day was sans meeting anyone, sans snacks, sans deserts, and sans expensive non-hawker food.

What's the point of this entry? I don't really know either... but just feeling very satisfied that I saved money today haha. And maybe because I've got my adrenalin pumping from finally having more substantial things to do.

My eyes are dry, my toes hurt a little, but it still feels good to be able to be where I am. Right now... I'm just interested in having a nice warm shower =)

Till then......

We have done it again!

2006-03-14T01:58:00.000-08:00

Yes.. once again.. we have booked tickets to tpe haha. and without knowing the dates of hhy, we had to make the guess. Scared for sure.. but we hope we guessed the dates right. Otherwise........ I'll rather not try to think otherwise... =P

Lots of things have happened since I blogged.

SH took on a freelance project that I think would be good exposure for him =)

Celebrated my mum's bday.. gave her the watch I bought for her, and we had chilli crab for dinner! I just wished, we could have more of it... coz it was a little unsatisfying to eat and end there hehe.

I gave my smelly dog a bath when I simply couldn't take it any longer..

Oh yeah, and our domain name got cut off too without us expecting. A little early I would say.. and only 8 days after we received our invoice. We were quite angry about it.. but in the end had to pay quickly still, coz SH was worried our domain would be bought off by someone else. And now.... I'm terribly poor (was already poor from buying my mum her bday present). Awaiting donations please!! =P

And we had our 2nd jam session at my house on Sunday. It was fun... being able to finally cover the songs properly at least hehe. We played wen rou again.. after such a long time, and suddenly it felt so easy to play. It was a good feeling though =) because it was through that song and that day that made me realise that we did improve along the way. That day, I played on after the girls left. Didn't go see the concert coz SH wanted to do his work.. so I played the guit till night time... till my wrists and fingers hurt so much.... till both arms ached. But it was a wonderful feeling.

** (I think its the amp.. it makes things sound better, even though its just a humble little toaster amp that used to act as a toy for a chinchilla hehe)

I'm setting goals for myself now.. especially with my added responsibility now. Whether we find a drummer or not, it all depends on fate.... the rest, is our own hard work.

And so..... 10 Things I need to constantly do for the next week:

1) Learn Keyboard and Sing S.B.S

2) Learn Guit and Sing Summer

3) Polish up Guit and Sing Hua

4) Revise Guit and Sing X.N / C.X.T.T / K.C / Z.Y / W.M.U.W.S.E

5) Learn Guit and Sing T.M.O

6) Learn Left hand Keyboard for Z.M.Y.C.J

7) Revise Keyboard and Sing Lydia

8) Refigure out the Rhythm Guit for H.E.A

9) Work on current originals and not neglect them

10 ) Compose more tunes

I want people to see me for what I am

2006-03-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

Its not that I think very highly of myself, but I just know that I'm capable of more. I can do alot of things that the people around me now don't know. I haven't had the chance to prove myself as yet... and it doesn't help that so many things have happened (both good and bad) since I joined, and that my direct boss, B, is always flying overseas.

I would like to take on more responsibilities, but so far, its just been the mundane. My brain doesn't feel stretched enough.. and I would love to help more, but its tiring to also ask every single person everyday if they need help with anything. So now I've just parked there and just wait to see if anyone needs me to help, then I'll start on it right away. But more often than not, I get it done in a jiffy.

Boss B was the one who interviewed and hired me, and I know there are many things that he intends for me to do. Definitely not what Boss C has in mind for me, when he came back to Singapore for a few days to handle administrative matters. What do you do when Boss C thinks that you are coming in late and should have proper reporting and leaving work hours, when actually Boss B told you to come in at that late hour?

I certainly hate being misunderstood and being 'underused'. I didn't work so hard equipping myself with all that I have, just to do admin stuff. But right now, I just have to grit my teeth through until the appropriate time comes. In fact, I feel bad too that I leave early every day, as though I'm someone who loves to slack.

Right now.. the timing just isn't right. It will take time for everyone to pick themselves up. Only then... will I try to speak to Boss B, that I believe I can handle more and hope that he can allocate me more responsibilities.

I'll just have to hope now that next week when our department begins on a project, I'll have more to do.

It makes me appreciate my ex-manager who knew my strengths and fully milked me dry of whatever I was or was not capable of. Trying to pick up my depressive thoughts now... its no use drowning myself in self-pity anyway. But I guess it'll take me time.

A Peek Into my Bag

2006-03-09T00:25:00.000-08:00

Got Mr b0h to 'shun bian' take these photos for me, since he was so into taking his own bag hehe.

There isn't alot inside my bag.. (especially rubbish haha.. because I just changed to this new bag not too long ago).

The long line of Mayday badges.. by far my favourite badges although some are quite scratched. It beats keeping them in its nice untouched packaging and not using them =P

What's in my bag?

- Water Bottle
- Wallet (Given by my mum years ago)
- Ipod Nano in a Red Pouch from HK and Fish out of Water Keychain
- Makeup Pouch (I got from Taipei and its now pretty dirty looking haha)
- Namecards & silver Namecard holder
- Ezlink card & Neoprint photo in a doraemon card holder given by my mum
- Chicken Little Notebook & Pen
- Fisherman's Friend (Strong Mint)
- Foldable Comb which I don't even use
- Home and Office Keys (with a Schnauzer keychain from my bro and Taz keychain from my JC secretpal which has already lost both its legs)
- The ever essential sanitary napkins that are not suitable to be photographed and placed here so they remain silently in the bag
- Sometimes my jacket which I have left behind at office today.
- And also the camera that we're using to take this photo hehe

Now isn't my bag just boring to peek into?

不知道說什麼好

2006-03-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

Another person I know has just passed away. Although I didn't know him for very long, I still felt a sadness, especially when I saw those who knew him best, started to tear. My heart broke for them.. its hard to lose family, a close friend, a confidante...

Another person who is still considered too young to have left this world. But it once again reminds all of us to treasure all the people around us, and to keep ourselves healthy so that we can prolong the time we have with our loved ones.

such beauty and soulfulness

2006-03-06T00:04:00.000-08:00

probably its the romantic lyrics.. and the emotion in her voice that brings out everything that the song intended - the feeling of being in love.

She's got such fantastic lyrics, not just in this song. I'm more and more in love with the naturalness of her voice. I used to just listen to her songs for easy listening, but ever since attending her concert with ying, I began to pay more attention to her lyrics.

A musician with such feeling in her music, and a singer who can bring out intensity and gentleness at the same time with her voice.

Just want to share this song called 'something about you' by Corrinne May.

You'll fall in love with the lyrics too......

Dont what you do to me but

Everytime I'm with you its a natural high

its like re-discovering Eden

with chocolate-coated rainbows and cotton candy skies

And everytime you look my way

I wish i had the guts to say

There's something in your eyes

Something in your smile

Something in the way you move me

You make me want to sing

Make me want to dance

Make me want to cry

I'm falling in love with you.

I think i'll hire Cupid

He'll make you see I'm more than your friend

You'll be tossing and turning

Counting the hours till you see me again

And when we meet you'll

Kiss my hand and say the words I've longed to hear

There's something in your eyes

Something in your smile

Something in the way you move me

You make me want to sing

Make me want to dance I'm falling in love with you

You make me want to sing

Make me want to dance

Make me want to cry

I'm falling in love with you.

More lyrics here for anyone interested: http://www.leoslyrics.com/artists/7223/

birthday dinner

2006-03-05T02:37:00.000-08:00

Today was my grand aunt's 80th birthday. Such an important day.. that I thought it was only right of me to attend it with my parents. So i blocked out the evening today specially for this.

As we stepped into the restaurant, I saw my relatives, greeted my grandaunt, grandma and relatives before I settled down in a seat, to 'park' there, as I usually do when I attend any dinners. I'm not much of a social butterfly.. so I stick to my seat alot.

From my seat, I surveyed the area, turning my head left and right to see who was seated where.. and it began to feel weird.

Firstly.. I realised that my direct cousins were all not there. Only all my distant cousins.. I mean of course it made sense because they are my grandaunt's grandchildren. But at that point, I did feel a little cheated and odd that everyone else there from my family were my elders.

Then I realised too that I was sort of 'underdressed'.. because everyone else was 'overdressed'? Sort of like what you'll see at a wedding dinner. But then again, if I were to attend a wedding dinner, I'll probably still dress the same way hahaha. Anyway, my parents weren't very dressed up either and since we were not in direct relation to my grandaunt, I think it didn't really matter...

An hour went by before another of my grandaunt arrived, so that we could start the dinner. Boy was I hungry.. because I hadn't had breakfast nor lunch the entire day. And so... the 10 course dinner began, with me once again boycotting the sharksfin soup (why can't people not have this during dinners!) and skipping the yam stuff.

The food wasn't too bad, although it wasn't the best. Filled me just enough, although I could have more. heheh...

At the end of the dinner, there was the 'customary' cake cutting, birthday song singing and photo taking. And soon, I headed outside of the restaurant where my parents had already taken refuge because the restaurant was simply too small for that many people. That was where I was giving out and exchanging name cards hehe.

Well, nothing exciting, except for seeing my dad's face and body turn red from drinking too much red wine.. and everyday telling him that he can't really drink haha. Found out too that one of my older cousins will be getting married in May, but not on my brithday hehe.

Even though I didn't really want to be there, it was a good feeling seeing my grandaunt happy to see me there. And that was really the least I could do... =)

Living a dream.. or living in a dream

Too Tired to Blog

Back to earth

讓我們盡情的撒野

To 天使

The moon is blue...

七月雪

瘋狂世界

是誰 需要殺手....

The day I got my voice back

Understanding Myself

Round and round and round

Smile, people, smile!

Women, don't complain!

The most priceless taxi ride home

Breaking down the walls of glitz and glamour

Why try so hard?

Its not easy to be me ...

Ripples in the water

Listen or we sink into nothingness!!

the four letter word

Take some time now...

Meritocracy is a myth

$_$

Singapore, you have done it again.

Choking

Twisted logic

3 great teachers

cold cold, go away

Which side of the coin are you

終於發行了 =)

Obscenity & Atrocity

Blind Horse

In the rain...

Back to reality

Random thoughts part 2

Random thoughts

Life Cycle

How's life been?

Of dead poets and living minds

How socially aware are you?

不倒翁

b.a.n.d

Silence engulfs me

Unconscious Consciousness

January 2007

The war has begun

2007 - the year of the bad virus

And I still haven't found, what I'm looking for

Finale... back home

Prelude to the finale

Taipei, the land where anything can happen

Alone but never lonely

Countdown!!

no more winter countdown

was it real? (continued...)

Was it real?

Happy Family

Life

FIVE

Happiness

10 Nov

All in a day's work

蜻蜓 明天哪兒跑

好久了, 還是不見.

my to-be purchase..

maybe its meant to be

rollercoaster ride

dream dream dream

Has the adventure ended?

Huat La!

Congrats =)

2006 - the year of travel

Tpe Photo Blog (3)

Tpe Photo Blog (2)

Tpe Photo Blog

又是我想太多嗎?

Feeling energized at 3.30am

my once in a blue moon blog

Upcoming gigs

是誰需要殺手....

蜻蜓明天哪兒跑